Comments on: The Perfect One

By: Mike Morucci

Mike Morucci — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 19:03:59 +0000

Hi, Mina. I know a script must capture attention early for readers/producers/actors, but I love this particular example and your insight. As analytical as I might be, I had not made all these connections. ~Mike

By: Mina Zaher

Mina Zaher — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 18:59:14 +0000

Hi guys,

I can see what you’re saying but in terms of conveying character (and just to put it out there), wouldn’t there be a difference between a character who was a self-made millionaire at the age of 21 compared to the struggling writer who struggled for most of his life and finally sees success relatively recently? i.e. regarding the latter, this paragraph could illustrate a man who has been worn down by life but his material possessions such as the champagne shows the high life.

In terms of what makes him look like a good writer? Again, this is in the character – he’s confident; there’s a worldly wisdom about him – especially if you compare him to Kaufman trying to write in Adaptation.

My favourite scripts when reading are the ones that allow you into the character and under their skin immediately. Of course, you don’t explore their thoughts as in a novel – but you need to get to know them, quickly in order to grasp who they are and identify with them.

Screenplays are as much about evoking an emotional journey as well as providing a visual blueprint for the story. A very difficult balance to strike. I’m still figuring it out myself.

Just my two cents worth.

mxo

By: Houston

Houston — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 09:44:53 +0000

I suppose a poor writer wouldn’t have wine and cigarette waiting on stand buy in a Hotel Suite. I think all this contributes to the visual, but ultimately is the Directors decision to make. If he was a poor writer, he might be in his basement and much more grittier and probably only have a cup of coffee. But in your defence that did stick out when I first read it. :)

By: Diane

Diane — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 21:50:54 +0000

The writing is quite vivid, but more for a novel and not a screenplay, as we newbies are taught: we can’t see he’s been a writer for 18 years and that the last 9 have been very successful! That’s a wasted action/description paragraph. All we can really get out of that paragraph is that Paul is middle-aged and appears confident in what he’s typing. What can we see that makes him a good writer? It’s a hotel room–are there any framed awards on the wall? All we really know is that he’s just finished typing a lengthy manuscript.