A few years ago I had a student who kept repeating a word I had never heard before, until I realised he was concatenating two familiar words into something quite bizarre. I am aware that I do something similar, when I bunch together the phrases “you know” and “I mean” into “ya-meen”. I don’t know anyone else who does this, so I’m proud of my idiolect.

In movie dialogue, we distinguish characters among other things by their native language, dialect, and idiolect. And even though you rarely need to specify all this in the screenplay, it is good to have an understanding.

So, let’s look at a few ways of dealing with accents and foreign language, without hampering the read.

Leave it to the story

In Martin McDonagh’s In Bruges – one of the scripts we studied in Immersion – the characters each speak with their respective accents, but it’s never mentioned in the script. We assume that Ray and Ken are British from a line in the opening monologue “Get the fuck out of London.”

The lead characters ended up being played by Irish actors, but McDonagh has said that this was a happy coincidence more than anything else. When Ralph Fiennes’ character of Harry enters the film with his thick Cockney accent, you’ll find that this is not mentioned in the script, either.

Character introduction

By far the easiest way to set up how a character speaks, is in their first introduction.

If PAUL (28) is a pudgy Liverpudlian, we may assume this comes with the appropriate accent. You can specify whether the accent is slight or thick.

This technique avoids any possible annoyance with the reader, as nobody likes reading accent quirks throughout an entire script.

Scene Notes

Sometime characters change language in the course of a story. In this case, a SCENE NOTE right after the slug may indicate that “The entire scene is in Russian, subtitled in English”, or “During the flashbacks, everyone except our hero will speak Klingon.”

This avoids having to write a whole bunch of parentheticals. Speaking of which —

Choice Of Words

The characters in the world of the Coen brothers often speak in quirky ways. This never hampers the ease of reading their dialogue, as the accent is usually only apparent in the choice of words. A good example is Marge from Fargo.

MARGE [on the phone]: Oh my. Where? Yeah? Aw geez. Okay, there in a jif. Real good, then.

Parenthetical

When a single line, or a few lines are spoken in a different language, you have two options: either you want the audience to understand it, or you don’t.

If you do, the foreign language lines will be subtitled in the film; and if you don’t, they won’t.

Write the lines in English with a parenthetical, e.g. (in Italian) to show they need subtitles. In this way, the reader has the same experience as the audience: it’s a foreign language but they understand what is being said.

If you’re using a simple word or short phrase (ciao, nyet, or ‘dio mio’) and you trust your audience will understand it, just print it verbatim.

Original Dialogue

Sometimes the language is foreign to the main character, and we want the audience to feel just as confused as them, by not translating. In this case, you write the dialogue in the script in the original foreign language – without parenthetical.

This means there won’t be any subtitles, keeping the audience in the hero’s POV.

Do you know of any other ways of dealing with accents, dialect or foreign language? Or do you have great script examples to prove or disprove any of the above, please tell us in the comments.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

Steven Miao created the opening video sting and Mukul Kandara helped with setting it all up. Thanks, guys!

The channel had been in the making for a long time, but I just have been too busy with clients, teaching and workshopping awesome projects. What I was planning on doing in January 2017 has finally come to fruition. Will I be able to keep it up? We’ll see.

In the first video, I talk briefly about the correct way to format audio and voice over on a black screen. So many times I have seen this done improperly in screenplays. Yet it is so easy…

Of course, something went wrong during the filming of that first YouTube video, so you couldn’t see the example I was talking about (you can see it below in this article).

I didn’t want to fix the video.

Why not?

The hunt for perfection had been a curse for too long. An excuse for continued procrastination. It was time to ship.

In a way, your shipping is writing; sitting down to commit words to paper.

If you don’t write, great ideas won’t happen. If you don’t believe me, watch that TED talk with Elizabeth Gilbert again.

Okay, back to the formatting class.

Audio Over Black

The example I give in the video is from The Big Sick.

In the YouTube video, you can’t see it. My mistake. But here it is:

As I said above: it is so simple! You just write ‘OVER BLACK’, and then you describe what we hear. At the beginning of a screenplay, this will be printed BEFORE the slugline that introduces the first scene visually.

Easy, right?

Superimposed Text Over Image (Super)

The other thing people often ask me about is how to correctly write a title in the screenplay.

First, you don’t really call this a TITLE. We reserve this for the OPENING and CLOSING TITLES, like you will see in the example.

When you want to indicate where we are (e.g. Paris, Texas), or the time/date (The 18th of December, 2017), you use a SUPER (as in ‘superimposed’).

Mostly I see beginning writers open a scene with the slugline (or scene heading), and then immediately print the Super.

I don’t particularly like this, because the slugline doesn’t give me enough information to visualise the background that the title will be sitting over.

Mostly you will have a shot held for a few seconds before the Super comes in, like in this example from The Disaster Artist:

In the YouTube video, I mentioned that the slugline is imperfect. It should have a full-stop after “INT”, and ideally you also print the time of day at the end of the slugline, e.g. “INT. JEAN SHELTON’S ACTING STUDIO – DAY”.

Then again, my video wasn’t perfect either.

With all this talk about imperfection I may have given the impression that your script doesn’t have to be perfect.

Well, it doesn’t. Until you send it out…

But that’s a different video altogether.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

If you are one of this talented few, script formatting applications like Celtx, Movie Magic and Final Draft are great productivity tools. These take the hassle out of capitalising, indenting and laying out a script in the format demanded by the Hollywood movie moguls.

They also remember the names of your characters and scene locations. They’ll check your spelling, allow you to classify and rearrange scenes, and produce shooting scripts and script reports for your production team.

Final Draft has fought its way to the top in the screenplay formatting wars. If you believe the hype, it is “used by 95% of film and television productions.”

But for most of us, writing a screenplay begins long before we sit down at the keyboard with that real or virtual clean sheet in front of us. If you follow The Story Department’s advice, and have visited Logline It, you know the drill. You will have refined your logline, described the inciting incident, and developed a 3-act structure. You will have laid out the main beats and arcs and possibly covered your wall with scrawled library cards before you type EXT.

There are a few computer applications that can help you with this early stage. Pre-scripting is by definition a messy job with lots of redundancy.

Final Draft 10 aims to pull the whole process together into a single software package. (Declaration of interest: I’ve been a voluntary beta tester on Final Draft 10 for the past 18 months, but I have no financial interest in the software.)

In this review I’ll assume that the script formatting aspect of Final Draft needs no explanation or comment. I’ll confine myself to the meta-script aspects and the new and improved pre-scripting tools.

NAVIGATOR

This tabbed panel is not new — it’s been part of Final Draft for the past 3-4 versions at least, but its utility has been improved.

If you’re already using Final Draft you’ll be familiar with how use it to jump to, drag, rearrange and colour-code scenes. You know how to keep track of characters and define their arcs; and add script notes.

Now the Navigator is linked to The Story Map, which multiplies its usefulness.

STORY MAP

While the Navigator provides a running overview of your screenplay as you are writing it, the Story Map is an omnipresent, interactive view of your story.

It is a horizontal bar at the top of the window, providing an overview of your script at a glance.

Before you begin, you set a target length in pages, define Structure Points (eg. acts, mid-point) and add Beats. These become page targets in the Story Map. You can, of course, drag these targets around, add new points or erase them at will.

As you write new scenes, they appear in the Story Map along with any colours you added in the Navigator. Double clicking on a scene in the Map takes you to that scene in the script. You can zoom in to examine your scene sequence, or zoom out for a birds-eye view of your screenplay.

BEAT BOARD

The Beat Board is the most obvious new feature in Final Draft 10. It’s your pin board, where you scribble on virtual library cards and drag them around until they make sense.

The Board is totally free format, equally useful for brainstorming, structuring and making notes. Double click anywhere on the board to create a card, then change its size and colour and location and drag it into position.

What you put on these virtual cards is up to you: ideas, notes, character sketches, scene descriptions, “beats,” reminders, phone numbers, shopping lists…

I’ve never been an enthusiastic user of library cards and preferred Scrivener to structure my story. However, I’ve become a fan of the Beat Board for this visual process of brainstorming, rearranging, refining and editing.

It is instinctive and almost infinitely flexible. I’d appreciate more colours and a “snap to grid” option, though. Maybe that is my OCD speaking. And I’d like to be able to add hyperlinks and images, but maybe these will come in later versions.

(NB. The Beat Board is not related to the Index Cards view, which has been an option under the VIEW menu since Version 1.)

SPLIT

In Final Draft 9, you had the ability to split the screen vertically or horizontally, but now you can drag your Beats directly into your screenplay from the Split view.

ALT DIALOGUE

Now here’s a handy feature: say you can’t decide whether a character is a Yank or an Aussie; whether he says “Wassup dude?” or “G’day mate?”

This handy refinement enables you to include any number of alternatives.

Just click on the small “+” beside the line and type in the Yank/Aussie lines.

Both alternatives remain in the screenplay until you decide which market you are selling to.

COLLABORATION

I’ve been collaborating on a script with a writer in the USA. We used to email copies back and forth and mark our contributions and changes using Script Notes and colours.

With FD10 and Skype it’s as though we are sitting side-by-side. It’s as simple as clicking “Collaborate”, obtaining a Session ID Number and Skyping (or emailing) the number to him. He clicks Collaborate and enters the ID Number and my script appears on his computer.

We pass Control back and forward and any changes one of us makes, the other sees in real time. You can communicate interactively using text or speech, though we prefer to run a Skype session beside it. It’s as painless as your bandwidth allows.

Unfortunately, the Beat Board, Splits and several other new features are greyed out in Collaboration mode. I hope they are going to be included in versions 10+.

OTHER IMPROVEMENTS

There are a lot of smaller improvements in Version 10, too. You’ll find more scene numbering options, header and footer improvements, revision versions. A long-overdue improvement is in the Dictionaries: Australian English works at last and I’ve tried it with French and German. And here’s a neat trick: when I’m collaborating with my American colleague, his spell-checker reads US English and mine is Australian English.

WORTH THE PRICE?

If you’re a serious scriptwriter, Final Draft 8 or 9 were always worth the investment. MacOS and Windows Final Draft documents are interchangeable and it delivers a script that won’t be rejected on formatting grounds by those picky Hollywood producers’ assistants. There are now Final Draft apps for iPhone and iPad, for both reading (free) and writing (US$10). So you can take it anywhere.

Let’s face it, Final Draft 10 is an investment, whether you are buying it or upgrading. If you’re not being paid for scriptwriting, perhaps stick with Celtx (free) and library cards for a while. When you’re ready to step into the bear pit, download the Free Trial from finaldraft.com, and explore the introduction screens and videos.

If you think it’s for you, check this site for the best price!

FINAL DRAFT 10: FINAL THOUGHTS

Final Draft 10 is a new ball game, with useful, powerful and stable pre-scripting tools and the best collaboration feature on the market.

There are a few options that I hope appear in 10.1: more colours and a snap-to-grid in the Beat Board. Equally useful would be hyperlinks, and the ability to past graphics. Extending the collaboration capability to the Beat Board will double its usefulness.

-Ian Hart

Ian Hart

Ian Hart is a freelance writer and director.

peacemountain.com.au

A free screenwriting course? Too good to be true.

Of course it is. But hear me out.

As my boss in London told me, you can only have two out of these three: cheap, fast and good. Poor Luke Stinson wanted all, and he copped a lot of flak when he posted this on Facebook in the Screenwriting group:

“Can someone completely teach me how to write a screenplay,
like guide me and step by step without money involved. Thanks”

Some believed Luke was being sarcastic. However, it sufficed to click on Luke’s profile to see that he is just an innocent kid from the Central Coast in NSW, Australia.

It would have been easy to add to the storm of indignation, and protect my livelihood by arguing why people should pay for screenwriting classes.

But I remembered what my boss said. So Luke should be able to get cheap and good, or perhaps cheap and fast.

My existing courses are fast (12 days of classes) and good. People also pay a thousand dollars, so that isn’t going to help Luke. And given that I don’t do ‘bad’, the only option available for Luke’s free screenwriting course would be in the category ‘slow and good’.

So I started thinking.

No books, no courses

I learn about storytelling every day, and I hardly ever read books.

I study and analyse movies and scripts. This is how Syd Field made it, this is what many professional screenwriters do, and it is what Luke should do.

(And at this point, let’s be realistic. Luke may never be prepared to make the effort. But let’s for the sake of the argument assume that Luke is indeed passionate and persistent. I know people out there who are, but truly cannot afford the best screenwriting courses.)

Members of the Facebook group largely agree that Luke should devour all scripts he can lay his hands on, watch tons of movies, and ‘read all the books’.

The problem with this of course is that Luke can’t possibly read all the screenwriting books in his lifetime. Jack Brislee told me years ago that he found 2,000+ publications on screenwriting, on Amazon.com alone.

Reading as many scripts as possible is great, but if Luke has access to bad scripts, should he really read them, too? And how can he tell the difference?

Finally, how is watching movies going to help? EVERYONE watches tons of movies. Does this bring everyone closer to being a screenwriter? Well, no.

In addition to the reading and watching, there will need to be a hell of a lot of analysis and reflection.

What Makes The Difference

I believe that my 30 year experience in the industry, and 10 years of working with screenwriters (20 years if you include my development & acquisition years) can help distinguish between what Luke should read and watch, in what order, and what he should leave aside.

It is tempting to pre-package the learning, and just share (or sell) the wisdom and insights that may result from the work. The strongest, and only lasting learning, however, comes from self-discovery. Rather than pre-package the knowledge, I will guide the student where to go in order to do the discovering.

So I’m now developing a simple free screenwriting course, based on reading, watching and writing. No mentors involved. No money paid.

The first one hundred days will immerse Luke in format and style, at a pace that is manageable, spending about 1 hour every day. He will perform a deceptively simple, yet powerful writing exercise. This will take no more than about ten to fifteen minutes each day. For the remainder of the hour, he will read from 20 screenplays that I have handpicked. After finishing each script, he will write two pages following a few simple questions and instructions, before moving to the next.

Once he has worked through the scripts and completed the exercise, he is ready for a bigger challenge. One simple task, but one that will require him to investigate the screenplay format more closely, and learn it actively. This part of the course will probably take him one month, and it will be followed by a similar, yet more challenging task.

After 5 months, Luke is ready to write his own first screenplay.

Self-Made Screenwriter

At this point, Luke will not have had a single screenwriting class. Yet he will have progressively learned more about the nature of scriptwriting, the challenges as well as the core skills required to write for the screen.

After six months, he will have written his first script, and be ready to receive his first professional feedback.

If it works – judged by myself as well as the participants – I will design a 6 month follow-up program (self-study, again) to bring the participants to intermediate level.

What’s in it for me? I want to test this program, and hopefully confirm my sneaking suspicion that you don’t need a single screenwriting book to learn the basics of the craft in only 6 months.

I remember Scott Meyers once ran a free program over at GITS, and I’ve always found him an inspiring example. Another thinker who has influenced me is Seth Godin. Check out these guys.

When you’re reading all this, you may be getting excited, and itching to join in. Let’s go over a few of the details and requirements. More will follow once you sign up.

Free Screenwriting Course Details

• Six months commitment.
• One hour availability per day.
• No experience required (nor desired).
• Self-study only; no personal mentor feedback.
• No screenwriting theory instruction.
• Tasks to be sent via email or uploaded.
• Closed Facebook group for peer feedback.
• Monthly webinars for questions & discussion.[/fivecol_four_last]

Your Chance To Participate

Initially I said that this would be open to only 5 students, and I will keep it at that number. I will encourage them to do the work, and keep them accountable. I don’t have the time to communicate with more than 5 people. It’s free, remember?

That said, I will open up the program, and you can now apply. You will get support from their peers in the program through a closed Facebook group where everyone can participate. You will also have to pledge to a different type of accountability…

If you drop out before the 6 months are up, or if you fail to deliver 2 successive script reports, you will pay an amount of your choice (previously agreed) to me, or to charity. If you are serious, you set this amount high enough so it’s an incentive to keep going.

Trust me, there will be moments when you need this sword of Damocles dangling above your head to keep doing the work.

To be considered, click below to go to the registration page, where you can request access to the closed Facebook Group. As soon as I have approved your request, you will receive further details about the course, so you can decide whether this is for you or not.

When the first class kicked off on 1 July 2016, over a hundred students were on the waiting list, so I will be starting new courses frequently. If you’re interested, join the closed Facebook Group, and you’ll be invited to our next info webinar.

I’m crazy, I know. But who is not, who is successful in film?

-Karel Segers

Update: The honeymoon is over. 200 started the course, after applications closed in November 2016. The irony? Luke Stinson never joined us. Possibly because of the misguided perception that free stuff is inferior.

The course was meanwhile updated to a slicker, more interactive version… and it is no longer free. 

Still, the results have been incredible, with dozens of writers completing full-length feature screenplays, and more submitting their work every day. Enrol here, and join us for the rest of the journey!

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

Because of its incredible success, it is worth studying the Avatar screenplay and its story structure. With the top two highest grossing movies ever behind his name, writer/director Jim Cameron knows what he is doing. These are not studio-driven movies: they are personal obsessions. Titanic was Cameron’s excuse (and funding source) to continue his infatuation with the deep ocean, while Avatar is now apparently all he wants to do – ever again. The sequels Avatar II, III and IV, which the director is working on in his new home in New Zealand, are currently scheduled for 2017 and 2019.

The Avatar Screenplay

Avatar is in essence a simple ‘boy meets girl’ story within the action genre, and it covers a whole range of themes – if you want to see them – from environmentalist, anti-colonialist, to buddhist. The movie is long, but clearly not too long, telling from its success. The post-production script  was only 110p.

How come Cameron’s movies put half the planet at the edge of their seat? No-one – probably not even Jim himself – know. But I believe his understanding of mythical storytelling has something to do with it. The only way to connect with a planet-wide audience, is to tap into the mythology of the times.

The film abounds with mythical imagery and archetypes. Jakes doesn’t just have one mentor. He has three. In the Ordinary World, Colonel Quaritch gives him the life lessons; once on Pandora, Neytiri will take that function. During the transition from the one world to the next, Jake’s third mentor, the ‘threshold mentor’, is played by played by Sigourney Weaver as Grace. The last thing she says to Jake, just before the start of the Threshold sequence is “Just keep your mouth shut.” He is going into unknown territory and will have to let his mentor(s) lead him. Throughout the scene, Grace keeps giving Jake advise. “Don’t run,” but a moment later “Run! Definitely run!”

Join Cameron’s Screenwriting Class

Avatar has been lauded for its eye candy, but too easily despised for its screenplay. In my view, any critics just don’t like this type of cinema, as Cameron’s screenplays are excellent. In fact, many of his peers could learn from him. Cameron doesn’t have to deliver a script to the industry standard, or any standard for that matter. Yet his screenplays are prime examples for any beginning screenwriter: clear, tight, visual, well-formatted, and with clear, dramatic subtext written into the scenes where necessary. Don’t forget that these are action movies, after all.

Cameron has a brilliant action writing style, with ample use of double dashes (—) to build and keep suspense for the reader.

Alien for dessert

The threshold sequence opens as the crew flies into the jungles of Pandora. Have you noticed that we never see the choppers take off? We never even see them climb. In this sequence, we can only see them descend. Do you believe this is coincidence, when every Hero’s Journey begins with a descent into the Special World? I don’t.

Jake goes exploring and the tension rises gradually, as he passes his first few tests in this new territory, assisted by Grace and her team. The third test – the Thanator – chases him away from his mates, until he is completely separated, and there is no way back before nightfall. Again, all mythical imagery…

Have a look at how the Thanatos is introduced in the script:

You have got to admit: this is a fun read. James Cameron doesn’t have to sell his script as badly as you and I do. He has to raise financing, yes, but by the mid 2000’s, people were pretty confident that Cameron would deliver the goods.

“This thing could eat a T-rex and have the Alien for desert.”

Note also that in this Threshold passage, Jake loses his rifle and his backpack. These are typically tools from the Ordinary World, and they are of no use in the new world. In a mythical sense, Jake is stripped naked from all that protected him, ready to be reborn.

And guess where he ends up in the final moments of this sequence… amneotic fluid, also known as Pandora water.

– Karel Segers

[vimeo 117134935 w=960 h=540]

Download the Avatar screenplay sample here.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

by David Trottier

“Would you like a piece?” she asked the class.

Sitting on the front row, I was sure my chances were good. My hand shot up like a rocket. In fact, everyone raised their hand, including obnoxious Ollie sitting next to me who started screaming, “Oh, me, me, ME!”

“Okay.” It was almost a whisper, and she smiled so sweetly. And then she slapped her hand into the cake, grabbed a fistful, and dropped it into Ollie’s lap. He looked up at her helplessly.

“Go ahead and eat it,” she told him.

The big oaf just shook his head. The nasty expression on his face said it all.

And then the professor addressed the class and asked, “Is presentation important?”

She had us. Of course it was. After all, there was nothing wrong with the content of the cake, but there was a lot wrong with the format of her presentation. It seemed that no one wanted a piece after that.

And so it is with screenplays. Imagine dropping a sloppy mess into the lap of a reader. What might his or her reaction be?

Formatting is an important part of presentation. The script should look attractive to read. Part of that is writing it in the language of professionals who will read it.

Formatting affects readability, another aspect of presentation. The story should be clear and evoke emotion in the heart of the reader. The last thing you want to do is distract the reader from the most important thing in the script—the content of your wonderful story.

Does formatting have to be perfect? No. And neither does a chocolate cake. But your presentation will help make the “read” a most excellent sensory experience.

-David Trottier

David Trottier has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.
He is an award-winning teacher and in-demand script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by David Trottier

In the first example, Sharon receives a text message from someone that she (Sharon) wants to show to Cynthia.

INT. SHARON’S ROOM – DAY

Sharon displays her iPhone for Cynthia to see. The text message reads: “I’m engaged!”

It’s important to put quotation marks around anything you want the movie-going audience to see and read. If the text message is misspelled, show the misspelling. If you want to emphasize the message so that the reader doesn’t miss it, then you might use the following approach:

Sharon displays her iPhone for Cynthia to see.

ON THE IPHONE SCREEN

the text message reads:

“I’m engaged!”

BACK TO SCENE

As you can see, you should indent the text message just as you would dialogue. Handle email conversations in the same way. Here’s an example.

Sharon reads the email on her laptop.

ON THE LAPTOP SCREEN

“I’m engaged!”

BACK TO SHARON’S ROOM

The following is a correct revision of the exact same situation:

Sharon reads the email on her laptop.

ON THE MONITOR

“I’m engaged!”

BACK TO SCENE

As an alternative to the heading BACK TO SCENE or BACK TO SHARON’S ROOM, you could focus solely on Sharon’s reaction to reading the email, as illustrated below.

(Incidentally, if you decide to use a character’s name as a secondary scene heading, keep in mind that, in so doing, you are communicating to the reader that you want the camera on that character until the next heading appears. In other words, if you want to describe something happening elsewhere in the room, you will need to indicate that new location in a new scene heading.)

SHARON

jumps joyfully from her desk, grabs her iPhone, and starts texting.

ON SHARON’S IPHONE SCREEN

“Guess what happened?”

BACK TO SHARON

who suddenly becomes aware of her blaring TV set.

ON SHARON’S TV

A NEWS REPORTER holds a paper in his hand.

NEWS REPORTER
This just in. Alice is engaged.

As you can see from the above examples, you can use the same format for emails, text messages, and TV announcements, and you can use a variety of styles. Here is an additional example.

Sharon glances at the email on her laptop. It reads: “We’re engaged!”

Sharon jumps joyfully from her desk, grabs her cell, and starts texting.

INSERT – SHARON’S IPHONE, which reads:N

“Guess what happened?”

BACK TO SHARON’S ROOM

Or you could end with BACK TO SCENE or BACK TO SHARON

In the above example, I inserted the INSERT, but I could just as easily have written the following:

Sharon jumps joyfully from her desk, grabs her iPhone, and starts texting: “Guess what happened?”

As you can see, in formatting, there is often more than one way to skin a cat, depending on your purpose, the amount of space you have, and how readable you want your script to be. Use the method or methods that best suit you, and keep writing!

* * *

And incidentally, if you’re wondering how to indent messages (as described above) using Movie Magic Screenwriter or Final Draft, please follow the instructions below.

If you use Movie Magic Screenwriter, select the “Action” element. Then click on “Format” on the top toolbar and then “Cheat” and “Element” (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right).

If you use Final Draft, make sure your ruler is visible at the top of the document. If not, click “View,” then click on “Ruler.” Select the “Action” element. Select the paragraph you want to indent. Then, with your mouse, grab the little square bottom of the hourglass at the left of the ruler and drag it to 2.5, and grab the margin marker on the right and move it to 6.0.

If you’d like to keep this new element for future screenplays, follow these directions: Click on “Format” and then “Elements.” You’ll see a list of elements. Below that, click on “New.” At the top left, name the element; for example, “Special indent.” Under the “Paragraph” tab, under “Indents,” select 2.5 for your left margin and 6.0 for your right margin. Click “OK.” To save as a permanent template, click “File” and “Save as.” You should be able to find your way from there.

-David Trottier

David Trottier has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.
He is an award-winning teacher and in-demand script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

:: Video: How to Do Visual Comedy
:: How to Take the Terror Out of Writing
:: Screenplay Review – A Monster Calls

Script Perfection

:: What Kind of Script Should You Write?
:: The Schneid.
:: How to Raise the Stakes by Challenging a Character’s Identity

Pitching & Selling

:: “Get a Real Job!”
:: The Dangers of Improper Presentation

Best of the Rest

:: Here Are The Most Tweeted-About TV Shows Of The Season
:: ‘The Stand’ Director Josh Boone Crafting 3-Hour, R-Rated Adaptation
:: Emmys Matthew McConaughey True Detective Q&A Dallas Buyers Club
:: ‘House of Cards’ E.P. Beau Willimon Talks Sociopaths And Politics
_______________________________

With thanks to Cameron Pattison.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by David Trottier

As a script consultant, I sometimes find myself saying while reading a script, “Where am I?” For example, here’s one of my favorite formatting mistakes:

INT. A HECTIC BREAKFAST – DAY

“A hectic breakfast” is not a location. Where am I? Here’s another goof:

EXT. OCEAN – DAY

Marion runs through the waves.

LIBRARY

Marion reads a book.

How can a library be part of the ocean? Is it a floating library? And how did we get from an exterior camera placement to an interior? Did I miss something?

I sometimes find myself saying… “Where am I?”

Do you see the potential confusion? It’s not good for you to have a reader stop and try to figure something like this out. You want the story to flow steadily through the reader’s mind. Formatting mistakes like these aren’t going to help you.

In view of that, here are your key principles for scene headings.

Begin a scene with a master scene heading. Include the master (or primary) location; for example, EXT. SMITH HOUSE – DAY. Other locations (such as BEDROOM or HALLWAY) that are part of the master location are called secondary locations. The resulting heading is called a secondary scene heading.

In addition, it’s okay to add a secondary location to a master (primary) location in a master scene heading. I’ll illustrate all of these points below.

First, we’ll begin with the master scene heading. This one includes a secondary location. Next, we’ll move to other secondary locations.

INT. SMITH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

John slams the front door and races down the
HALLWAY

and into his

BEDROOM

where he dives on top of his bed and sobs.

The above is correct, but it could have just as easily been written like this, which is also correct:

INT. SMITH HOUSE – DAY

LIVING ROOM

John slams the front door and races out.

HALLWAY

He runs past pictures of his family.

BEDROOM
He stumbles in and falls on his bed sobbing.

As you can see, any number of secondary headings can follow. Just make sure they are part of the master (primary) location. Once we change the camera placement to an exterior location, or to one that is not part of the master location, we must create a new master scene heading.

You want the story to flow steadily through the reader’s mind.

If I may, I’ll mention one other common formatting fumble.

EXT. A WINDY NIGHT WITH A PALE MOON SHINING THROUGH TREES IN THE WOODS

This one includes description in the scene heading.

It should have been written as follows:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
A pale moon shines through trees buffeted by a stiff wind.

Save the description for the description (action) sections of your script. And save the reader a lot of pain.

Make him or her a happy reader. Avoid silly formatting mistakes like these above.

A happy reader can make you a happy writer.

-David Trottier

David Trottier has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced). He’s also helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.

He is an award-winning teacher and in-demand script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com. He’ll save you from formatting mistakes – and embarrassment.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

:: The Origins and Formatting of Modern Screenplays
:: 30 Days of Screenplays, Day 30: “Michael Clayton”
:: Man of Steel Story Map Screenplay Analysis and Podcast
:: Scene Of The Week: ‘The Godfather’
:: High Concept Hilarity
:: Sequences and ‘Toy Story’
:: Fridays With Hitchcock
:: Great Character: Erin Brockovich
:: Screenplay Review – The Lone Ranger
:: Amateur Friday – “Paralleled”

Script Perfection

:: Transcript of Scriptnotes, Ep. 95
:: One Way to Deal With Multiple Time Jumps
:: Scriptnotes, 96: Three Page Challenge
:: Tips to Write a Screenplay Fast!
:: Thinking About Money
:: Interview – Arash Amel

Pitching & Selling

:: “The Heat” and “White House Down”: A Tale of Two Spec Scripts
:: Even I Can’t Get An Agent
:: Magic Beans
:: Black List Submission Gets a 9!

Best of the Rest

:: Keeping Some Creative Control as a Screenwriter/Producer
:: Guillermo del Toro Edges Toward Greater Success With ‘Pacific Rim’
:: Movie Review – The Heat
:: Things That Drive Me Crazy on TV
:: DIY “Bullet Time” Rig with GoPro and a Ceiling Fan
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell.

Enjoy!

Karel

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au