The original broadcasts were in standard definition, and in the old 4×3 aspect ratio. Only at the end of 2014 – seven years after the last season premiered – a remastered version was released in 16x9HD. For me it was a reason to revisit 60 hours of spectacular drama.

60 hours of spectacular drama.

The Wire immerses us in stories from the street, in drugs beleaguered Baltimore. We live with the dealers on the corners and among the high-rises, and we follow homicide and narcotics police struggling to curb the unrelenting death toll. We see the connections with politics, the role and impotence of the education system, and the power of the press.

The Wire is pure mythical storytelling. We get an insight into the Hero’s Journey of an addicted Baltimore homicide cop, and we learn about the complexity of a micro-cosmos that is very much a metaphor for modern day America.

David Simon

Creator and executive producer David Simon is one of the smartest show runners around. He managed to fit an issue as complex and far-reaching as the urban drug trade into a one-hour entertainment concept, without dumbing down characters and plot (much). The feat is simply mind-boggling. That said, the Hero’s Journey myth helped Simon in his sheer insurmountable challenge.

Creator and executive producer David Simon is
one of the smartest show runners around.

David Simon genuinely cares about his characters. All of them. Long after the show had aired first, Simon keeps lobbying for the plight of his cast, many of whom weren’t professional actors, but plucked from the streets of Baltimore.

The ‘war on drugs’ is effectively a ‘war on the poor’. The Wire is a dramatic testimony to this fact. In the series, Simon also shows us how politicians have a stake in the trade, and therefore will never make serious attempts to fight it.

The ‘war on drugs’ is effectively a ‘war on the poor’.

Hero’s Journey In A Serial

Given Simon’s tremendous integrity when it comes to representing the Truth, I didn’t expect him to build a Hero’s Journey. Rather like a docudrama, I thought he would waive a more realistic narrative, without a conventional ebb and flow, let alone neatly closed storylines. Looking at the individual episodes, indeed it seemed he didn’t stick to the classic 4-act ‘clock’ one-hour drama.

I didn’t expect him to build a Hero’s Journey.

Then, we approached the mid of Season 1, and I realised a few things. We had not seen the face of the Shadow character Avon Barksdale until well into the series. Hero McNulty uses his little sons when he shadows Stringer Bell, and for the first time his addictions are mentioned explicitly in dialogue (work, woman and booze). Meeting with the Hero’s Journey Shadow, things becoming personal, and awareness of the Hero’s flaw; three typical aspects of a strong mid point in any major dramatic story.

It doesn’t end there. As we move towards the end of the season’s 2^nd act, things get more and more difficult… and McNulty must approach his ‘inmost cave’. Like in every Hero’s Journey story, it means the character is facing his own weakness, and a confrontation with death…

Three typical aspects of a strong mid point
in any major dramatic story.

True Detectives

When True Detective was released, my industry peers raved about the long one-take shot at the end of Episode 4. Admittedly, it was an impressive feat. More impressive even, was the sense of scope, the relative powerlessness of the heroes under the circumstances, and the feeling of dread and impending doom.

While watching that shot in True Detective, I remembered something. There is this brilliant sequence towards the end of The Wire S01E10, an episode written by the core team of David Simon and Ed Burns; and directed by Brad Anderson (“The Machinist”).

More impressive even, was the sense of scope,
the relative powerlessness of the heroes under the circumstances,
and the feeling of dread and impending doom.

Officer Kima Greggs goes undercover to witness a drug deal. She is covered by colleagues, who are tailing her in several unmarked police cars, all ready to jump in, if and when necessary.

Then, things feel wrong… Kima has lost track of where she is. Street signs don’t seem to make sense… and furtive shadows approach the car. What follows is a brilliant, cinematic sequence, brimming with menace and suspense: The Hero’s Journey Ordeal.

Not a single note of music, other than the diegetic hiphop track from the car radio.

No need for subtitles.

-Karel Segers

[vimeo 128212971 w=900 h=504]

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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by Steven Fernandez

Some (if not most) local screenwriters see themselves as champions of local culture when they write loads of “G’day mate” dialogue in their scripts. They think that they are being stalwart defenders of charming “dinkum Aussie” characters when they write the same-old, same-old, rustic larrikins who are shallow and hardly evolve.

The problem with these over-done elements is that they are superficial and largely meaningless to the international audience.  And, like it or not, this audience matters a lot.  Why?  Because without overseas success an Australian film has almost no chance of making a profit.

Without overseas success an Australian film has
almost no chance of making a profit.

But what can we do to turn this around?

In short, we should stop perpetuating empty local stereotypes and start telling stories on the basis of universal themes.  Themes that everyone – including the overseas market – can relate to.  Two larrikins speaking ‘Aussie’ and drinking beer by a billabong do not cut it by this measure.  Unless, that is, there is a deeper context to this scene that is in fact universal.

For example, perhaps one of the men fears losing his wife to a more refined rival.  Or, alternatively, he has a son or daughter who adamantly does not want to carry on the family farm after he dies.  To make this second example less hackneyed, you can have the father himself conflicted about how much future his farm really has.

We should stop perpetuating empty local stereotypes and
start telling stories on the basis of universal themes

If you really must load your script with “G’day mate” dialogue, then at least have your characters deal with challenges that the world can immediately relate to.  Do not write or make a film that has little relevance to an overseas viewer.  No matter how important you think it is to put local idiosyncracies on a pedestal.

Let’s take the specific example of racism.  Suppose we want to craft an Australian story around this universal theme.  And to do so without resorting to over-done elements or shallow characters.  How could we go about doing that?

Well, I can immediately think of two different ways.

One story concept could be a nineteenth century version of Avatar.

The basic idea would be for some English infantryman to get lost in some east coast bush and then find himself rescued by the very “savages” that he has been ordered to hunt down.  You can have the familiar clash of cultures tension here, as well as the slow and grudging respect that grows within the soldier as he learns of the more elegant aspects of their culture.

To make this story less trite, you can show the indigenous culture having brutish and distinctly un-noble aspects.  For example, in the way that their women are treated.  In fact, on that basis, it is arguably more convincing that the pale-skinned stranger would actually succeed in winning the heart of the spunky huntress.
Simply because he treats her with comparative respect.

Do not write or make a film that has little relevance to an overseas viewer.

This story could be made less predictable (as well as historically more accurate) by having the local tribe lose on the whole.  Mind you, you need to be very careful when doing that.  In particular, you must still have the film end with hope rising.  So the colonial military must not win easily.  At a minimum, the tribesmen need to go down fighting heroically.  And, in addition, both the hero and the huntress must manage to escape into deeper woods.  (So that hope still rises.)

Additional tweaks could be made to this story to separate it from all the “white man goes native” films we have seen before.

Photo Credit: DaedaLusT – The U.S. Army – Dave Gray

-Steven Fernandez

What is your view on the stories told in Australian films?
Do you have an opinion? We’d love hear it in the comments!

Steven Fernandez is a writer-director of short films and theatrical shows in Sydney, Australia. He is currently writing Human Liberation – an epic novel and screenplay package set in mythic ancient Greece.

by Karel Segers

A chase is never just a chase.

Have you noticed that the biggest scenes with movement, travel, running, chasing etc. usually happen at particular times in great movies? Have you ever taken the time to reflect on this? Believe me, this is no coincidence.

In the Hero’s Journey, these scenes or sequences are called ‘Threshold Sequences’. The hero travels, not only from one place to the next, but from one state of mind – or state of being – to the next. So these stages of movement occur whenever the hero is ready to move on, usually after an important turning point: the Act One Climax, the Mid Point or the Act Two Climax.

Moving on.

Most screen stories are about change. Change for the characters (triggered by the world around them) or change in the world (triggered by the main character).

Change is about moving on. And moving on is symbolized by movement.
The mythical dimension of movement can take many forms, at least as many as there are functions of mythology. It can be about having faith and being ready to dive into the unknown. Or about exploring (and imagining) uncharted parts of the universe. Sometimes it represents a ‘movement’ in our society but most often it is about completing a psychological stage. This can be coming of age, overcoming fear or grief, etc.

An escape or chase can be about embracing change but still being afraid of the past catching up. The obstacles in these stages of movement are called ‘Threshold Guardians’ and they represent the characters’ reluctance to embrace the change.

Great movies have lots of movement.

Just look at the structure of last year’s Toy Story 3 to see how often Woody and his bunch are traveling, running, driving, flying. First there is the travel from home to Sunnyside. Next, Woody chooses to return to Andy and at the beginning of Act Two he leaves the other toys to embark on a fabulous threshold sequence through the corridors of Sunnyside, crossing the bathroom, climbing the roof, sailing over the playground and finally landing in a tree.

The second half of Act Two constitutes what is probably Pixar’s most elaborate and impressive threshold sequence. It starts with leaving the toy room, followed by crossing the playground where Baby is a major threshold guardian. Next the toys climb through the garbage chute and end up in the garbage truck. In any other movie, this would signify the Ordeal but it is effectively only a modest taster. The threshold sequence keeps moving even after the toys arrive at the tip. They end up on the conveyor belt that will transport them to the Cave. An unforgettable, instant-classic sequence of pure cinema.

Movement is inherently cinematic.

If your script is full of dialogue and talking heads, you may end up with interesting drama but it will never be mythical. Your movie will never be big. Pure cinema shows characters in motion at those points in their journey when they require it. To understand how much movement a good story can absorb and where to best place it, have a look at the structure of the biggest movie ever.

Remember, the word cinema comes from the Greek word “kine”, which means “motion”.

Refusing the Travel

I’m working on a screenplay with a highly experienced team and the story rocks. Until the third act. After the mid point, the hero decides to follow the love interest to an exotic destination but just before the end of the movie, the hero decides against it and stays put.

It feels wrong.

We’ve gone through so much trouble with this character and at the end she decides to just stay where she is. Now, the character has a perfectly valid – and emotionally understandable – motivation to NOT travel. But it still doesn’t work for me. It feels like a story for a small audience.  The decision not to travel feels very much like a refusal to change. And audiences want to believe that the hero – and they themselves – are capable of change.

You are writing a Road Movie

The road movie is the ultimate ‘vehicle’ for a character on a journey of reflection and change. Have you noticed that every main character in every movie reaches the destination a different person? And even if they don’t reach their destination, like e.g. Thelma and Louise, they are fundamentally transformed characters.

In my Character Development seminars on 9 and 10 October, I will show more examples of different types of movement in stories and explain what this means for the characters.

Movement is essential for change.

Travel as a symbol for change was probably never deliberately introduced as a story device. Its origins go back much earlier than any written story tradition and it is effectively part of the collective unconscious, which some say is hardwired in our brain. Just look at the oldest surviving culture on our planet and its rite of passage called “walkabout” to support this theory.

Do you have lots of movement in your story? In the right places?

– Karel Segers

Karel Segers is a producer and script consultant who started in movies as a rights buyer for Europe’s largest pay TV group Canal+. Back then it was handy to speak 5 languages. Less so today in Australia. Karel teaches, consults and lectures on screenwriting and the principles of storytelling to his 5-year old son Baxter and anyone who listens. He is also the boss of this blog.

photo credit: LouisHvejsel

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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He explains how he doesn’t want to see a movie about war or terrorism but rather something larger than life.

What JJ Abrams means is really how he wants to tell mythological stories and transcend reality while still talking about our reality. He also talks about the influence of  Jaws and Alien on Cloverfield.

With thanks to Louise Lee Mei and Niels Abercrombie.

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Check out this video link…

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For more videos about screenwriting or filmmaking, look in the sidebar or click on the category link under the title of this post.

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Thank you!

Karel

The movie pays off on every possible level. It’s fun, emotional and has tremendous depth.

I have seen it three times, each in a different format, and the story easily withstands multiple viewings.  A few days ago I shared my views on the various technical formats. In short: I’m not overly excited about the whole 3D thing still. It’s just delivered very poorly.

But rejoice! Today we’re talking STORY!!

Yes, friends, Toy Story 3 is formulaic. Much like Toy Story 1 (See Paul Gulino’s excellent analysis in Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach), it follows an 8-Sequence Hero’s Journey structure with a powerful Mid Point Reversal. Still, it is delightfully complex as you can peel layer after layer from a wonderfully crafted script.

Trust me, this level of supremely high quality screenwriting you don’t get very often in cinemas. A team of the best story brains in the world labored over it for years, including one of the finest screenplayers of our generation. The result: the winner of the 2010 Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. I’ll be damned if they don’t win.

I love doing these structural analyses and unfortunately I can’t always justify the time to write my notes with the breakdown. (At the time of this writing, I must apologize for still not having done this for the Gladiator breakdown)

This time, however, I found I had to give you at least something. Toy Story 3 is such an amazing example of successful sequential writing, as well as the pinnacle of Hero’s Journey structure. I know there are a few people out there still resisting the call from this type of structural approach but that’s fine. There’s two kinds of people in this world — Winners…and Losers. (LOL)

— massive spoilers ahead —

W.: Woody
B.: Buzz
MPH.: Mr. Potato Head
J.: Jessie
L.: Lotso
BB: Big Baby

ACT ONE

Sequence A: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” (15mins)

00.00    Pixar leaders + Title
01.00    W. vs. One-Eyed Bart & Betty (Mr. & Mrs. PH), aliens & Evil Dr. Pork Chop (Hamm)
05.00    Montage of video: Andy plays with toys as he grows up. “Our frienship will never die…”

06.15    A. about to leave for college.  Toys in chest, executing plan to get A.’s attention.
07.30    Calling Andy’s mobile – plan fails as he ignores the toys.
08.00    Staff meeting. Woody: “Andy is gonna put us in the attic.” Toy soldiers give up & leave.
10.00    Woody: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” Looks at old photo.
11.00    Buzz: “Guarantee it? … At least we’ll all be together.”
13.00    Andy opens chest, looks at toys, puts them in garbage bag. Woody & Buzz separated.

14.00    Andy goes to attic, Molly interrupts. Attic closes. Mom takes bag for garbage.

This is the movie’s first sequence climax. It holds both the Inciting Incident (toys to garbage) and Woody’s Call to Adventure (he witnesses the I.I.). He must act. Note that the ensuing action is not about staying together (a Call he is refusing as he’s accepted Andy’s choice to take Woody with him to college), but rather about saving his friends from the garbage truck, so they can go to the attic.

Sequence B: Woody saving friends, caught in car to daycare. (14mins)

15.00    Think, think, think! Dog Buster is no help: fat & old. Garbage truck getting closer.
16.30    Toys escape under. box J.: “I know what to do!” All in car in box to Sunnyside.
17.30    Woody: Mistake! Car door closes, drives off. W.: “You’ll be begging to go home!”
19.00    Looking through handle hole: Butterfly room. Kids playing peacefully with toys.

20.30    Warmly welcomed by other toys. Lotso: Playing all day. No owners, no heartbreak.
22.30    Ken’s Dreamhouse: Barbie in love with Ken. Lotso gives the toys a tour.
26.00    W.: “We need to go home.!” Toys try to convince him, unsuccessfully.
27.30    Buzz: “This is it? After all we’ve been through?” Extends hand to Woody. Woody refuses.

Woody’s final decision to pursue his overall goal (and initial plan) for this movie isn’t formulated until here: to return to Andy and be there for him when he goes to college. His refusal to accept Buzz’ hand is the movie’s second sequence climax and a reminder of the Inner Journey: he must learn to let go of the past and keep his loyalty to his friends, i.e. Stay Together.

Ironically, after Andy’s decision to separate Woody from his friends (in Sequence A) has been overturned, now the choice is put to Woody. He can stay together with them if he wants, but he chooses not to.

You might want to see the closing of the car door as the end of Act One, as that’s where the toys are leaving their Ordinary World. This is not a deliberate action by Woody, though.

He doesn’t voluntarily enter Sunnyside and the toys being together at that point is still too much of an Ordinary World, offering our hero a sense of comfort. The real separation only happens when Woody deliberately chooses to leave. It feels consistent with the way the sequence is built dramatically. Woody refusing Buzz’ extended hand is a tremendously powerful setup for the heart-wrenching Crisis scene, in which he will accept Buzz’ hand.

ACT TWO

Sequence C: Woody escapes. Toys see the less sunny side. (12mins)

28.30    Woody escapes: Corridor – Bathroom – Roof – Glider – Tree. Bonnie finds him.
31.00    Rough playtime. Buzz sees the Butterfly Room – contrast of peace.
33.00    Meeting Bonnie’s toys: heaven for Andy. Being played with & being loved.
35.00    Aftermath. Toys in Caterpillar Room lick their wounds. Moving to Butterfly Room!

36.00    We’re trapped! Open door.  Buzz follows Twitch and Chunk into candy dispenser.
38.30    Buzz overhears gamblers: “Lucky if they last a week.” B. Caught by Big Baby. To library!

Woody’s escape from Sunnyside is a fun ‘threshold sequence’, in which he travels and overcomes barriers to leave the world of Sunnyside.

If you want, you can see Toy Story 3 as a metaphorical tale about the end of (a toy’s) life.

Throughout the film you may recognize symbols of life and death, echoing religious notions of heaven, hell and purgatory. When Bonnie plays with Woody and throws him gently in the air, the image goes in slow motion, showing an ecstatic Woody. This is clearly heaven to him: being played with and being loved. It is no coincidence that this is where Woody will return after he narrowly escapes a burning hell by taking Buzz’ hand, a symbolic repentance.

The sequence ends on a strong climax with Buzz being in jeopardy.

Sequence D: Mid Point Reversal: Truth behind Sunnyside. (12mins)

40.00    Woody tries to leave Bonnie’s place. Toys protest.
40.30    Buzz questioned, Lotso: “We got a keeper!” Buzz reset to Demo mode.
43.00    Mrs. PH’s ‘other eye’ sees A. & Mom. “Woody was telling the truth! We gotta go home!”
44.00    Lotso: “You’re Not Going Anywhere. Lock ’em up!” Buzz ‘disables’ them.
47.30    W. hears Story of Daisy, Chuckles, Lotso and Big Baby.  W: “But… my friends are there!”

Like clockwork, after four of the eight sequences and halfway the movie, the tables are turned.

The Mid Sequence is only the second sequence of Act Two but it falls right in the middle of the story (40mins preceding it, 40mins following it), because Act One is significantly longer than Act Three.

Reversal #1: We have learned that Sunnyside is a very dark place to be, contrary to the first impression the toys had upon arrival.
Reversal #2: As a result of #1, Woody has changed his beliefs about staying with Andy vs. staying together with his friends. (Inner Journey)
Reversal #3: Consistent with the progress in his Inner Journey, Woody changes his Outer Journey approach and in stead of returning to Andy’s place, he will return to Sunnyside and help his friends.

ACT TWO-b

Sequence E: Woody back. Getting out tonight! (16mins)

52.00    Lotso: “Rise and shine, campers! Playdate with destiny.” More rough playtime.
53.30    Woody goes back in. Phone gives W. a 4-pronged strategy: “Get rid of that monkey.”

56.30    W. back with toys: “We’re busting out of here. Tonight!” Explains plan to toys.
58.00    Executing the plan: MPH gone – distraction manoeuvre. Woody & Slinky get out.
59.00    MPH escapes from the Box w/ Tortilla. / Woody immobilizes monkey.
60.30    Barbie: “Ken, would you model a few outfits for me?”
61.00    Monkey mummified – Woody finds the key. / Hamm and Rex catch Buzz under box.
63.00    Barbie: no more games, Ken. / Mr. Potato Head: coast clear, toys come out.
64.30    Barbie gets Ken to speak, then gets manual from library, in space suit.
65.30    MPH (tortilla version) vs. Bird / Toys ‘fix’ Buzz but he goes in Spanish Mode.

Act IIb shows a new direction, a clear plan is laid out and a ticking clock speeds up the action. This sequence has a great energy, quite positive for an Act IIb sequence. But this is done deliberately in order to create a stark contrast with the sequence that follows.

Sequence F: Escaping + Woody’s Ordeal & Transformation (15mins)

68.00    MPH (cucumber version) returns. All leave, outsmart Big Baby, who’s on guard.
69.30    Buzz courting Jessie with dance. She is happy to see Woody again.
70.30    Buzz opens the shute. On the other side: Lotso & Co. Phone: “They broke me”.
72.30   L.: “You need to avoid that truck. Join our family again.”
73.30    Woody: what about Daisy? She loved you. Big Baby: “Mama!”
74.00    BB pushes Lotso into garbage container. Alien stuck, Woody helps, is pulled in.
75.00    Too late: toys  in garbage truck. Buzz saves Jessie and is returned to normal.
77.00    Arrival at the dump. Aliens run towards claw but are caught by passing truck.
78.00    Conveyor belt. W.: “Stay together.” Woody and Buzz save Lotso.
79.00    We’re all in this together! Daylight! Not daylight but oven.
79.30    Lotso betrays them. “Where’s your kid now!” All going down.
81.00    All toys holding hands, ready for the end. Woody takes Buzz’ extended hand.
82.00    Light from above. The Claw! Aliens are in control.

This sequence creates instant cinema history. At the Mid Point, Woody chose to stay with his friends. In this Approaching the Inmost Cave stage, the hero’s new belief is tested.

The sequence opens light-heartedly, with Mr Potato Head having changed his disguise from a tortilla to a cucumber. Soon the tone changes, with Big Baby’s creepy reference to The Exorcist and before we know the toys are in the garbage truck with a scene that could be a reference to Star Wars‘ trash compactor scene. This could be mistaken for the story’s Crisis but not for long.

Woody and his friends have lived through all the stages of a toy’s life and they’ve arrived at the dump, where the hero will face the Ordeal, in the Inmost Cave. It will be the story’s lowest point, both literally and figuratively. Woody is on his way to hell (the oven) and before he deserves heaven (Bonnie’s room) he will need to redeem himself.

The moment when the toys are all holding hands, facing death, is hands-down the greatest cinematic moment I have seen in a long time. Woody passes the test glowingly as a transformational hero when he redeems himself for rejecting Buzz at the end of Act One.
The tightness of the screenplay is just astounding at this point. The religious reference is obvious when suddenly the light shines from above, but another layer is added in by the fact that The Claw had always represented the little aliens’ God.

ACT THREE

Sequence G: Road Back + Climax. Woody does the right thing (10mins)

83.00    MPH “Eternally grateful.” Lotso onto front of truck. Keep mouth shut!
84.00    W.: “Maybe attic not great idea.” Andy still packing. On garbage truck (with Sid).
85.00    Home, go back in box ‘Attic’. Toys say goodbye to Woody. “Take care of Andy.”
86.00    Andy back in box ‘College’. Mom emotional. “I wish I could always be with you.”
87.00    Woody writes a note. Andy: “Donate?” Mom: “Whatever you wanna do.”
88.00    Andy drives to Bonnie’s place, introduces toys to Bonnie. “Take good care.”
90.30    Bonnie finds Woody: “My cowboy”. Andy confused & conflicted. (Climax)
91.30    Andy’s decision: “You think you can take care of him for me?”

With a Crisis of the magnitude as we’ve seen here, the movie can’t go wrong anymore. Still, surprises keep piling up.

This final installment in the Toy Story saga is different from the others in that Woody interferes with the world of the humans – with lasting impact – more than once. It works perfectly for a number of reasons. I can think of two:

1. If you see the three movies as three acts in the overall arc, it is normal that the hero is more active in the final act. Having Woody change the world of the humans is a fabulous way of making this happen.

2. The toys’ license to interfere with the world of the humans is set up in the very early scene when they call Andy’s mobile phone.

1. Woody’s final action causes a moment of choice for Andy, similar to Woody’s own journey climax.

Sequence H: A new life for Andy and for the toys.

92.30    Andy: Thanks guys. So long, partner.

93.00    The End.

To conclude, I would like to point out that it is so much easier to analyze a great story – and this is not even a proper analysis, just a rough outline – than it is to write one. The first you can do in a few hours; the last takes a few years. That said, I hope that this analysis helps some people to see the difference between following good writing principles and lazily copying a formula.

Toy Story 3 ticks more boxes than any movie I have seen in recent times, yet it does it in a refreshing way. It also shows that even if you know all the principles, it will still take you years to come up with a story that is worth telling on the big screen.

If you are willing to put in the hard work and understand how an audience’s perception of story works, you can learn how to make your stories work. Just don’t expect to find any shortcuts, anywhere.

Now it’s time to add your comments below!

– Karel Segers

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

by Karel Segers

To my taste – I was not raised on popcorn fare – James Cameron is the only true-bred Hollywood writer-director. His cinema is high concept, superbly entertaining and truly spectacular.

He understands the craft of mainstream cinematic storytelling like no other and like George Lucas back in the 1970’s, he seems to have been listening to Campbell:

And the only myth that is going to be worth thinking about

in the immediate future is one that is talking about the planet,

not the city, not these people, but the planet, and everybody on it.

-Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)

This part of the ‘POWER OF MYTH’ interview with Bill Moyers is effectively anticipating not just stories with a broad environmentalist message but a very specific type of stories like AVATAR and WALL-E.

It seems that the film’s Box Office confirms the audience’s need to see this type of mythology.  The overwhelming and continuing response to the film cannot be just reduced to its technological innovations.

The film is ultimately telling the myth we need to see(*).

Apart from the Gaia principle, AVATAR also expresses an other mythology that has been prominent in science fiction movies of the past decades: Man vs. Machine. Note the parallel between Jake’s Avatar and the Colonel’s exo-skeleton, the helis vs. the banshees etc.

It seems to me that the Hero’s Inner and Outer journey in AVATAR are split almost perfectly in parallel with Jake’s two alter egos: his human identity and his Avatar essence.

Although I’ve seen the film three times now (one viewing ruined by jet lag) I haven’t studied the structure thoroughly yet, as I’ve been pretty much holidaying since its release last month.

Please see the breakdown and notes below as a working structure; I’m keen to see your comments at the bottom of this post.

:: what follows is one big spoiler ::

For a full synopsis in narrative form, check the IMDb. I used this to fill in blanks in my own notes here and there. As usual with these overviews, there really is not much point trying to make sense of the breakdown without having seen the film.

ACT ONE

Sequence A: Pandora Ordinary World & Avatar Call to Adventure (19mins)

00.00    Fox Leader

00.30    Jake VO: Dreams of flying + waking up. “We’re there.”

02.00    Taking over brother’s contract; fresh start in a new world.

03.00    Landing on Pandora // intercut with brother’s cremation.

05.00    Jake in wheelchair: money can fix him. Vehicle with arrows in tyres.

06.30    Colonel: “Not in Kansas anymore.” Safety brief puts Jake’s mind at ease.

07.30    Norm shows Jake the Avatar.

09.00   Norm: “It looks like YOU. This is YOUR Avatar.”    Videolog: for science.

10.00    Grace ‘wrote the book’, she and Norm speak Na’vi.

11.00    Grace: “I need your brother.” She goes to complain to Parker.

12.00    Parker to Grace: Get me some results.

14.00    Jake lacks training. Goes in, to link with his Avatar. Grace going in, too.

16.00    Jake wakes up in Avatar. “Welcome to your new body, Jake!”

(=ENTERS SPECIAL WORLD OF AVATAR)

16.30    Jake walks, doesn’t listen, runs out, has fun. (=INNER JOURNEY CALL)

18.30    Meets Grace’s avatar (“Don’t play with that!”), then goes to sleep.

(=MEETING THE MENTOR)

Sequence B: Refusing Inner Call & Committing to Outer Journey (12mins)

19.00 Wakes up as Jake – “Welcome back”. (=REFUSAL OF THE CALL)

20.00 Introduced to Trudy, she flies the science sorties.

21.00 Col.: Provide intel, get real legs. “Report to me.” Jake: “Hell yes!”

(=CROSSING OUTER JOURNEY THRESHOLD)

23.30 Grace going in, with heli. Jack loves it. Ship lands.

(=SPECIAL WORLD OF PANDORA)

25.30 Jake explores. Lemurs. Helicoradian flowers. (=TESTS)

27.30 Titanotheres. Jake stands his ground. (=TEST)

29.30 Thanator. Grace: “Run, definitely run!” Jumps off waterfall.

(=SEPARATION, CROSSING THE FIRST THRESHOLD?)

ACT TWO (a)

Sequence C: Meeting Pandora Mentor & Omaticaya (17mins)

31.00 Avatar prepares spear, torch. // Neytiri watches, almost shoots.

32.30 Grace & Trudy looking for Avatar. “He won’t make it till morning.”

33.30 Keeps Viperwolfs at bay, but loses torch. Arrows save him.

35.30 Neytiri is saviour: “Strong heart and no fear; but stupid.”

38.00 She is mad at him, because killing animals is sad. “You’re like a baby.”

41.00 Seeds of Sacred tree land on Avatar; Neytiri stays with him.

41.30 They run. Tsu’Tey etc. appears on horses. They take him to the tribe.

44.00 Parents; mother Moat: “Teach him our ways. See if his insanity can be cured.”

47.00 Sleeping in the leaves of the Hometree.

Sequence D: Two conflicting journeys and a deadline (12mins)

48.30 Jake wakes up. -Is the Avatar safe?

49.00 Parker: Find me a carrot that will get them to move. Three months.

51.00 Jake identifies the Omaticaya from photos; Eywa is their God.

52.00 Avatar with Neytiri, on Direhorse. He connects and rides it.

54.00 Jake reports back.

54.30 To the Hallelujah Mountains to set up the science camp.

57.30 Neytiri and her flying Mountain Banshee. Choose your own when ready.

Sequence E: Avatar gets more deeply infiltrated, initiated (17mins)

60.00 Videolog-montage. Neytiri: ‘moron’. Grace: see forest through her eyes.

64.00 Videolog: Deep connection, network of energy, borrowed.

64.30 Jake shoots deer, says prayer. Neytiri: You’re ready. To banshees.

67.30 Under waterfall. Choose, you have one chance. It will try to kill you.

70.00 Fight. Make the bond! Jake falls, then ‘bonds’ & flies.

72.00 Neytiri follows. They fly together.

74.30 Debrief with Grace: The tree of souls. Most sacred place. Lucky swine!

75.30 Attacked by the giant Banshee, the Toruk.

76.30 Neytiri explains: great great grandfather rode the Toruk to unite tribes.

MID SEQUENCE

Sequence F: Jake/Avator reborn – one of the Omaticaya (7mins)

77.30 Everything is backwards now. Out there is true world. In here is the dream.

78.30 Col.doubts resolve. “Terminate mission! Legs back. Done deal. Get it done.”

80.30 “Every person is born twice.” Avatar to earn place among the people – forever.

81.30 Initiation ceremony.

83.00 Neytiri & Jake kiss. With you, Jake. Mated for life.

84.00 Videolog. Jake: “What the hell are you doing, Jake?”

ACT TWO (b)

Sequence G: First betrayal, one hour to negotiate retreat  (12mins)

84.30 Dozers roll in, Neytiri tries to wake him up//Jake eating //Avatar in danger.

86.00 Jack goes in. // Avatar wakes up; jumps on vehicle & kills video cameras.

87.30 Robo-suits go in. Fight. // Colonel ID’s Jake on photo. “Get me a pilot.”

88.00 Na’vi assemble & prepare for attack.

89.00 Neytiri: mated with him. Tsu’tey angry. “He’s not your brother!”

89.30 Avatar: “I am Omaticaya. One of you.”

90.00 Col. goes in to break the link. // Avatar falls. Tsu’tey doesn’t trust him anymore.

90.30 Col. angry. “You let me down.” Grace explains forest biology & pleads.

93.00 Jake’s videolog: “a waste of time. They’ll never leave hometree.”

94.00 Col. & Parker: Minimal casualties. Let’s pull the trigger.

94.30 Trudy: Parker is running the gunships. Jake: Let me try. Parker: One hour.

Sequence H: Diplomacy has failed. All-out war. Ordeal & Death (12mins)

96.00 Avatar pleads with Omaticaya. Neytiri: You’ll never be one. (=APPROACH)

97.30 They’re coming. Military attack on a tree. Na’vi killed.

99.00 Col.: One big tree. Diplomacy has failed. Let’s get this done. Fire!

101.3 Moat frees Jake & Grace: Help us! // Trudy defects. (=REWARD)

103.0 The tree comes down. (=ORDEAL)

105.0 Col.: Good work people!

105.3 Neytiri bemoans dying father. (=ORDEAL) To Avatar: “Never come back!”

106.3 Parker: pull the plug. Jake and Grace’s avatars fall. Na’vi flee.

FADE TO BLACK

ACT THREE

Sequence I: Na’vi armies prepare for battle (12mins)

108.0 Trudy frees Jake, Grace & Norm (=REWARD); they run to the ships.

109.3 Col. notified, runs after them, shoots. They fly off. (=THE ROAD BACK)

111.0 Grace is hurt. Hauling up the lab, fly to the Tree of Souls.

112.0 Jake: The people can help you. Grace: Why would they help us?

113.0 Omaticaya assemble at the Tree of Souls.

114.0 Jake VO: “Take it to a whole new level,” He tames Toruk and flies it.

115.0 Omaticaya praying at the Tree of Souls. Avatar arrives on Toruk.

117.3 Avatar calls on Tsu’Tey: I will fly with you. Praying for Grace.

121.0 Grace dies; with Eywa now. Avatar back to Omaticaya. (=ORDEAL)

122.0 Avatar rallying Omaticaya: Send a message! OUR land! (=RESURRECTION)

124.0 Recruiting more tribes.

Sequence J:  Military prepare and attack (17mins)

125.0 The Colonel rallying his troops: “Fight terror with terror!”

126.3 Jake is briefed by friends on the plans: 0600 tomorrow.

128.0 Avatar prays to Eywa, who protects the balance of life. (=ORDEAL)

129.3 Next day: Helis attack, carrying explosives.

131.0 Na’vi attack: sky and ground. Casualties on both sides.

134.3 Engage all hostiles! Scorpions: pursue and destroy!

136.0 Trudy intervenes: “You’re not the only one with a gun.”

137.0 On the ground: major casualties. Trudy sacrifices herself and ship.

138.3 Avatar can’t reach Tsu-tey, Norm, Trudy.

138.0 Preparing bomb for dropping.

139.3 Avatar to Neytiri: do NOT attack. An order.

140.0 Hold position… Animals come in to the rescue. Eywa’s heard you. (=REWARD)

Sequence K: Final Confrontation (15mins)

142.0 30 seconds to payload drop… Avatar intervenes.

143.0 Bombship falls & explodes; battle moves from the sky to the ground.

145.0 Col. moves towards camp, Neytiri attacks, trapped under killed animal.

146.3 Avatar appears, duels with Colonel. (=RESURRECTION)

148.0 “Hi Sully… How does it feel to betray your own race? Time to wake up.”

149.0 Jake has trouble breathing. Neytiri kills the Col. with bow & arrows.

151.0 Neytiri finds Jake, gives him oxygen. “I see you.”

Sequence L: Aftermath & New Life as a Na’vi

152.0 “The aliens returned to their dying world.”

152.3 Last video log. I don’t want to be late for my own party. Signing off.

154.0 Avatar: Na’vi Ceremony. Reborn as Avatar.

154.3 THE END

______________________________

ACT ONE

The end of Act One is not entirely obvious to me because unlike the Mid Point and Act Two, I don’t believe Cameron used a FADE TO BLACK – or else I’ve missed it.

Here’s my reasoning for putting the first act break where I did in the breakdown.

Jake’s longing is to get new legs. When the Col. says “I look after my own” and he promises Jake new legs in return for intel, this is a CALL TO ADVENTURE for Jake. There is no REFUSAL and he immediately accepts/CROSSES THE THRESHOLD by promising the Colonel he will report back to him (“Hell yes!”).

More important in this story from a structural perspective will be Jake’s INNER JOURNEY of realisation that he belongs in the world of the Na’vi, where he has REAL legs already. The INNER CALL TO ADVENTURE is the sensation of how much he loves his new body and the fact that he can walk and run. However, he REFUSES THE CALL by going back to the base and returning to the military program.

The SEPARATION from Jake’s ORDINARY WORLD happens in a number of stages. You can say that the arrival on Pandora is a first separation, from planet Earth. The first science sortie as an Avatar is the second and the physical separation from his team when he escapes the wild animal is the final one. Symbolic action for this Separation is the jump off the waterfull, a typical ‘Point of No Return’.

Early in the first sequence, we see Jake’s longing and his flaw: he wants his legs back. But he can’t do anything about it as he doesn’t make enough money. His wheelchair is also perceived as his flaw, as becomes clear when one of the military makes the comment “That is just … wrong.” He doesn’t belong in this military world.

Unlike the usual Hero’s Journey, in which we leave the ORDINARY WORLD at the end of Act One, the CALL TO ADVENTURE introduces Jake to a SPECIAL WORLD – that of his Avatar. This structure is similar to movies such as BACK TO THE FUTURE.

Jake meets with Grace, his ORDINARY WORLD MENTOR. However it is not until he meets her in the SPECIAL WORLD that she assumes her role of giving him ‘advice’ (“Don’t play with that!”) and guide him. Later, he will meet his SPECIAL WORLD MENTOR in the shape of Neytiri.

ACT TWO

In the SPECIAL WORLD of Pandora’s jungle, Jake is immediately confronted with a number of tests. The first is the Titanotheres, the second a Thanator. In both cases, he follows the advice from Grace. Once separated, he will need to develop new skills to withstand the Viperwolfs and here he needs the help from his new SPECIAL WORLD MENTOR, Neytiri.

Act IIa is essentially a succession of tests in a positive, optimistic atmosphere, leading to the Mid Sequence that reverses it all. By completing the ceremony and becoming one of the Omaticaya and mating with Neytiri, Jake’s Avatar has now committed to the Na’vi and betrayed the humans.

Immediately after the Mid Sequence, the Avatar proves his allegiance to the Na’vi by attempting to stop the bulldozers on their way to Hometree. Back at the base,  Jake is given a last chance and a deadline (one hour) to negotiate and make the Omaticaya retreat.

But the negotiations fail and the military attack and bring down Hometree, at the cost of many casualties.

This lowest point in the story is the ORDEAL (Crisis) for both Jake and his Avatar. They are arrested; the Avatar by the Omaticaya and Jake by the military. Next they are freed, each by their respective ally: Moat and Judy. This release (REWARD) completes the ORDEAL stage and allows the Hero to set out on the ROAD BACK.

ACT THREE

The last act is not a straightforward battle-confrontation-resolution-aftermath, because the story is explicitly told on two levels.

While the armies prepare for the final confrontation, we see Jake’s Avatar praying to Eywa in what seems a redemptive, spiritual ORDEAL that seals his transformation in the INNER JOURNEY. The REWARD for this follows when later Neytiri says “Eywa has heard you”.

In the OUTER JOURNEY, the story climaxes in the duel with the Colonel and is resolved with the death of the Colonel and the survival of Jake.

The INNER JOURNEY climax lies in the movie’s last sequence, when we see Jake’s last video log about his choice to leave the base forever.

The very last shot before the credits seals this choice, when the Avatar opens his eyes and we know that Jake will continue his life as a Na’vi.

Your comments, please!

______________________________

Could AVATAR have been a more satisfying story in any way? Probably (thanks MM).

Would it have been equally successful? Who knows…

Who cares.

OVERVIEW

ACT I, 3 Sequences (31mins)

ACT IIa, 3 Sequences (46mins)

MID SEQUENCE (7mins)

ACT IIb, 2 Sequences (24mins)

ACT III 3 Sequences (46mins)

Compare this structure with James Cameron’s scriptment of AVATAR.

Total: 12 Sequences (154mins)

(*)If you can think of any other successful films about the same theme, tell us in the comments.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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