The Untouchables has always been my favorite. De Palma turned the script into the most cinematic of Mamet’s writing.

SPOILER WARNINGS (ENTIRE ARTICLE)

Based on the 1959 TV series, this crime drama takes place during the Prohibition era. It follows the autobiographical accounts of Eliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner and fellow cop Jim Malone’s (Sean Connery) as they bring down Al Capone, played by the sly Robert DeNiro.

The opening scene features the quote “You can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.” These were Mamet’s own words, about the tough neighborhood he grew up in.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: The Law of the Land (15mins)

00.00 Titles
02.30 Capone at the barber’s: 1930, Chicago is city at war.
03.00 Guns are necessary but violence is not good business.
05.00 Bomb kills girl at pub that doesn’t buy from Capone. (=Inc.Inc.)

06.30 Ness at home before work. Wife: You’ll make a good 1st impression.
08.00 Ness: Not just a showpiece program. The law of the land.
09.00 Briefing to the flying squad. Stop drinking! Canadian shipment: raid.
10.30 Preparing raid, waiting. Being married. Journo mistaken for gangster.
13.00 Raid fails. Pic with umbrella. (Capone has insider w/ Police =Call to Adventure)

SEQUENCE B: Hiring the Mentor and Allies (20mins)

15.30 Meeting Malone. First rule of law enforcement: go home alive.
19.00 Capone reads the news, satisfied, schadenfreude.
20.30 Dead girl’s mother comes to see him: You will put a stop to them.
22.30 Goes to visit Malone. He refuses the call. Beat cop, how can I help?
24.30 Ness goes home, listen to radio with wife.
25.30 Wallace: no Capone tax return since ’26. Malone comes in
26.30 Malone comes in. Let’s go; these walls have ears.
27.00 Malone: What are you prepared to do? All the way. The Chicago way.
28.30 Malone: Who can you trust. Afaid of rotten apple? Get it off the tree.
29.30 Shooting gallery: best shot? George Stone. Giuseppe Petri.
32.00 Ready to go to work? Four Untouchables leave Treas. Dept., armed.

33.00 Post Office raid. ‘To cross Capone’. Walk through this door. (=PP1/Crossing the Threshold)
34.30 Debrief with cigars. Saint of the Lost Causes. Photo.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C: Defying the enemy (10mins)

35.30 Capone: Baseball speech. Teamwork vs. going alone. Kills gangster.
38.00 Ness home.
39.30 Wallace: All Capone business is legitimate. He has no income.
40.00 John O’Shea. You guys are ‘untouchable’. Is that the thing?
42.00 Nitti: Nice to have a family. Take care nothing happens to them.
42.30 Eliot panics, runs inside.
43.00 Evacuation. / International shipment coming in.
44.30 Wallace: get him on tax evasion. How to link him to the money?

SEQUENCE D: Canadian Border (14mins)

45.30 Briefing at the Canadian border. Take the battle to them.

47.00 Malone’s: Wait and watch. -Are you my tutor? -Yes Sir. That I am.
49.00 Action on the bridge. Watching. Malone: Shoot to kill. Stone: Yes.
50.30 On horses. Early shot. Going in.
53.00 Malone captures gangster with paperwork. Wallace shows courage.
54.00 Ness kills gangster in self-defense. Malone: You rather it was you?
56.00 Questioning prisoner. Wallace has books. Prisoner doesn’t talk.

58.00 Malone shoots body. Mountie objects. Ness: Not from Chicago. (=Mid Point)

SEQUENCE E: Reversal – Touchables (8mins)

59.00 Capone: I want him dead.
59.30 At home. -Are you careful? -As mice. “The man who got Al Capone.”
60.30 Subpoena. Gangster in elevator w/ Wallace. D.I.: Nitti operates lift.
62.00 Ness & Malone: Nice to be married. -If you can stand the pain. Shots.
62.30 Elevator covered in blood: “Touchables.”
65.00 Chief Dorsett: Better not to get involved.

66.00 Ness to Capone’s hotel: Confrontation on the stairs.

SEQUENCE F: Sacrifices (15mins)

67.00 Regrouping. DA drops case without witness. Malone: stall the guy.
70.30 Bookkeeper will be going out of town.
71.00 Malone: need bookkeeper. Chief Dorsett: Dead man talking. Fight.
73.30 Ness stalls the DA.
74.00 Malone calls Stone: my place rightaway. Know where Payne is.
74.30 Capone: Somebody messes with me? I’m gonna mess with him.
75.30 D.I.: Nitti at Malone’s. Malone chases other man. Shot by Nitti.
79.00 Malone dying // Capone at Opera.

80.00 Ness at Malone’s. Train tables. -What are you prepared to do? (PP2/Ordeal)

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G: The Train Station Steps (10mins)

82.30 Ness & Stone. Train leaving at 12.05h. We’ll be there.
83.00 11.55h Waiting. Woman with pram.
87.30 Ness helps woman. Gangsters appear.
88.30 Shot. Pram goes down. Shootout.

90.30 Mexican standoff. Stone takes out Payne’s guard.

SEQUENCE H: Is that Justice? (15mins)

92.00 Court: Payne admits disbursements to Capone. Nitti has gun.
95.00 Taking Nitti outside. Shoots at cop and runs.

97.00 Chase onto roof. Nitti provokes, Ness pushes. Nitti falls.
102.3 Stone gives Ness list of bribed jury members.
103.0 Judge looks at list. No evidence. Ness talks to judge in private. (=Climax/Resurrection)
104.3 Judge swaps juries. Capone objects. Judge overrules.

105.0 Capone’s lawyer: guilty. Never stop fighting till the fight is done.

Aftermath (4mins)

107.3 Newspaper clippings: “So much violence”.
109.3 Stone gives Ness Malone’s key. -He’d have wanted a cop to have it.
110.3 Journo: Going to repeal prohibition? Ness: Then I’ll have a drink.
111.3 The End.

When I find the time, I will elaborate on the Key Turning Points.

Meanwhile, please give me your feedback in the comments as I’m in two minds about the Inciting Incident / Call to Adventure. If the bomb explosion is the Inciting Incident, technically the mother of the child would be the Herald, calling Ness to his journey. On the other hand, it’s really when Ness realises the police is not to be trusted that he reverts to his Mentor for advice, which will lead him to the journey.

I know all of this is academic and the first act works a treat because it’s clear the odds are stacking up against Ness in a big way; his world is not as rosy and controllable as he thought it were.

The device of the photographs to emphasise important moments lures me into thinking these are really the key turning points. In this case, the Inciting Incident and the Call to Adventure are one and the same: the moment Ness realises he’s looking like a fool with that umbrella and he needs to do something about it.

Your feedback, please!

(with thanks to Solmaaz Yazdiha)

See also:

• The Untouchables – The Mid Point(s)
• The Untouchables – Hiring the Mentor
  

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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by Karel Segers

I still believe it is a wonderful independent film, well-structured and beautifully written. Usually I am not a fan of mannered dialogue but here, this stylistic trademark is delivered really well by Juno’s strong cast.

Update 1 May 2012: Following some good suggestions from readers, I have changed the Inciting Incident from Bleeker’s line “Do whatever you think is right” to what it is now. Thank you all for the comments and suggestions!

ACT ONE

Sequence A: One doodle that can’t be undid.

00.30 “AUTUM” Juno drinks juice. “It started with a chair.”
01.00 Flashback to the conception.
01.30 Opening Titles.
04.00 Third urine pregnancy test, Juno still won’t accept result.
05.00 There’s that pink “+” sign again.
05.30 Juno hangs a a candy noose off a tree, then eats it.
06.30 Juno calls best friend Leah to tell her. Disbelief. “Lunch baby?”
07.30 Juno with Leah, trying to figure out what to do.
08.30 FlashBack to how it started: Spanish Class
09.00 Bleeker getting ready to run.
09.30 Juno with Bleeker: Do whatever you think is right.
11.00 At school with Bleeker: they seem a pretty good match.
13.30 Juno calls for abortion info.
14.30 Juno VO about her past, mother and stepmum Bren.
16.00 Su-Chin: “All babies want to get borned”.

Sequence B: Crisis of conscience.

17.00 At WOMEN NOW: form to complete, free condom offered.
18.30 Juno waits, gets an anxiety attack and leaves.
19.00 With Leah: considering to adopt it out.
20.00 Reading adoption ads in the park: Mark & Vanessa sound good.
21.00 Bleeker at home, his mother doesn’t like Juno.
22.00 Juno tells her parents about the problem and her adoption plan.

25.00 Dad: Not ready to be a Pop-Pop. Mum: You know it wasn’t his idea.

ACT TWO

Sequence C: Mark and Vanessa Lohring.

26.00 Driving there with dad.
27.00 Meeting Mark, who is cool & Vanessa who is highly strung.
28.00 Decision for a closed adoption. Mark isn’t too excited.
31.00 Juno, on the way to the toilet, checks out the house.
32.00 Juno bumps into Mark, they bond over a Les Paul guitar & music.
33.30 Vanessa goes upstairs when she hears Mark singing: reprimands him.
34.30 Vanessa is insecure but Juno is 104% sure she will go ahead.

Sequence D: Will Vanessa be a good mum?

36.00 WINTER – Bleek is running & questioned about stuff by classmate.
36.30 Bleek offers Juno to skip his movie party and join for the ultrasound.
37.30 Ultrasound nurse insults Juno, Bren retorts fiercely.
40.00 Juno visits Mark to show scans, they bond.
43.00 J. & M. listen to Sonic Youth, watch horror, talk about baby’s name.
46.30 Vanessa shows lots of baby stuff, mentions a ‘cold feet’ experience.
48.00 Bren thinks Juno has crossed a boundary by dropping by at M. & V.’s.
49.30 Visiting Bleeker; he plans for the future, wants to get back together.
52.30 POV: Mark & Vanessa have different views about preparations.

54.00 At the mall: Juno & Leah see Vanessa, who seems a good future mum.
55.00 They meet Vanessa, who feels the baby kick.

Sequence E: Will Mark be a (good) father?

57.00 “SPRING” Bleeker is running, Bren is sewing stretch pants for Juno.
58.00 Calling Mark, they chat and bond over music and learning.
58.30 Leah tells about Bleeker & Katrina for prom. Juno doesn’t believe it.
60.00 Juno argues with Bleeker over Katrina.
63.00 Putting on lipstick, to Mark: he shows pregnant superhero cartoon.
63.30 Mark & Juno dance. M. says he’s leaving V. Juno is in shock.
67.00 Vanessa arrives, asks what’s wrong; Mark admits he has cold feet.

70.00 Juno drives off, pulls over, cries.
72.00 Bleekers plays the guitar // Juno writes a note.
72.30 Mark & Vanessa talk about divorce and lawyers.
73.30 Juno delivers her note to Mark & Vanessa.

74.30 Juno asks her dad about true love and happiness. He gives advice.

ACT THREE

Sequence F: I’m still in.

77.30 “Tic-tac-o-holic”. Mysterious delivery at night.
78.00 Bleeker finds tictacs. Juno visits him on the running track. Kisses him.
80.30 Water brakes.
81.00 Contractions, Juno begs for ‘spinal tap’.
81.30 Birth.
82.00 Bleeker running.
82.30 Juno with dad in hospital: You’ll be back – on your terms!
83.00 Bleeker visits, lies with Juno.
84.00 Vanessa visits to see the baby.
85.00 The note to Vanessa: “If you’re still in, I’m still in”.

Sequence G: Bleeker and Juno

85.30 SUMMER – Juno on bike, VO about Bleeker as a top boyfriend.
86.30 Playing the guitar together.

INCITING INCIDENT

Juno’s realisation of her pregnancy seems a very early Inciting Incident. Because of the repeated urine tests, it almost passes as a ‘normal life’ situation for this story. Why then IS it the Inciting Incident? Because Juno MUST act. Her life has changed irreversibly and she’s got to do something about it.

Twenty minutes of screen time pass between Juno’s realisation and the end of Act One. Why does this work? Possibly because of the sequential structure.

The first sequence is much less about the realisation of being pregnant than it is about the question ‘who is going to help me’? Until Bleeker says “Do whatever you think is right”, she is still trying to get the solution from others. After this, she knows she will have to come up with the answer.

What follows is still a 15mins long ‘think-think’ sequence. This works fabulously, because it leaves us all with the nagging moral question “what would I do?”. Because of the depth of the dilemma, it takes a certain amount of time for our heroine to properly consider these options.

Once she has decided, she puts her plan to her parents and with their blessing, Juno has an objective for Act Two.

MID POINT

While Juno’s Outer Objective is about responsibly carrying the baby, the strongest Inner Journeys are really Vanessa and Mark’s. Their behaviours display flaws that may impact on their parenthood: Vanessa acts highly strung and Mark appears strangely blasé about it all. Act IIa asks “is Vanessa a suitable mother?” and Act IIb gradually shows Mark to be unfit as a father.

Although Mark and Vanessa’s journeys are gradual and they evolve throughout Act Two, the shopping mall sequence / mid point is a powerful connection point for two reasons: 1) for Juno it answers the question whether Vanessa is really suitable to raise her child and 2) it will give Juno the strength to proceed once Mark bails out.

CRISIS/REWARD

The end of Act Two usually consists of two parts: the down part (Mark bailing out) and an up part (Dad offering hope). In this film it is executed in an extraordinary way as we will learn that Juno had made up her mind before getting her dad’s advice. While we are watching the film it seems as if she finds the strength from this conversation. When we finally get to see Juno’s note to Vanessa “If you’re still in, I’m still in”, we learn that the Act Two of her Inner Journey had completed before we saw it. This is consistent with the principle that the hero usually only gets ahead of the audience towards the second half of the movie.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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The ‘setup’ is often a complete sequence in which we see the ‘Ordinary World’, the protagonist’s ‘normal life’, an area of the story that by its name and nature risks to be a dull stretch. We see the life of the main character before the overwhelming event that marks the real start of story.

For the solution, we go back to a lesson from Alfred Hitchcock.

Remember the difference between surprise and suspense? Surprise is when a bomb suddenly explodes. Suspense is when we know there is a bomb, and it can explode any moment.

The Inciting Incident is our first story explosion.

How do we make our audience hang in there until it explodes? By foreshadowing the Inciting Incident. By creating anticipation.

Create strong anticipation during the story setup by foreshadowing the Inciting Incident.

DIE HARD: While John McClane argues with his ex, we see bad guy Gruber et al. preparing their actions. Worse is yet to come for John.
JAWS: Swimmer Chrissie is crab meat by the time we meet with hero Chief Brody. We know the reported ‘missing person’ won’t be seen again.
TOUCH OF EVIL: In the classic opening shot we see a bomb planted on a car, it ends on the explosion. This marks Vargas’ (Heston) call to action.
OMAGH: Terrorists from the Real IRA plant the bomb that will later cause carnage in the Northern Irish town, and kill the hero’s son.
E.T.: In the opening scene, an alien is left behind on earth, 12mins later it will disturb the life of little Elliott.
THE UNTOUCHABLES: Capone’s hitmen bomb a pub and kill a girl. In the I.I., her mother calls on Eliot Ness to stop the violence.
BLADE RUNNER: At the end of the Voigt-Kampf test and before we meet with Deckard, we see replicant Leon shoot his interviewer.

Note that these examples show the foreshadowing of an Inciting Incident of such a magnitude that it would not just disturb the hero’s life, but anyone’s under the circumstances. In other words, we don’t really need a lot of exposition or setup to understand that this Inciting Incident will stir the pot.

This approach may not work with just any story.

Most stories will still need you to first set up the protagonist’s character before introducing the Inciting Incident, just because the impact of the Inciting Incident is specific to that particular character.

First we are fully immersed in the life and world of Truman Burbank in The Truman Show before the appearance of his father on the street will be seen as a major event.

We need to know the character – and flaw – of Stu Sheppard in Phonebooth before we fully get how important it is when some stranger seems to know all those secrets he has been carefully hiding.

Even in most of the seven examples above, between the foreshadowing near the opening of the movie and the actual Inciting Incident, the screenwriters make sure they build on the gravity of the I.I.’s impact:

– in Jaws, Chief Brody is relatively new in Amity so he may only have limited authority when he asks to close the beaches.
– in Touch of Evil we learn that Mr. and Mrs. Vargas are still honeymooning, so Mike is not really prepared to take on a case.
– in Omagh we see how close father and son Gallagher really are, before the son dies in the bomb attack.
– In The Untouchables, the domestic scene at the Ness home shows a dedicated father Eliot, so he is the right person to respond to the distraught mother later on.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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What Aristotle was talking about, in screen story terms we call the inciting incident. Anything before that, he called the prologue, which we know as the setup, the normal life of the protagonist or ordinary world of the hero.

The inciting incident is the first point in the film something happens truly out of the ordinary. It is often a surprising event, both to the audience and the protagonist. At that point it is clear: the story has well and truly started.

After the inciting incident, do we know what the story is about yet? No. For this, we need to wait until the end of Act One, until we understand what the protagonist’s mission, objective or outer desire will be for most of the story.

To be a successful screenwriter you really need to fully understand this first crucial moment in the story. Let’s look at what it means, what others say it does and what essential aspects you need in order to make it work.

One thing is absolutely certain: without a strong inciting incident you will have a hard time getting your audience glued to their seats.

Next: Definitions of Inciting Incident >>

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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It is not enough to know and understand Syd Field’s set of phrases, as some hot shots may only be familiar with McKee. Unfortunately different people have different definitions for the exact same term.

This is my attempt to broadly define the most essential notions, informed by the best known theories, but influenced by the need to make them useful to the screenwriter rather than the analyst. Some theories are great to analyse finished films, but useless when you are stuck in your second draft. I hope that my definitions will help in identifying problems.

I will occasionally add to the list and modify definitions. If you disagree with anything or the explanation is not clear, feel free to flag this to me.

Normal Life

Also: opening, ordinary World, normal life, prologue, Journey Stage One.

Inciting Incident

Also: disturbance, catalyst, beginning

First Act Turning Point

Also: act one turning point, first threshold, first turning point, plot point one.

Mid-Point

Also: mid point reversal, point of no return, mid turning-point

Crisis

Also: ordeal, low point

Second Act Turning Point

Also: plot point two, crossing the 2nd threshold

Climax and Resolution

Sequence

Also: journey stage, block

Plot Point

See: Plot Point

Point of View

See: Point of View

From the above follows:

Act One

Some people will say this is the

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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