The internet is rife with advice of all kinds, and I find it increasingly difficult to locate useful gems. If you’re really critical, you could argue that even the best known and most respected authors such as Robert McKee offer very little in terms of workable advice. I’m talking about techniques that writers can actively apply during the writing process.

Most of what you will find falls in the category of analytical observations – and I have pleaded guilty to the same.

We do need analysis, and critical thinking about how stories play out. But a writer expecting to find practical guides during the actual chore of writing a story will often be sorely disappointed. Not much of this around.

This means that you will need to develop a BS radar when it comes to screenwriting advice. The best way to do this, is always ask “Why?”

I would place the worst kind of screenwriting advice into three separate categories.

The Obvious – and mostly useless

At first sight, these types of screenwriting advice sound perfectly plausible.

• “A high concept story is something that everyone wants to see, no matter who the actors are”. Sound legit, right? Until you question it. How do you know everyone wants to see it? Back to square one. Not a smidgen of useful advice here.
• “Just tell a great story.” I won’t even go there. Just watch my great video.

This type of tips you can easily undress by asking But why? and How does this advice help me today?

The Plain Wrong – and often dangerous

• “Script formatting doesn’t matter, as long as you tell a great story.” This is a variation on the obvious screenwriting advice above, only now with a dangerous sting. Trust me, formatting does matter.
• “The inciting incident must be on page 12.” The alternative goes: “The inciting incident must be at your story’s 10% mark”. These numbers may be correct if you consider the average. However, this means that the majority of films do not have this beat on that particular page or percentage, but higher or lower.
• “Show, don’t tell”. Now, this one must be correct, right? Yes, if you have the budget. Otherwise, you’ll have to put a lot of exposition in dialogue, whether you like it or not.
• “Register all your drafts with the local guild, and always have the registration # on the cover page.” No. Do your research.

Because this type of advice is often factual, just doing some more research may teach you the truth.

The Confusing – and hardly helpful

This is the toughest category of screenwriting advice to debunk, because often, there’s truth in it. Only, it appears not practical when you’re actually writing. I plead guilty to having given this type of tips in the past.

• “The 3-Act Structure is broken. Here’s something better.” A smart writer recently pointed out to me how John Truby attacks the 3-Act Structure, then replaces it with the same using different labels. Challenging existing paradigms is great, but ultimately terminology matters, as we use it to communicate about story. The reality is that you’ll need to speak the language of the person who will decide on the future of your script. Most of them still use the 3-Act Structure, or the Hero’s Journey. Sorry, John.
• “Your story’s halfway point should have a point-of-no-return.” I have never really understood the dramatic value of being closer to your goal than to the departure point. Unless you’re in a road movie, this metaphor can mean a million things. A failed film like Annihilation proves how this approach doesn’t work, which is why I much prefer a Mid Point Reversal. However, be careful: if the executive prefers a point-of-no-return, then call it that (but write it as a reversal anyway).
• “Strong screen drama is a visual expression of our deepest humanity, and it confronts our inner conflicts in a way that makes us question our reason for being.” Some people just love using big words to make it sound as if something matters. And the statement above may be true, but how is this going to help you in writing your flabby first half of Act 2? The advice in this category may sound inspiring, but rarely helps.

Screenwriting Advice – The bottom line

Don’t just accept the words of your favourite guru, even if they sound great. Always ask “why?” and “how does this help me?”

I know what you’re thinking now.

So what about that setting up the goal before the end of Act 1, from the title? Isn’t this sound screenwriting advice? Shouldn’t the goal be set up early, and definitely no later than the first half hour?

Okay, let’s go there.

You’re assuming that the first act should be thirty minutes in length. Why? Because some guru told you? And how does this help you?

Here’s my take – and that of many authors I respect. (If you want a name, I’d say Paul Gulino.)

The first act is over once the goal is established.

Stories are about characters responding to events or change, with a certain action or series of actions. Once the story’s main action or goal is established, in terms of dramatic tension we call this the end of Act 1.

So what this piece of advice above is really saying, is that you have to end Act 1 before the end of Act 1.

Nice one.

-Karel Segers

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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The movie pays off on every possible level. It’s fun, emotional and has tremendous depth.

I have seen it three times, each in a different format, and the story easily withstands multiple viewings.  A few days ago I shared my views on the various technical formats. In short: I’m not overly excited about the whole 3D thing still. It’s just delivered very poorly.

But rejoice! Today we’re talking STORY!!

Yes, friends, Toy Story 3 is formulaic. Much like Toy Story 1 (See Paul Gulino’s excellent analysis in Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach), it follows an 8-Sequence Hero’s Journey structure with a powerful Mid Point Reversal. Still, it is delightfully complex as you can peel layer after layer from a wonderfully crafted script.

Trust me, this level of supremely high quality screenwriting you don’t get very often in cinemas. A team of the best story brains in the world labored over it for years, including one of the finest screenplayers of our generation. The result: the winner of the 2010 Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. I’ll be damned if they don’t win.

I love doing these structural analyses and unfortunately I can’t always justify the time to write my notes with the breakdown. (At the time of this writing, I must apologize for still not having done this for the Gladiator breakdown)

This time, however, I found I had to give you at least something. Toy Story 3 is such an amazing example of successful sequential writing, as well as the pinnacle of Hero’s Journey structure. I know there are a few people out there still resisting the call from this type of structural approach but that’s fine. There’s two kinds of people in this world — Winners…and Losers. (LOL)

— massive spoilers ahead —

W.: Woody
B.: Buzz
MPH.: Mr. Potato Head
J.: Jessie
L.: Lotso
BB: Big Baby

ACT ONE

Sequence A: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” (15mins)

00.00    Pixar leaders + Title
01.00    W. vs. One-Eyed Bart & Betty (Mr. & Mrs. PH), aliens & Evil Dr. Pork Chop (Hamm)
05.00    Montage of video: Andy plays with toys as he grows up. “Our frienship will never die…”

06.15    A. about to leave for college.  Toys in chest, executing plan to get A.’s attention.
07.30    Calling Andy’s mobile – plan fails as he ignores the toys.
08.00    Staff meeting. Woody: “Andy is gonna put us in the attic.” Toy soldiers give up & leave.
10.00    Woody: “Andy is gonna take care of us. I guarantee it.” Looks at old photo.
11.00    Buzz: “Guarantee it? … At least we’ll all be together.”
13.00    Andy opens chest, looks at toys, puts them in garbage bag. Woody & Buzz separated.

14.00    Andy goes to attic, Molly interrupts. Attic closes. Mom takes bag for garbage.

This is the movie’s first sequence climax. It holds both the Inciting Incident (toys to garbage) and Woody’s Call to Adventure (he witnesses the I.I.). He must act. Note that the ensuing action is not about staying together (a Call he is refusing as he’s accepted Andy’s choice to take Woody with him to college), but rather about saving his friends from the garbage truck, so they can go to the attic.

Sequence B: Woody saving friends, caught in car to daycare. (14mins)

15.00    Think, think, think! Dog Buster is no help: fat & old. Garbage truck getting closer.
16.30    Toys escape under. box J.: “I know what to do!” All in car in box to Sunnyside.
17.30    Woody: Mistake! Car door closes, drives off. W.: “You’ll be begging to go home!”
19.00    Looking through handle hole: Butterfly room. Kids playing peacefully with toys.

20.30    Warmly welcomed by other toys. Lotso: Playing all day. No owners, no heartbreak.
22.30    Ken’s Dreamhouse: Barbie in love with Ken. Lotso gives the toys a tour.
26.00    W.: “We need to go home.!” Toys try to convince him, unsuccessfully.
27.30    Buzz: “This is it? After all we’ve been through?” Extends hand to Woody. Woody refuses.

Woody’s final decision to pursue his overall goal (and initial plan) for this movie isn’t formulated until here: to return to Andy and be there for him when he goes to college. His refusal to accept Buzz’ hand is the movie’s second sequence climax and a reminder of the Inner Journey: he must learn to let go of the past and keep his loyalty to his friends, i.e. Stay Together.

Ironically, after Andy’s decision to separate Woody from his friends (in Sequence A) has been overturned, now the choice is put to Woody. He can stay together with them if he wants, but he chooses not to.

You might want to see the closing of the car door as the end of Act One, as that’s where the toys are leaving their Ordinary World. This is not a deliberate action by Woody, though.

He doesn’t voluntarily enter Sunnyside and the toys being together at that point is still too much of an Ordinary World, offering our hero a sense of comfort. The real separation only happens when Woody deliberately chooses to leave. It feels consistent with the way the sequence is built dramatically. Woody refusing Buzz’ extended hand is a tremendously powerful setup for the heart-wrenching Crisis scene, in which he will accept Buzz’ hand.

ACT TWO

Sequence C: Woody escapes. Toys see the less sunny side. (12mins)

28.30    Woody escapes: Corridor – Bathroom – Roof – Glider – Tree. Bonnie finds him.
31.00    Rough playtime. Buzz sees the Butterfly Room – contrast of peace.
33.00    Meeting Bonnie’s toys: heaven for Andy. Being played with & being loved.
35.00    Aftermath. Toys in Caterpillar Room lick their wounds. Moving to Butterfly Room!

36.00    We’re trapped! Open door.  Buzz follows Twitch and Chunk into candy dispenser.
38.30    Buzz overhears gamblers: “Lucky if they last a week.” B. Caught by Big Baby. To library!

Woody’s escape from Sunnyside is a fun ‘threshold sequence’, in which he travels and overcomes barriers to leave the world of Sunnyside.

If you want, you can see Toy Story 3 as a metaphorical tale about the end of (a toy’s) life.

Throughout the film you may recognize symbols of life and death, echoing religious notions of heaven, hell and purgatory. When Bonnie plays with Woody and throws him gently in the air, the image goes in slow motion, showing an ecstatic Woody. This is clearly heaven to him: being played with and being loved. It is no coincidence that this is where Woody will return after he narrowly escapes a burning hell by taking Buzz’ hand, a symbolic repentance.

The sequence ends on a strong climax with Buzz being in jeopardy.

Sequence D: Mid Point Reversal: Truth behind Sunnyside. (12mins)

40.00    Woody tries to leave Bonnie’s place. Toys protest.
40.30    Buzz questioned, Lotso: “We got a keeper!” Buzz reset to Demo mode.
43.00    Mrs. PH’s ‘other eye’ sees A. & Mom. “Woody was telling the truth! We gotta go home!”
44.00    Lotso: “You’re Not Going Anywhere. Lock ’em up!” Buzz ‘disables’ them.
47.30    W. hears Story of Daisy, Chuckles, Lotso and Big Baby.  W: “But… my friends are there!”

Like clockwork, after four of the eight sequences and halfway the movie, the tables are turned.

The Mid Sequence is only the second sequence of Act Two but it falls right in the middle of the story (40mins preceding it, 40mins following it), because Act One is significantly longer than Act Three.

Reversal #1: We have learned that Sunnyside is a very dark place to be, contrary to the first impression the toys had upon arrival.
Reversal #2: As a result of #1, Woody has changed his beliefs about staying with Andy vs. staying together with his friends. (Inner Journey)
Reversal #3: Consistent with the progress in his Inner Journey, Woody changes his Outer Journey approach and in stead of returning to Andy’s place, he will return to Sunnyside and help his friends.

ACT TWO-b

Sequence E: Woody back. Getting out tonight! (16mins)

52.00    Lotso: “Rise and shine, campers! Playdate with destiny.” More rough playtime.
53.30    Woody goes back in. Phone gives W. a 4-pronged strategy: “Get rid of that monkey.”

56.30    W. back with toys: “We’re busting out of here. Tonight!” Explains plan to toys.
58.00    Executing the plan: MPH gone – distraction manoeuvre. Woody & Slinky get out.
59.00    MPH escapes from the Box w/ Tortilla. / Woody immobilizes monkey.
60.30    Barbie: “Ken, would you model a few outfits for me?”
61.00    Monkey mummified – Woody finds the key. / Hamm and Rex catch Buzz under box.
63.00    Barbie: no more games, Ken. / Mr. Potato Head: coast clear, toys come out.
64.30    Barbie gets Ken to speak, then gets manual from library, in space suit.
65.30    MPH (tortilla version) vs. Bird / Toys ‘fix’ Buzz but he goes in Spanish Mode.

Act IIb shows a new direction, a clear plan is laid out and a ticking clock speeds up the action. This sequence has a great energy, quite positive for an Act IIb sequence. But this is done deliberately in order to create a stark contrast with the sequence that follows.

Sequence F: Escaping + Woody’s Ordeal & Transformation (15mins)

68.00    MPH (cucumber version) returns. All leave, outsmart Big Baby, who’s on guard.
69.30    Buzz courting Jessie with dance. She is happy to see Woody again.
70.30    Buzz opens the shute. On the other side: Lotso & Co. Phone: “They broke me”.
72.30   L.: “You need to avoid that truck. Join our family again.”
73.30    Woody: what about Daisy? She loved you. Big Baby: “Mama!”
74.00    BB pushes Lotso into garbage container. Alien stuck, Woody helps, is pulled in.
75.00    Too late: toys  in garbage truck. Buzz saves Jessie and is returned to normal.
77.00    Arrival at the dump. Aliens run towards claw but are caught by passing truck.
78.00    Conveyor belt. W.: “Stay together.” Woody and Buzz save Lotso.
79.00    We’re all in this together! Daylight! Not daylight but oven.
79.30    Lotso betrays them. “Where’s your kid now!” All going down.
81.00    All toys holding hands, ready for the end. Woody takes Buzz’ extended hand.
82.00    Light from above. The Claw! Aliens are in control.

This sequence creates instant cinema history. At the Mid Point, Woody chose to stay with his friends. In this Approaching the Inmost Cave stage, the hero’s new belief is tested.

The sequence opens light-heartedly, with Mr Potato Head having changed his disguise from a tortilla to a cucumber. Soon the tone changes, with Big Baby’s creepy reference to The Exorcist and before we know the toys are in the garbage truck with a scene that could be a reference to Star Wars‘ trash compactor scene. This could be mistaken for the story’s Crisis but not for long.

Woody and his friends have lived through all the stages of a toy’s life and they’ve arrived at the dump, where the hero will face the Ordeal, in the Inmost Cave. It will be the story’s lowest point, both literally and figuratively. Woody is on his way to hell (the oven) and before he deserves heaven (Bonnie’s room) he will need to redeem himself.

The moment when the toys are all holding hands, facing death, is hands-down the greatest cinematic moment I have seen in a long time. Woody passes the test glowingly as a transformational hero when he redeems himself for rejecting Buzz at the end of Act One.
The tightness of the screenplay is just astounding at this point. The religious reference is obvious when suddenly the light shines from above, but another layer is added in by the fact that The Claw had always represented the little aliens’ God.

ACT THREE

Sequence G: Road Back + Climax. Woody does the right thing (10mins)

83.00    MPH “Eternally grateful.” Lotso onto front of truck. Keep mouth shut!
84.00    W.: “Maybe attic not great idea.” Andy still packing. On garbage truck (with Sid).
85.00    Home, go back in box ‘Attic’. Toys say goodbye to Woody. “Take care of Andy.”
86.00    Andy back in box ‘College’. Mom emotional. “I wish I could always be with you.”
87.00    Woody writes a note. Andy: “Donate?” Mom: “Whatever you wanna do.”
88.00    Andy drives to Bonnie’s place, introduces toys to Bonnie. “Take good care.”
90.30    Bonnie finds Woody: “My cowboy”. Andy confused & conflicted. (Climax)
91.30    Andy’s decision: “You think you can take care of him for me?”

With a Crisis of the magnitude as we’ve seen here, the movie can’t go wrong anymore. Still, surprises keep piling up.

This final installment in the Toy Story saga is different from the others in that Woody interferes with the world of the humans – with lasting impact – more than once. It works perfectly for a number of reasons. I can think of two:

1. If you see the three movies as three acts in the overall arc, it is normal that the hero is more active in the final act. Having Woody change the world of the humans is a fabulous way of making this happen.

2. The toys’ license to interfere with the world of the humans is set up in the very early scene when they call Andy’s mobile phone.

1. Woody’s final action causes a moment of choice for Andy, similar to Woody’s own journey climax.

Sequence H: A new life for Andy and for the toys.

92.30    Andy: Thanks guys. So long, partner.

93.00    The End.

To conclude, I would like to point out that it is so much easier to analyze a great story – and this is not even a proper analysis, just a rough outline – than it is to write one. The first you can do in a few hours; the last takes a few years. That said, I hope that this analysis helps some people to see the difference between following good writing principles and lazily copying a formula.

Toy Story 3 ticks more boxes than any movie I have seen in recent times, yet it does it in a refreshing way. It also shows that even if you know all the principles, it will still take you years to come up with a story that is worth telling on the big screen.

If you are willing to put in the hard work and understand how an audience’s perception of story works, you can learn how to make your stories work. Just don’t expect to find any shortcuts, anywhere.

Now it’s time to add your comments below!

– Karel Segers

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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I had my day planned out and the first of the mark was Billy Mernit.

BILLY MERNIT

Billy has been around for a long time and it shows… in a good way. He developed a fine palette for the genre we were covering: that of romantic comedies.

He was a very affable guy, easy to listen to and was constantly getting the audience involved.

In the brief time available, Billy succinctly described the obvious pattern in RomCom’s: – Boy meets Girl – Boy gets Girl – Boy loses Girl – Boy get Girl back (with the inverse being true as well).

The 6 secrets of Rom Com are as stated by Billy:

1. Write the Chemistry – The inner journeys should oppose or duel with each other
2. Expand the Genre – Move it from the bedroom to the jungle or disguise it within another Genre (Romancing the Stone, Wall-E) etc
3. Be Cinematic – Make it visual… Show the concepts don’t just speak them.
4. Make sure the concept is a ‘high concept’ to get noticed, e.g. 50 First Dates
5. Tweak the Formula – Create and execution gag e.g. 500 days of Summer
6. Romantic means Sexy and Comedy means funny – Use the characters’ flaws against them in comedic situations. Comedic reversals etc. And maybe show a bit of skin ;)

Another note that stuck out is that a lot of the great comedic moments happen when the private matters of a relationship are made public.

I was tempted to stay for Billy’s second lecture but decided I had to spread the love a little and moved onto:

BOB KOSBERG – SELLING YOUR IDEA TO HOLLYWOOD

Bob was fun. He is an executive at Nash Entertainment, who primarily run reality TV shows. Has worked everywhere and his side gig is taking people’s ideas and pitching them to people.

He was full of funny anecdotes on pitching. Bob has become somewhat of a pitch master from what he said as he rarely walks in the door without 30 ideas to pitch. His basic motto is: “Give up and Sell Out”, which will make people uncomfortable but this is Hollywood and this guy is one of the more generous guys.

Bob was very open to ideas being sent to him and if any grabbed him he assured us that he has always come through with money if he liked your idea and the pitch was successful.

His theme was the same as all the ‘business’ guys at the expo: when it comes to your pitch, you have 15 seconds to give the execs an idea for your story.

If you can get through this 1-2 line 15 second concept pitch, you may be in with a shot. According to these guys if you can’t distill your idea into a 1-2 line ‘pitch’ then you are in trouble as they won’t even read the script…

LINDA SEGER – Structuring Scenes and Scene Sequences

This was a tossup… I wasn’t sure as Linda has been around for a while and from what I have read since her original breakthrough book a few years ago, nothing has really evolved.

Yet, I decided to go.

That was a mistake. Within the first 10 minutes I was finding the best time to leave. The old Turning point systems and complete rigidity made the class very grating.

All of this stuff was dynamite about 15 years ago with Syd Field. Now however, with the likes of Gulino , Hauge, Kaplan, Vogler et al a lot of this simplistic metric stuff is just old hat.

So I ventured out and caught the tail end of Victoria Wisdom’s lecture on “Finding the Right Buyer”: It was very similar to the previous day’s speech which was OK as it was good to refresh it all again.

After Lunch onto:

An Afternoon with STEVE KAPLAN

I decided to clear out my final two sessions and give them up to Steve Kaplan, a story analyst focusing on comedy.

This guy is to Comedy or in the ancient form Commedia Dell’Arte as Vogler is to Campbell and the Hero’s Journey. He had some brilliant insights in his two lectures; Creating and Developing a Comedy Screenplay and The Hidden Tools of Comedy.

Briefly (and by no means doing him justice) I’ll try to cover what his ideas were:

• All great comedies, theatre, film or television involve archetypical characters in a closed environment. (Sadly he went to fast to write them down but Steve will be in Australia in 2010, so go and see him then.)
• All great comedies involve a comic premise and this premise is generally a lie. A good comic premise is something that would never happen in real life. However, comedies will fail if they lie more than once.
• All comedies have character determine the structure. This makes sense even to a structure nut like me as comedy involves characters reacting to situations to get their want or desire. How they fail is the comedy.
• All (well, 95% of) comedies revolve around a story with an ordinary guy or gal struggling against insurmountable odds and they lack the tools to win, but they never giving up hope.

The hidden tools of Comedy

These are the different situations a writer can put a character in to achieve comedy.

Steve did a great gag with some volunteers, that proved that funny is very different to comedy.

A ‘comic’ event is always going to be comical because of the situation a character is in and involving what they hope to achieve.

A ‘funny’ event is a forced, generally uncharacteristic action of the character, that the writer inserts. They, subjectively, deem as it funny and results in is forcing the character out of their natural story choices. While they may get some laughs not everyone will and he proved this with a great gag he played on some audience members and the movies he referenced.

So if Comic events are situations how do you create them?

Referring back to the title the following are the hidden tools of comedy as stated by Steve Kaplan:

• Winning – The idea that comedy/story gives your character the permission to win. (note they may not necessarily win)
• Metaphorical Relationship – E.g. the Odd Couple – Instead of two guys acting as friends they act as a married couple.
• Non-Hero – A character who lacks all the required tools to win but who will manage to win nonetheless.
• Positive Action – The idea that every action is positive for the character and they expect it to work (selfish actions)
• Active Emotion – The act of trying to gain the want of the character in the scene in the face of all obstacles.
• Straight Line/Navy Line – One character struggles against a problem and another is creating/perpetuating the problem.

This is all very brief. As Steve Kaplan doesn’t have a book out that I am aware of, I suggest you look him up and book in for his session in June in Australia.

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of his regarding drama and comedy:

“A Drama helps us dream about what and who we should be – Comedy makes us deal with who we are”

The Story Department now has Steve’s full article on The Hidden Tools of Comedy online here.

DAY 3

The final day and the Pitch Fest was still pumping away. A few writers told me they had been successful – others not – so it IS possible to come here and achieve something.

Before I go into the Day 3 breakdown just an inside word for anyone planning to come and pitch.

You need 3 things:

1. A 60 second (or less) pitch: read Michael Hauge’s book.
2. A 1-sheet: A printed 3 paragraph synopsis to give out straight away
3. A backup pitch: if you’re successful, you might as well ride the wave

Also, know your antecedents: which similar film is playing now or will be opening next year. Go to IMDb etc. Find out what the next or just released successful film in your genre was and see if it is similar. NEVER mention it if it is like a flop though ;)

PAUL GULINO

Paul is great. He is an associate professor at Chapman Uni in the states and has a great take on the sequence structure in acts and good practical ways to develop them.

He discussed an important section of his book SCREENWRITING: THE SEQUENCE APPROACH, called “The 4 Tools of anticipation”, about the ways a screenwriter can hold an audience’s attention:

1. Telegraphing: Deadlines & Appointments (character has to go somewhere)
2. Dangling Cause: Cause and Effect but withholding the effect.
3. Dramatic Irony: The Audience knows more than the characters (bomb under the table etc.)
4. Dramatic Tension: the character is having trouble achieving a goal

Paul also spoke about his theory on sequences, in particular the 8 Sequence structure: Act 1 has generally two major sequences, Act 2 has around 4 sequences and Act 3 has 2 sequences.

The fact that sequences run around the 8-10min mark has to do with how old films were made with 1,000 foot reels and how in theatres at the end of each reel the film would stop and music play while they changed the reel.

Using Toy Story and Being John Malkovich as examples, he broke them down describing the different dramatic tools used to keep the audience watching and in turn the reader turning pages.

MICHAEL HAUGE

It was a solid look at the opening of Million Dollar Baby, and as always Hauge delivered it well.

4 major objectives in the opening 10 pages

1. Draw Reader into the Story with vivid description and an introduction of the hero
2. Create Empathy for the Hero, using likability, comedy, sympathy, jeopardy, and knowledge/power.
3. Set the Tone of the film: Comedy, Thriller, Drama etc. and don’t confuse the genre.
4. Continually elicit emotion.

He also discussed the 6 most common openings of a script:

1. Everyday Hero Intro: Living in a normal ordinary world
2. Action Hero Opening: James Bond etc.
3. Outside action opening: Not involving the hero, we see an event that will affect the hero.
4. Prologue Opening: Event from earlier in the hero’s life, which is relevant to the wound.
5. Bookend Opening: Using a narrator, usually involves a flashback. (Princess Bride)
6. Mid Point Flash-forward: Open with the midpoint or Ordeal, then show what happened before. (Maverick, MI3)

WILLIAM GOLDMAN AND JOHN CLEESE

This was the last hurrah and a fitting finish to the seminar. The guys spoke about the current despair in the industry and some old war stories. Everyone had a good laugh…nothing major…a nice relaxed finish.

That’s it!

I hope I was clear and concise for everyone who read this and if you need any more info regarding the event, the speakers or the sessions just comment below.

Keep writing and Support the Story Department!

Thanks,

James.

James Nicholas is producing a PC game to be launched in 2012 for Games Lab.

He has worked in film and TV for the last 10 years, assisting George Miller during development and production of Mad Max: Fury Road and Happy Feet and acting as an Assistant Director on such films as Stealth, Ghost Rider, Superman and Kokoda as well as various commercials.

James is also a Monomyth expert, which makes him a perfect contributor for the Story Department.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Producer/scribe James Nicholas flew from Sydney to L.A. to attend the Screenwriting Expo. He generously reports back about his brush with the Gurus and any lesser Gods.

Upon entering the convention centre, the air is filled with anticipation as the budding writers fill the smallish and rather cramped Wilshire Grand meeting area. One can’t help but notice the flashes of desperation…

SCREENWRITING PITCH FEST

‘Do or die’ screenwriters sign up for the “Pitch Fest”, where a writer can pay $25 for five minutes face time with various production companies and agencies, ranging from the major studios right down to the bit players.

With a ‘first in first served’ rule, the majors were quickly filled. Looks like a busy weekend for the assistant to the assistant of the assistant VP of development.

For those not pitching though (like me), we had a plethora of speakers and sessions to choose from. With many session overlaps, some shrewd choices had to be made on how to plan the day.

LINDA HEYS

I took the gamble and stuck with my country woman, a Story Consultant named Linda Heys. She had just finished an 8 week stint at Pixar helping refine their story structures. With this pedigree and experience I had high hopes – and wasn’t disappointed.

Linda visualised a Hero’s Diamond to display the inner journey of the character and how it ties to the outer journey. For those familiar with Vogler et al, it was a good representation.

MICHAEL HAUGE

Next up, Michael Hague delivered his well versed and well rehearsed “Sell your story in 60 seconds”. Many of the writers started to shift in their seat, secretly hoping they had one more day to refine their pitches. For those who missed it: Michael stayed close to the book and the DVD accompaniment.

A quick lunch break and on to Dara Marks.

DARA MARKS

Dara is gaining some attraction (according to her website anyway) within the industry so I thought it would be remiss of me not to check her out. Her theory of the “Fatal Flaw” and the emotional inner journey made some sense. Her idea of the outer journey obstacles and how it could be applied successfully – especially through the mono myth – didn’t deliver. It was a weird meld of McKee and old school Syd Field. The heroic outer journey structure was brushed over and her repeated use of “use your intuition” made me feel like I was back in Australia.

I decided the Round 2 of Dara would be a little too much.

I needed to wake up. Enter…

KARL IGLESIAS

The topic of Karl’s session read “How to elicit emotion in your concept”. He offered a great lecture, with sharp answers on what works and what doesn’t. A refreshing change from Dara’s musings. I was wide awake again.

Finally the piece de resistance.

VICTORIA WISDOM

To a packed house, Victoria Wisdom gave all the writer’s in the room a well needed reality check. As a working developer and previous agent, she is – and remains – well connected in the industry and had some hard facts forthe budding writers in the audience.

Her basic premise was that writers to be successful and especially professional need to follow the market, know the demographic, know the current ‘it’ genres, retool old ideas, break the mould.

She gave notes on all sorts of insider tricks to getting your, script seen hence the title of the session “Getting your script seen”.

This was a great look at the reality of the business side of not only selling a script but selling the screenwriter.

All round a good first day.

James.

Are you attending the Screenwriting Expo? Why not give us your experience in the comments! Thank you.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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