Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

“How the hell would I know? I’ve got a sheet over my head”

In Snow White and the Huntsman and the Witch and the Fetching Wardrobe, an evil queen steals the plots of various other fantasy tales and bungs them into the Tolkienator to produce this fairytale mash-up.

Snow White is a princess who, having survived a never-ending prologue about how she ended up with a witch, Ravenna, for a stepmum, is then locked in a tower for several years. She doesn’t spend the time developing an interesting personality, but does finally escape into the Dark Wood. Ravenna hires a huntsman (not of the spider variety) to track her down, despite his bad Scottish accent. He switches sides. Various skirmishes ensue for the next hour or so. Snowy encounters eight dwarves (hmm, do you think they’ll all make it?).

Overlong, derivative and with some truly bland dialogue, this does offer a few good visual effects. But it all feels a bit retrodden.

5/10

Released June 21, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chrome was nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.