by Danny Manus
(Continued from Part 1)

3. It defines elevated storytelling.

And that’s not easy to do with romance or romantic dramas. If you’ve ever seen a Nicholas Sparks novel brought to life on screen, they all have strong emotional hooks. They all have an internal dilemma and external conflict that rips the lovers apart only so they can find a way to come back together. But almost none of them feel realistic or relatable. His books explore life-threatening illnesses and death. They are female fantasies underlining the power of true love. None of them are overly intelligent or complex. They connect on an emotional level but that’s about it. The beauty of Her is that it connects on an emotional level AND a cerebral one. It makes you feel, it makes you cry, and it makes you think at the same time.

Hollywood always says it wants ELEVATED material. This is a romantic drama on an elevated level. Elevated means there is something smarter and deeper about the story than the normal, down-the-middle boy meets girl story. And Her delivers on that in spades.

4. It tells a complete love story.

It’s boy meets girl (ish), but in a whole new way. But the beauty of the structure of the story is that we really get to experience their whole relationship. I don’t want to give anything away about how the film ends, but every time you think the story can end, Spike Jonze finds a believable and relatable way to throw another plot twist into the mix that progress the arcs of both characters and raises the stakes. And they all feel like REAL twists that would plague any real-world human relationship which is what makes it feel so genuine.

It makes you feel, it makes you cry, and it makes you think at the same time.

It doesn’t take much to believe that a person can fall in love with a voice on a computer. So once you swallow that premise, the rest is a rollercoaster ride of emotion from beginning to end that probably feels like a love story you’ve experienced. Or maybe that’s just me. It uses all the tropes of romantic drama – loss, death, cheating, conflict, temptation, realization, growth, change, love and sex – but there’s only one physical person involved. It’s a focused story, but a complete story. And that’s what you should be trying to do with your scripts.

5. It gives its actors immense room to play, react, feel and emote.

Movies don’t get made without stars these days, and to get stars you need characters that stand out and give them something to do. A new situation or mindset for them to explore emotionally. And too many writers focus on the action of what the characters do in the scene and not enough on the REACTION the actors get to portray in their quiet or reflective moments. And all of the actors in this film have those moments and play them perfectly.

And that’s what you should be trying to do with your scripts.

Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams (who looks more like Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich than the glam roles she usually plays), Olivia Wilde, Rooney Mara, Chris Pratt and especially Scarlett Johansson are all pitch perfect (and listen for the greatest voice over cameo ever by Kristen Wiig).

The fact that Scarlett Johansson can’t be nominated for an Academy Award is a damn shame. Personally, I’ve never been a big Joaquin Phoenix fan. I find him intense and creepy to watch but not in a fun way (like Daniel Day Lewis). But the man knows how to genuinely emote on screen like very few others can. He’s so open and able to commit to the words, it’s powerful to watch. And I’m not sure if Scarlett was in the room or speaking to him through the ear piece or if it was all done in post, but you’d never know he was the only person in the room.

Phoenix’s character has a simple enough backstory – a nasty divorce from the love of his life has left him somewhat of a recluse and emotionally crippled. It’s not a hugely original backstory. But when combined with the world created, it’s all you need. The OS Samantha, played by Johansson, has just as much (if not more) or a character arc than the human characters. It’s her character that grows and changes the most. As I said, it’s a complete love story told from both perspectives, even though we are only SEEING one on screen. Give huge credit to Scarlett for bringing a character to life that isn’t even alive and that we never see. If you can write characters like that, you will get a major actor attached to your script.

6. The dialogue will affect you.

I don’t want to ruin anything, but I will leave you with two quotes that stand out. “Love is a form of socially acceptable insanity.” This line is brilliant not just because it’s accurate, but because the whole story is about a guy talking to an ear piece, which makes him look even crazier yet in this world it’s socially acceptable. And “The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” It’s one of those lines that stay with you, that become part of the way you think. The script is full of these, and that kind of dialogue is what powerful films are made of.

Hopefully I’ve convinced you to go see Her, but also to read the script and learn how to craft a story that deserves Oscar gold.

– Danny Manus

Danny Manus is one of the most in-demand script consultants as CEO of No BullScript Consulting and author of “No B.S. for Screenwriters: Advice from the Executive Perspective.”

Danny is also a producer, a columnist for ScriptMag, a judge four years running for the PAGE Awards, and teaches seminars and workshops across the country. You can follow him on Twitter @DannyManus.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Danny Manus

I went in doubting the hype. I’m not a huge Joaquin Phoenix fan and Spike Jonze is the kind of manic eccentric genius that sometimes doesn’t translate to a relatable cohesive story. And considering his writing credits include the Jackass movies and Where the Wild Things Are and his directing credits include Adaptation, Being John Malkovich and dozens of music videos, who could guess that he’d write the next great American love story.

The best compliment I could give Her is that it makes me never want to write again because I don’t think I could ever write something as good that works on so many levels. It is a touching, amazingly relevant, powerful and complete love story that engrosses you more than most love stories where there are TWO people present on screen. It is beautifully crafted, beautifully acted and thematically impactful. It’s a love story for the ages, and the age that hasn’t come yet.

And I realized there are some specific reasons why this movie works so well.

…who could guess that he’d write the next great American love story.

1. It creates an interesting, expansive world but only explores one tiny piece of it.

There are so many lovely nuances to this futuristic Los Angeles setting. The green screen backgrounds shows how much LA has changed in the near future, with its endless glittering lights and cell towers pinging like shooting stars. Every single person is engaged in a schizophrenic-like experience talking to their own ear pieces and personal OS systems as they walk down the street completely oblivious that anyone else exists.

The sharp, ultra-functional, ultra-modern, color-infused world of the apartments and offices underline the isolation that seems to exist between its residents. There are friendships and dates and social interaction, but the closest relationship people seem to have in this world is with their tech gadgets.

Other nuances like how email is read and categorized, how fast technology works and is able to absorb and grow and adapt, how people get around, etc. only further help flesh out the world.

Jonze clearly knew every little aspect of his near-future landscape before he wrote this script and was able to pick and choose which ones would highlight his theme and story and characters in genius ways.

There are probably tons of other aspects of this world that could have been explored, but limiting it to what is directly connected to the love story makes it all the more intriguing. When writers know how to create a truly intriguing world that is special yet relatable, different yet plausible, and that world matches the story that is occurring within it, it’s a winning combination.

Many of the scripts I’ve read lately have these expansive futuristic/dystopian/post-apocalyptic worlds, but they aren’t really necessary to the story – the writers are just hoping that their “awesome” worlds will mask what’s lacking in the narrative.

Jonze chose a time and world that complimented the story in perfect fashion and made it feel MORE believable and viable instead of just distracting us from it. Jonze created a big world but made it feel small, while creating a small story and making it feel big. That’s one of the keys to successful world building.

Writers are just hoping that their “awesome” worlds will mask what’s lacking in the narrative..

2. Timing.

Is there a more relevant love story right now than that between man and technology? It’s the right story at the right time. The themes and societal questions raised and explored of what makes for a genuine relationship, what defines a happy couple, what makes for true love, and what constitutes an acceptable love dynamic in society is done so in beautiful ways.

At a time when gay marriage is a hot button issue, Jonze takes the concept two steps further and makes relationships with OS’s (Operating Systems) the next issue to be tackled. It’s talked about and accepted by many in this story – but it’s still not the thing everyone is comfortable with. It’s still somewhat taboo and embarrassing for Phoenix’s character. There’s still that unsure “Ohhh…umm…okay” reaction when people hear about this relationship.

When a writer can tap into the zeitgeist – and what could be NEXT in the zeitgeist – in a way that examines an issue in a brilliant way without ever mentioning the issue, that shows true talent.

The concept of the OS/Human relationship is discussed, but it’s more about the doubt the Human and the OS have in their own feelings than their worries about what the outside world thinks. It’s about being comfortable in your own love and your own mind and letting everything else go. And if that’s not an important and relevant message and theme to explore today, I don’t know what is.

The beauty of the way Jonze explores this theme, however, is how he has elevated the genre and the discussion. Which brings us to…

Tune in next week for Part 2 of Why Her?

You can also catch Danny’s webinar on Her on the 19th of February. Click here for more details.

– Danny Manus

Danny Manus is one of the most in-demand script consultants as CEO of No BullScript Consulting and author of “No B.S. for Screenwriters: Advice from the Executive Perspective.”

Danny is also a producer, a columnist for ScriptMag, a judge four years running for the PAGE Awards, and teaches seminars and workshops across the country. You can follow him on Twitter @DannyManus.

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

:: Screenplay Review – Once Upon A Time In Hell
:: 10 Screenwriting Tips from Planes, Trains and Automobiles!
:: Story as Psychological Journey

Script Perfection

:: Should You Write a Novel or a Screenplay?
:: Writing for Stars
:: Joe Eszterhas’s 10 Rules of Screenwriting
:: Hemingway on How to Be a Writer

Pitching & Selling

:: Test Your Story Concept

Best of the Rest

:: J.C. Chandor: Why TV Hasn’t Killed Movies
:: “12 Years A Slave” Screenwriter John Ridley
:: Movie Review – Catching Fire
:: ‘Before Midnight’ Interview with Ethan Hawke and others
:: 10 Screenwriters to Watch
:: The Networks’ Big-Money Bet to Skip Pilots
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell.

Enjoy!

Karel

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Trevor Mayes

Prom Date

Here’s a quick metaphor to illustrate what I’m trying to say…

STUDENT

Is my prom date’s dress hot or what?

CONCERNED FRIEND

I guess. But dude, your date is a chimp.

STUDENT

Okay now you’re just being rude.

CONCERNED FRIEND

No, I mean your date is literally a chimpanzee. Does your dad work for the circus or something?

STUDENT

The zoo.

CONCERNED FRIEND

Ah.

Awkward silence.

STUDENT

Smokin’ hot dress though, right?

It doesn’t matter how hot your scenes are, if your script is a chimp!

5 Things

Here are five BIG things you should sweat over, long before worrying about things like correct formatting, clever descriptions or upping the tension in a particular scene:

Concept

Concept is probably the most important aspect of your script. If you have a fantastic one, readers/producers will be more likely to forgive minor problems.

When you tell people about your concept, do they ooh and ahh? Do their eyes light up? If it’s a comedy, do they smile or laugh? Do they immediately connect with the material. Make sure you have a winning concept before you start writing your screenplay.

True story. I once had a woman pitch me the following sole movie concept: “It’s about a black Hollywood producer who has a small dick.” FAIL!

Concept is probably the most important aspect of your script.

Character Motivations

By the time a reader reaches the second act of your script, he/she should be able to answer at least two fundamental questions. The first one is: “What does the protagonist want?” Make sure the answer to this question is clear and primal.

“My protagonist is just kinda going with the flow at this stage of the script.” FAIL!

Rooting Interest for Your Main Character

The second question a reader should be able to answer by the start of the second act is: “What do I want for the protagonist?” Depending on your story, this may, or may not, be the same thing as what the protagonist wants. But either way, at this stage, the reader should be rooting for your main character(s).

Moreover the reader should have an implicit understanding of where the story is going, and care about that direction.

READER: “I hate the protagonist, so I don’t care if he finds his lost doughnut… not that I would have been at all interested in that anyway.” FAIL!

At this stage, the reader should be rooting for your main character.

Overarching Story

Have you provided a solid structure and an engaging plot?

Do cool or powerful things happen in your story? Have you fulfilled the promise of the premise? Have you executed a story that maximizes the potential of the concept? Thrilled the audience? Shown them something they’ve never seen before, or in a way they’ve never seen it?

“Yes, it’s a global apocalypse movie, but we learn what happens through first person accounts only. It takes place entirely in one interview room.” FAIL!

Theme

Is your movie about something? The movies that leave an impact on us are the ones that teach us something, or, at the very least, have something to say that will resonate with audiences. Something specific.

“The theme is danger.” FAIL!

***

Do you have all of these bases covered in your script? Or are you taking a chimp in a pretty dress to prom?

Any “big stuff” you would add to the list?

-Trevor Mayes

Trevor Mayes is a screenwriter, script consultant, and cat whisperer who absolutely loves movies.

Through his website Scriptwrecked he has helped dozens of screenwriters, at all levels, improve their craft.

Photo Credits: Stock XChng

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

If you liked this, check out more videos about screenwriting or filmmaking. And if you know of a great video on Screenwriting, let us know in the comments. Thanks!

by Trevor Mayes

(Note: This post has little to do with the development phase where you’re incorporating notes from executives. It deals with the rewriting phase of your script where the only people who have seen it are friends, family, peers, script consultants, etc.)

5 Things to Consider When Incorporating Feedback

1. Does it resonate with you?

If the note you receive on your script doesn’t make sense to you, you should never incorporate it. There has to be some recognition of its inherent validity for it to be considered. Never follow a note blindly, no matter who’s giving it to you.

2. Is everyone saying the same thing?

While it’s important to stay true to your artistic vision, ultimately you want a script that appeals to your audience. If you consistently get the same note back from your respected readers, you need to seriously consider incorporating it.

Never follow a note blindly.

3. Does it hint at an underlying or alternate problem?

Suppose you’re absolutely sure that some story beat needs to stay in your script, yet your readers keep flagging it. It’s entirely possible that the setup to the beat, or some other aspect of the scene or script needs tweaking. Part of your job is to read between the lines of what people are saying.

4. Are you resistant to a suggestion because of the work involved in correcting it?

Sometimes we’ll bristle at a suggestion, and immediately think, “No frikken way!”. Usually that happens when the suggestion involves a major change.

When you receive such a note, take a deep breath, let the feedback wash over you for a couple of days, then try to evaluate it as dispassionately and honestly as you can.

If you decide the feedback is valid, it might take you a few extra weeks, even months, to rewrite your script, but that’s a much better alternative than hoping no one else will see the problem… because I promise you they will. You’ve come this far, you might as well give your script the best chance of selling.

Sometimes we’ll bristle at a suggestion, and immediately think, “No frikken way!”

5. Who’s giving you the note?

If you’ve just written a raunchy teenage comedy and your grandma thinks some of the lines are too offensive… you should probably take that with a grain of salt.

But that’s an easy call. Often you’ll have peers who are accomplished in one particular genre, but may not have expertise in your genre. Or maybe you’ve given them harsh criticism on their last script and they’ve been itching for some payback.

On the other side of things, if someone who’s been around the block for a number of years tells you something that no one else has told you, it’s possible they’re bang on with their feedback and they’ve seen something that more casual readers have missed.

Either way, make sure you run the feedback through all five of these litmus tests before you start incorporating it. And remember, no one knows your story better than you do.

-Trevor Mayes

Trevor Mayes is a screenwriter, script consultant, and cat whisperer who absolutely loves movies.

Through his website Scriptwrecked he has helped dozens of screenwriters, at all levels, improve their craft.

Photo Credits: Stock XChng

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Trevor Mayes

Why?

– Humans are visual — we learn things more quickly and readily by seeing.
– Showing is quicker than telling — after all, a picture says a thousand words right? Screen time is precious. The quicker you can convey the necessary information, the better.

Show, don’t tell is an important rule for the screenwriter to follow. Each of the following scenarios, presents different challenges:

Dialogue

Usually the show, don’t tell rule means that you should eliminate clunky, artificial, “on the nose” dialogue that tells us what a character is feeling in a direct way. Instead, try to write action that shows us.

In an episode of ABC’s Flash Forward, Mark (Joseph Feinnes), and his wife Olivia (Sonya Walger), each say to each other: “I trust you.” However, when Olivia exits moments later, Mark throws something across the room. He doesn’t trust her. And by allowing his actions to speak louder than his words, the scene feels more authentic.

It was a prime example of show, don’t tell and is one of the seven ways to ensure your scenes are lean and mean.

Allowing his actions to speak louder than his words, the scene feels more authentic.

Scene Description

If you’re describing something on screen, that ensures you’re showing and not telling, right? Well, not necessarily.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of describing something, without telling us how that translates to what we see on screen. An example of BAD writing:

Marlene exits the elevator overwhelmed with thoughts of her heated conversation that morning with Chad.

That may work in a novel, but what the heck am I seeing on screen? Does she wander around like a zombie? Does she clench her fists? Do tears well up in her eyes? As much as possible try to write descriptions that allows us to divine a character’s emotions from what we see.

(Note: Be careful not to get too detailed with your actions. Capture the moment succinctly, and in a way that doesn’t lock the actor and director in a box of specificity.)

Similarly, when describing settings, don’t skimp on the description. An example of BAD or limited writing:

Van Helsing approaches a spooky castle.

Spooky, on its own, doesn’t tell us too much. What makes it spooky? Do ghosts of dead monkeys soar overhead? Does blood drip down the stone walls? Does a hollow-faced girl with a missing arm and red eyes glare at him from the tower? Make sure to paint the appropriate word pictures (and again, don’t get lost describing every little detail).

It’s easy to fall into the trap of describing something, without telling us how that translates to what we see on screen.

Flashbacks

While using extensive flashbacks in your script is frowned upon (they tend to slow down the pacing and momentum of your story) it’s a much better option than burdening your script with pages and pages of dialogue to accomplish the same thing.

However, if you’re considering a flashback scene, first ask yourself a few questions:

Is it necessary?
If I have a character who’s a 50 year old drug addict and the story deals with his recovery and redemption, do I really need to show the audience the scene where he smokes his first joint? If the scene isn’t offering new information, or surprising revelations, then it should probably be scrapped.

Is it going to take less time to tell?
Don’t create an elaborate flashback just for some tiny piece of information you need to get across. A clever single line of dialogue can do the same thing. Of course, it depends on the story you’re trying to tell, but having a line like: “My father was some kind of war hero” — is probably more efficient than showing a multi-million dollar sequence where the protagonist’s father storms the beaches of Normandy and destroys three Nazi bunkers.

Is it going to break the fictive spell of my movie?
Since we live in linear time, a flashback has the potential to remove a viewer’s suspension of disbelief.

Is it going to make my movie feel disjointed?
Jumping around in time can be jarring to an audience. Care must be taken to orient the audience as quickly as possible following a flashback. You don’t want the viewer (or more importantly, the script reader) to feel like your story is hard to follow.

Is it funny?
Sometimes it’s all about the laugh. Some of the best scenes in Austin Powers III — Goldmember, were the flashback scenes with the young Austin Powers and Dr. Evil. If there’s a hysterical gag that requires a flashback and fits within the construct of your storytelling objective — go for it!

What About Voiceovers Chump?

Voiceover narration, by definition, is telling, not showing, and is usually considered the hallmark of lazy writing. However, voiceover narration has been handled to great effect in many movies and is therefore a topic of discussion for another time, along with other instances where it’s okay to break the rule…

-Trevor Mayes

Trevor Mayes is a screenwriter, script consultant, and cat whisperer who absolutely loves movies.

Through his website Scriptwrecked he has helped dozens of screenwriters, at all levels, improve their craft.

Photo Credits: Stock XChng

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Jamie Campbell

I recently saw Silver Linings Playbook, which I heard described as the new romantic comedy. Except it wasn’t a comedy at all, the rom com was now the rom drama. And apparently it was here to stay.

The same elements were there: boy and girl meet in an awkward situation, they slowly realise they can’t take another breath without each other, something happens to tear them apart, and then at the last moment they live happily ever after. The formula was there, just not the cheesiness. So it’s wasn’t really my beloved rom com.

Next, I saw Safe Haven. From the trailers, I knew I would get romance, but what about the comedy? Nope, turns out I just got the drama (which I should have expected from a Nicholas Sparks story, really). It was overloaded with the sweet anticipation of love, but it dealt with the serious undertones of domestic violence and the death of a spouse. A great story, with a good twist, and definitely worth seeing anyway, but it wasn’t my rom com.

The rom com was now the rom drama

So I pored over the movie line up, wondering where I could get lost in a funny love story and was sadly disappointed. It seems a rom com has to come in the form of an ensemble comedy these days (I’m looking forward to seeing I Give it a Year and perhaps Goddess will be good too).

Where for art thou romantic comedies? Has the genre that gave us Ten Things I hate About You, French Kiss, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and anything with Jennifer Aniston, gone? Died? I certainly hope not.

I love to write rom coms, I have a whole folder of the things begging to see the light of day. I love the way the story of two human beings finding each other in a world full of people and coming together can completely capture you for an hour and a half. Getting lost in their story and forgetting about my own is what I live for.

Getting lost in their story and forgetting about my own is what I live for.

But I think there is an opportunity here with the shifting from rom coms to rom dramas. Silver Linings Playbook brilliantly wove the story of romance into the very serious topic of mental illness. It brought something unique to the love story, it emphasised how special their bond was – how much they had to embrace differences in order to love one another. It creates more of an emotional impact with the audience and lingers after the movie has ended. And isn’t that what we strive for?

Perhaps by putting more of an emphasis on the drama, we can implore our audience to emotionally connect better with our characters and invest more of their time really cheering for our lead. Instead of a rom com being just a fun story, it can mean something more.

And if we can get the mix right, like Silver Linings Playbook did, our movies can reach the same heights as other genres instead of being relegated to the fluffy section (How many rom coms have won Oscar’s?).

Does this mean I have to ditch all my scripts and rewrite them as dramas? I hope not, I’d like to think there is still room for rom coms. Perhaps it isn’t the trend right now, but like flares, they’ll come back into style. Until then, I’m going to have fun exploring all the drama I can throw into one story. Watch out Nicholas Sparks, I’m coming to gettcha.

-Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.
Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest spine-tingling thriller Gifted is out now.

Photo Credits: Stock XChng

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Marie Setiawan

This week I was invited to the screening of a feature that I had the privilege of being a part of from its very foundations. Looking back at its long and arduous journey in the making, I thought back to when I started to walk in the footsteps of a screenwriter. It all began in a filmmaking workshop held by Information and Cultural Exchange in 2010 where I was introduced to Billy Marshall Stoneking – our mentor in screenwriting – and seven budding filmmakers (whether we were writers or directors). From the very get-go, we’ve established our little writer’s circle and collaboration began to create seven different short films, all from different points-of-view, different walks of life, and creative differences. This was my first collaborative experience, where building the foundations of your story, plot, and characters became both rewarding and difficult.

The Art of Collaborating and its Rewards (or Tribulations)

Many writers keep their babies close to their heart, but only few would keep it away from the feedback it deserves. Why deny the potential of your story? Following Billy’s thought on screenwriting, your story becomes a part of you – almost a treasure. And with that comes a subconscious thought (or an awareness) to protect it and shield it from the eyes of others. Personally, collaboration opens you up to a number of opportunities to see how your story fares from another point-of-view. Personally, a lack of collaboration can be seen as a fear that another’s eyes would tear it apart and shred what work you’ve already put into it. Stories that need layers to shed eventually get placed on the shelf to collect dust, for those who can’t continue on. But the beauty of shedding these layers is bringing the story back down to its very core – the truth behind all the junk that shrouds it.

Working and sharing ideas with other fellow writers is a wonderful yet trying experience. The past few years stepping into screenwriting has taught me that. And with that, there are three advantages I’ve found that outweigh the criticism of others when it comes to storytelling and scriptwriting within a collaboration.

1. Reacting to the Read
Waiting for a fellow writer while they read your script? Watch them every now and then to find any initial reactions they may have while they are reading. I’ve found it easier to discover (or roughly estimate) at what points of my story they had the urge to crack a smile, pull a frown, or even chuckle (whether for good or bad). At first, I felt self-conscious of what others thought of any of my creative choices. Now I embrace the thought that I was able to move them in one way or another.

2. Listening to the Initial Thought
When any collaborator/writer/editor/family member gives feedback, it can be a daunting thing. Did they understand your story? Or are they still unsure as to what is going on? Their first thoughts to your story are the most important pieces of feedback you’d get from them. The initial thought and their first impressions tell you, as the writer, what they got from your story, making them your first point of contact as the audience. By listening and processing the first things that come out of their mouths, it can help you understand what aspects of your story they’ve gotten the most of – whether that is on a visual perspective, or a storytelling aspect.

3. Creating a Dialogue
After the read and the first load of feedback, creating and sharing thoughts between yourself and your “audience” at this stage can help create an understanding about your story. It isn’t all about enforcing your vision, but creating the bridge that can help make them understand your point-of-view. I’ll admit there had been times where I would try to make others understand where my stories came from – not to the greatest extent either. It’s all about sharing your thoughts and being open to receive feedback and their point-of-views as well.

These are just small things I’ve made clear to myself when I share, but it has helped me take that next step into screenwriting when I can freely let my stories go into another’s hands and not be paranoid about finding and discovering the core of my story – to shed away layers to find something new.

The Product of Collaboration – The Fruits of Labour

Now, almost a year later in the works (two years after the shorts had premiered), a feature appears. Due to the writer’s circle and collaborating with six others, we’ve all discovered a common theme that strings all of our films together into a cohesive piece. With that, the prospects of a feature built on the very foundations of these short films was a possibility. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but working with others, whether it is in the writing stages, the production stages, and even through to post, collaboration is key.

So, why elephants?

– Marie Setiawan

Marie Setiawan is a film graduate from the International Film School Sydney, as well as a UNSW Alumni with a BA degree in Media and Communications with Honours. Writing is her passion, but she also enjoys many things on the side such as reading, watching films, and is an avid gamer of sorts.

She also tweets for The Story Department with a small crew.

by Jamie Campbell

There is only one Hero’s Journey, it’s a tried and true formula that has been around for ages. So if we all know of the journey and are all writing to the same format, then how are movies different? Same, but different?

Every time I get a new idea, I have to run through my database of movies, television shows, and books to see whether it’s been done before. Most of the time, it has. But instead of discounting my idea, I think how can I make it different? What twist can I apply so that it’s new? I don’t proceed until I can answer that question.

I was watching The Vampire Diaries recently, yet another show revolving around teenagers and vampires. I’m completely over the whole Twilight thing so I was trying to work out why I was so obsessed with The Vampire Diaries. Then I realised, it was the same but different.

How can I make it different?

Vampires are not new, far from it. They were telling tales of Vlad the Impaler while he was still alive. So the concept wasn’t new so the story had to be. In The Vampire Diaries, they focus on the two vampire brothers, one is a reformed bad boy, the other just a bad boy. Throw in a girl and they’ve got a love triangle to keep us hanging. But the crux of the story is always down to the brother’s relationship – they just happen to be vampires.

True Blood is the same. A sexy vampire attracts a beautiful girl, there is a controversial relationship with a love triangle, and lots of blood. The difference is that vampires are out and proud. They’ve taken the traditional story and placed it in a different setting – in a world where everyone knows about vampires and they openly live amongst us. They don’t go around biting people (well, aren’t supposed to anyway), but rather buy their blood at the store. It’s new and unique, something we are intrigued by.

And not to forget the one that started them all – Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Cue vampires, werewolves, and witches. Throw in teenagers and wackiness ensues. The difference here? It’s not about the vampires but the vampire slayer. We follow her life as she kills the demons and fulfils her life’s purpose. Same, but different.

The show’s spinoff, Angel, is yet another example. Here, the story is about a vampire with a soul, one that broods over his evil past and fights to rid the world of darkness. It still had vampires, still had humans seduced by them, and it still had a lot of blood, but it’s a different twist on the old story by giving him a soul.

I guess I should mention Twilight. While I would argue it has the least amount of differentness, it is still there. The vampire the human falls in love with cares about her too much. It’s the vampire putting the brakes on the relationship, maintaining his grip on a traditional courtship. Instead of the dream-filled human wanting to get married, it’s the vampire.

The concept wasn’t new so the story had to be.

Of course, in all of these shows there is a human girl who meets a handsome vampire guy. They struggle with their relationship, try to fight their attraction, try to overcome their differences, and ultimately fall in love. Yet we don’t seem to mind the pattern. To be ‘the same, but different’, there has to be some sameness.

So before you go throwing away your idea for the next big blockbuster, try to work out how you can make your story different. Twist the idea so that it’s unique and interesting – something no-one has ever tried before. I challenge you.

-Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest spine-tingling thriller Gifted is out now.

Photo Credits: Stock XChng

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au