the matrix – The Story Department https://www.thestorydepartment.com Story. Screenplay. Sale. Sat, 20 Aug 2016 07:30:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://www.thestorydepartment.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/cropped-fav-32x32.png the matrix – The Story Department https://www.thestorydepartment.com 32 32 2808072 Kung Fu Hustle [Sixty Seconds of Suspense] https://www.thestorydepartment.com/kung-fu-hustle/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/kung-fu-hustle/#comments Sat, 20 Aug 2016 07:03:29 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=233163 Read more]]> Watching Kung Fu Hustle (2004) reminded me how many amazing movies are out there that we won’t get to see – unless we seek them out.

After the release of Batman vs. Superman (2016), articles and videos appeared about Hollywood’s obsession with *moments* at the expense of *scenes*. Ironically, when I write about movie moments, mostly they are meaty dramatic scenes.

This time, I am going to show you something special. Some scene/moment hybrid.

Cult Invasion

If you are familiar with the best of Asian cinema, you will know how much it has influenced our screen culture over the years. Hollywood westerns, as well as Star Wars are indebted to Kurosawa, The Matrix borrows heavily from manga (like Ghost In The Shell); and TV shows like True Detective have a distinct Korean feel to it.

Only once in a blue moon do Asian films themselves make it to the Western box office, and break out big, as did for instance Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

A Kung Fu Hustle Spectacular

kung fu hustle - stephen chowWhen Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle (2004) was released in the US, it opened in more theatres than any other foreign language before. Its global box office takings exceeded a hundred million dollars, and so doubled the director’s previous success Shaolin Soccer.

The movie’s credits are almost all Chinese, as the film was produced entirely in Hong Kong. Among the rare Western credits is an Australian sound post-production house (Soundfirm).

A supreme achievement of the modern age in terms of comedy.

Kung Fu Hustle tells the story of the inhabitants of Pig Sty Alley, fighting the notorious Axe Gang, in spectacular kung fu action fashion.

Much like most hero’s journeys, the movie stays light-hearted throughout its first half. Fight scenes are entertaining and funny, and only the baddies die. The comedy is world class, and Bill Murray has declared to be a fan. He called it a “supreme achievement of the modern age in terms of comedy.” And: “There should have been a day of mourning for American comedy the day that movie came out.”

Beware Of The Harpists

vlcsnap-2016-08-20-16h03m07s233Halfway the story, the cast of characters is joined by a sinister duo of Sitar players, ‘the Harpists’.

In a wonderfully cinematic scene of a mere sixty seconds, we are warned that the stakes have just gone up – exponentially. In order to survive, the heroes of Pig Sty Alley will now have to fight harder. A lot harder.

The scene is not representative of the kinetic kung fu action set pieces that define this film, but it does show Stephen Chow’s knack for pure visual storytelling.

In contrast to the movie’s high-budget tentpole moments, it is simple and even subdued. We’re just watching Cookie’s last moments until he falls prey to the power of the Harpists’ evil trickery.

Cookie’s Fate

kung fu hustle - cookie[SPOILERS] – As Cookie turns and walks away from the Harpist, we follow him first from the back. If you look carefully, you will see shrub leaves to his right be cut off, and fall away, silently.

Then, we follow Cookie from the side, and in the background we see a terracotta jar sliced in two, with water spilling out. Not a sound is heard.

Next – still in the background – a cat on the roof stalks closer, towards the roof edge, jumps …

What follows, you will need to watch for yourself. Indirectly, it is foreshadowed that things may not end well for Cookie.

This short scene not only shows supreme visual cinema; it offers a great example of dramatic irony. The character doesn’t have the information, but we do.

This creates terrific suspense, and in true cinematic tradition you will take pleasure … in anticipating the worst.

-Karel Segers

https://ozzywood.wistia.com/medias/pgg1pjdg54?embedType=async&seo=false&videoFoam=true&videoWidth=1080


Watch full screen for best effect! Click the icon in the bottom right of the image.
]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/kung-fu-hustle/feed/ 2 233163 Best of the Web 8 Sep https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-8-sep/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-8-sep/#respond Sat, 07 Sep 2013 23:33:01 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=30118 Read more]]> Story & Structure

:: Great Scene: “No Country For Old Men”
:: Is Screenplay Structure Theory Ruining Movies?
:: Speedrun: “The Matrix” and “The Big Lebowski”
:: Anatomy of a TV Spec – Don’t Trust the B— in Apt 23
:: How to End It All (Tv Shows)
:: It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It
:: Screenplay Review – Asylum (2002 Draft of “Batman vs. Superman”)

Script Perfection

:: Character = Function
:: Should I Use “is” Construction Verbs or Not?
:: 10 Screenwriting Tips from ‘Fatal Attraction’
:: Taking Feedback Notes
:: Eliminate the Unnecessary (or…. Axe those Adverbs)
:: Scriptnotes, 106: Two ENTJs Walk Into a Bar (And Fix It)
:: The Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Add To Your Script

Pitching & Selling

:: What Is So Interesting About Wonder Woman?
:: Tribes and the Reality of Worldview

Best of the Rest

:: Hanging out with Actors? I’m Dead Serious!
:: HBO Orders a Pilot for Westworld TV Series
:: ’12 Years a Slave’ is a Profound Cinematic Achievement
:: September is Scene-Writing Month: Day 3
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell.

Enjoy!

Karel

]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-8-sep/feed/ 0 30118 Best of the Web 19 Aug https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-19-aug/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-19-aug/#respond Sun, 19 Aug 2012 00:06:19 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=24558 Read more]]> Story & Structure

:: Why Good Description Worked for the Matrix but Didn’t for Matrix Reloaded
:: Screenplay Review – Cloud Atlas
:: Brandon Cohen – Finding YOUR Voice
:: Walt Disney/Touchstone ‘Titanic’ Coverage

Script Perfection

:: How To Make A Genre Movie – Infographics!
:: Is Your Hero Wrong?
:: Your Audience is Intelligent
:: 30 Indispensable Writing Tips From Famous Authors
:: Stephen King – “The thing is, they pay you the big bucks to finish.”

Pitching & Selling

:: So you want my Job: An interview with Screenwriter, Stephen Scaia
:: Top 5 Reader Questions, Answered by a TV and Blog Writer
:: Jane Espenson: There’s No Opinion Like Your Own Opinion, But Just How Good is Your Taste?

Best of the Rest

:: Cryptic Canvas: Find 50 Films in this Picture
:: Poorly Translated Subtitles from a Chinese Bootleg of The Avengers
:: Ang Lee’s ‘Life of PI’ will open the New York Film Festival
:: Take 12 Minutes to Listen to a Great Speech – Other People’s Money (1991)
:: Final Online-Only Trailer for Laika’s Must-See ‘ParaNorman’
:: Severe Writer’s Block (With Flair)
:: A Closer Look at Marvel’s New ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’
:: Advances in Technology Gives us More Freedom – Case-in-point: X-Men
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell and Brooke Trezise.

Enjoy!

Karel

]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-of-the-web-19-aug/feed/ 0 24558 Best o/t Web 25 Apr https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-ot-web-25-apr-10/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-ot-web-25-apr-10/#respond Sun, 25 Apr 2010 02:36:17 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=9580 Read more]]> :: The Matrix: Act I breakdown. Is Neo the One?
:: Get writing. Bring the good movies back!
:: Plots 101: a breakdown in threes.
:: IndieWire’s top 25 independent films to see this summer.
:: Could your character bio distract you from your story?
:: Find the voice of your series, then the show writes the show.
:: Save the trouble, your loved ones can be your experts.
:: Act II:2, weeding out the theme. What’s your story really about?
:: Great scene to ‘rattle your characters’ cages’: Cameron Crowe’s “Almost Famous.”
:: “There Will be Blood” Paul Thomas Anderson in the Hollywood Conversation Series.
:: Screenwriting help: how to write numbers in your dialogue.
_______________________________

With thanks to the wonderful Sol.

Enjoy!

Karel

]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/best-ot-web-25-apr-10/feed/ 0 9580 The Secret https://www.thestorydepartment.com/secret/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/secret/#comments Mon, 07 Jan 2008 10:20:41 +0000 https://secret/ Read more]]> While you were out celebrating New Year’s Eve, I was watching David Cronenberg’s eXistenZ on DVD. Not that I’m such a pathetic hermit; it was just my wife’s fun idea of closing the Old Year. She admitted afterwards she might have been wrong. Missing the Sydney Fireworks and all that.

Meanwhile, the Story Dept. has entered its third calendar year, offering workshops, one-on-one consultancy PLUS a Premium Version of this blog, exclusive to clients and
subscribers. The Hero’s Journey continues, the obsession grows.

THE HERO’S SECRET

eXistenZeXistenZ, named after a fictitious virtual reality video game, was released around the same time as THE MATRIX; the timing having been an excuse for its poor performance. I was surprised to see Roger Ebert’s review not really giving us any critical assessment of the film; all he says is:“eXistenZ’ is likely to appeal especially to computer game players”. He probably means: “It sucked but I don’t know why.”

The film remains original and entertaining but I believe the end holds a crucial mistake as it turns out our heroes have been keeping a secret from us. This goes directly against a key principle of writing for the screen: a protagonist must share with us their knowledge and emotions.

In the Premium Edition (see also below) I will look at a few more examples of heroes who are ruining box office prospects by withholding information or being unreliable for other reasons.
THE WRITER’S SECRET

When I asked one of my most loyal clients for a testimonial, he refused. I was baffled. “Karel,” he said, “if you knew where the gold was buried, would you go and tell everyone?” At first I thought that was a lame excuse, but then I had no reason NOT to believe him. He is a film industry professional who always puts his money where his mouth is. He is continuing our collaboration throughout 2008. But I’m not allowed to tell anybody.

My Unknown Client says about the story theory I’m teaching and applying during my consultancies “it’s the film industry’s best kept secret.” In many ways, he is right. Despite the title of Robert McKee’s bestselling screenwriting manual ‘STORY’, he only dedicates a relatively brief section to the principles of story structure. Many screenwriting manuals do mention the three-act structure but forget to explain why it works and why it is successful. Without a proper foundation, the 3-act structure remains dead theory.

Some people say Australian film schools are gravely deficient in the area of structure and if I am to believe my clients, many AWG script assessors tend to barely brush over it, too. In an article in The Australian last week, Joan Sauers, Billy Stoneking and Duncan Thompson blamed Australian scripts. Again. And again they forgot to mention what William Goldman said: “Story is structure”

]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/secret/feed/ 1 91 The Main Man (m/f) https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-main-man-mf/ https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-main-man-mf/#respond Fri, 09 Feb 2007 15:13:40 +0000 https://the-main-man-mf/ Read more]]> “Most writers work alone. They send in the script and it gets rejected. And they never find out why. The fact is, you can’t succeed as a professional writer if you don’t get professional feedback. You must find out the weaknesses of your story or script before you send it in.” This is not me talking, it’s John Truby.

People who, like me, get to read a great number of Australian screenplays are astounded how poorly developed most of these works are. The ones that stand out are often the ones that have had and taken on board professional feedback.

Really baffling is how many writers seem to have trouble with the protagonist. Writing for the screen is ALL about the protagonist. You can mess with pretty much everything else, not with your hero. When script gurus talk about the structure of a story or a script, they almost always mean: the structure of the protagonist’s journey. Before you can build a journey, you need a protagonist and that, so it seems, is not as simple as it sounds.
I have listed below six of what I believe to be crucial principles against which budding writers are often sinning in terms of their heroes. Although these principles are to a certain extent flexible and extremely skilled, talented and experienced writers have bent the rules with great success, you cannot ignore them altogether. If you take liberties on one, you must compensate on the others or your script will be rejected. Please note that I will be using the ecumenical pronouns “he, him, his” in a unisex fashion when referring to the protagonist.

0. Desire: Driver of all strong characters’ actions and decisions.

Drama is based on character, desire and conflict (and if you have trouble with these, check out THE HERO’S TWO JOURNEYS, there is a link in the right hand margin of this blog). Desire is the central one as in a screenplay it defines both character and conflict. It is so important it precedes everything else: if your protagonist does not have a strong desire, whether internal or external, you don’t have a movie. As a writer, you will need to know at any point in the story what your hero’s objective is. To find out who is the protagonist, most of the time you only need to find out who has the strongest desire in the movie. And don’t forget that it takes great obstacles (conflict) to prove a strong desire.

In HALF NELSON with Oscar® nominee Ryan Gosling the protagonist gradually shifts from Dan (Gosling) to Dray (Shareeka Epps), depending on who has the strongest desire or more accurately: with whom we share the desire. Interestingly this transition doesn’t happen for every viewer in the exact same way as we don’t empathise in identical ways. The writers keep tight control as we see how the movie’s POV shifts with the centre of desire. These things are not coincidental. In a subtle and complex movie such as HALF NELSON, the understanding and careful manipulation of these elements makes the difference between an unbearable arthouse bomb and a quality indie with Oscar potential.

1. Single vs. Multiple Protagonist: Hardly a matter of choice.

Here are two questions for you. 1)“Are you an experienced writer with produced feature drama credits?” 2)“Are you targeting an audience of intellectuals?” Multiple protagonist stories are risky business but if your answer to either question was NO, it would be insanity to even contemplate going there. The emotional impact of multiple protagonist dramas is limited because empathy jumps from one character to the next, resulting in a more cerebral experience. The lovers of these movies will almost always be an audience of intellectuals. Think about directors such as Paul T. Anderson and Robert Altman.

2. Screen time: Stay with your hero.

It is not good to abandon your protagonist. This goes hand in hand with the principle that single POV movies have a stronger emotional impact than omniscient or multi-POV movies (see below). If you divert into a subplot, keep it lean. A great example of an amazingly tight subplot arc is the one of the executioner in QUILLS. On the other hand I seem to remember that the last movie in the Matrix Trilogy failed miserably, partially because protagonist Neo suddenly disappeared to make place for a gargantuan subplot diversion. The Wachowskis couldn’t care less for their hero. What were they thinking!!?? By the time Neo returned into the story, the movie had flopped. A successful movie is all about the protagonist. Once he’s gone, your movie is too.

3. Action: The protagonist drives the story.

Screentime is essential but not sufficient. While the protagonist is on screen, he should be driving the scene. Or rather: his desire/objective should be driving it. Any other character can be central to the scene but the objective should be related to the protagonist’s. If this sounds too technical, try an example: say the hero’s objective is to save her son from the hands of his kidnappers and a particular sequence is about finding the last person who saw him. A scene may show how the antagonist prevents the hero from finding that person. Though it may seem as if the antagonist is driving the scene, its purpose can be easily traced back to the protagonist’s main objective. Action can also be: resisting strongly to act. Andie MacDowell’s character in SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE is a good example of that.

4. Empathy: Share the desire

Most paying audiences want to forget they are watching a movie. They want to be absorbed by it. To achieve this, ideally you should make them feel as if they have moved into the hero’s mind, as if they become the protagonist for the duration of the movie. This complete identification is ideal but not essential. Empathy is. Where lies the distinction?

Michael Hague (photo) has a five point test to create empathy with the protagonist: likability, sympathy, jeopardy, humor and power. Those elements certainly help but I believe the real test for empathy lies in the degree to which we share the protagonist’s desire. If identification means wanting to be the hero, than empathy means wanting to be what the hero wants to be*.

(*Note after publishing: Rightfully, Jack Brislee points out although he loved KENNY, he did not share the ambition of wanting to be a top rate outdoor toilet contractor. He is right, but not until the credits roll. Until that point, you think and feel with the protagonist and you share the desire. Take DOWNFALL, about the last days of Hitler. Some perfectly sane people have told me how they felt sorry for the character in the movie, although that very character explicitly expresses how he doesn’t care if the German people would be wiped out. If they can’t win the war, they’re too weak to deserve the Third Reich anyway. Wow… Why do we feel sorry for such a character? Because for (at least part of) the duration of the movie, we feel his desire and the pain of not being able to fulfill it.)

5. Point of view: Single vs. Multi vs. Omni

In his book STORY (link on the right) McKee says: “the exclusive Point of View of the protagonist is a creative discipline. […] The result is a tight, smooth, memorable character and story.” Seeing the world through the eyes of the hero often helps us understand his desire and therefore it enhances empathy. It makes it easier to plot the hero’s main story arc and it guarantees ample screen time.

McKee claims “[single PoV] is the far more difficult way to tell story.” Here I disagree. Not limiting yourself in this way will make it infinitely harder to write a story that works for the screen. Bottom line: if your story is in trouble, try rewriting it from a single POV. It may be a shortcut to resolving a lot of issues…

PARALLEL NARRATIVE: BABEL

Writer Arriaga bends the rules of screenwriting but compensates by telling each of the four parallel stories as a class example of traditional narrative: four protagonists with strong desires, major obstacles and a three act journey each.

Despite its nomination for best screenplay, BABEL’s breaking the code has caused controversy. Just compare the top four ‘external reviews’ for the film (IMDb)! I found the Tokyo story’s connection to the events in Morocco manufactured and to me it worked on a logical level but not on an emotional one. However, in this movie it’s the only story about the search for love and therefore inevitably the most powerful of all four. No wonder its resolution concludes the movie.

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Great traditional narrative. When Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) finds out somebody is controlling his life, he wants to stop her from killing him. The conflict: antagonist Kay Eiffel (Emma Thompson) needs to finish her book and can’t without doing exactly that. A beautiful example of a strong inner and outer journey for protagonist Crick plus an exemplary ‘relationship line’ around the Ana Pascal character (Maggie Gyllenhaal). As Michael Hague puts it: the hero needs to complete his arc in order to get the girl.
From the trailer I believed the antagonist would have had more screentime but this is another case of a story arc told with the greatest economy. Everything we need to know about Kay Eiffel is there in a handful of brief scenes. Instead the writer focuses increasingly on the love thread, which is the smartest way of getting an audience head over heels involved in the drama.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, but the ending left me confused. It turns out that I’m not the only one. Some reviewers hinted that Miller had reached Pixar levels of perfection with this film but to my taste this is not entirely so on a story level.
HAPPY FEET is a hugely successful movie, and deservedly so. Still I suspect the ending could have been more gratifying had Miller stuck to the Pixar way of developing story.
In case you have seen HAPPY FEET, ask yourself: What is Mumble’s journey? What is his main desire that drives the whole movie? Does he want to fit in with his peers and be accepted by the penguin colony? Or does he want to prove that he is not the cause of the food shortage? From the first scene with Lovelace, I would have thought he actually wanted to resolve the mystery of the Aliens.
Of course it is a combination of all three and each has its own resolution in one way or another. But had it been set up more clearly, I believe we would have had a more satisfactory feeling at the end. Right now the ending is kinda cool and happy and euphorious and all that, but you somehow feel the climax is slightly off the mark. As a matter of fact, the whole third act felt a bit messy to me, probably because of the lack of a clear Act One Turning Point. I have never had that feeling with a Pixar movie.
I may be completely wrong here and I’ll surely have another close look once the DVD is out. Meanwhile I’d love to hear some other opinions on this one!
]]> https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-main-man-mf/feed/ 0 15