After only the first episode, it transpired that Gilligan & Gould came up with something that is tonally very close to Breaking Bad. It also means that the plot plays a much bigger role than originally anticipated. Smart move, as it essentially gives the viewers what they have been lacking since the Breaking Bad finale.

The fans can only applaud it. And with an IMDb rating of 9.3, it seems to be working.

Structurally, Better Call Saul follows very much the one hour drama clock as we are used to from Breaking Bad, with an opening teaser, and act breaks roughly around the 15-30-45mins marks.

[box type=”alert” size=”large” style=”rounded”]We Spoil Everything -You Are WarnedAct One

00.00  B/W Nebraska – Montage over The Inkspots Address Unknown – Saul is ‘Gene’, donut manager.
01.50  Customer looks at Saul with suspicion, Saul freaks out… False alarm.

02.50 Saul at home in his townhouse, drinking Drambuie and watching TV, depressed.
04.15 Closing blinds, opening mysterious box with old photos and passport, he finds a VHS tape.
05.15 He watches the old “Better Call Saul” ads, back to back. They reflect in color in his classes.

06.00 Better Call Saul – Titles

06.12  Flashback – An Albuquerque court is waiting, until the judge gives the guard a sign.
07.35  The guard finds Jimmy McGill (Saul) at the men’s, rehearsing his plea.
08.10  Jimmy enters the courtroom, defends three boys to a jury.
10.35  Prosecution plays a tape showing the boys desecrating a corpse.
12.15  Jimmy complains about his $700 cheque, 1 fee for 3 clients PD work.

12.55  At the carpark, Jimmy gets a call confirming a meeting with the Kettlemans for 4pm.
14.00  He doesn’t have enough stickers, won’t pay $3. Carpark attendant (Mike) sends him back.

[box style=”rounded”]

The first act of the pilot episode of Better Call Saul sets up a number of things. The opening montage is slow, and serious. This is not going to be a straight-up comedy.

Structurally important is the fact that the show opens in the present day, Nebraska. We see Saul in Omaha where Breaking Bad left him. To me, this is a signal that the show may also end here, after however many seasons it will last. Gilligan and Gould know that the most satisfying ending to Better Call Saul should add something to Saul’s current situation. After all, we don’t want to see a characters that we like end in the same depressed state it opened. So my bet is that the final episodes of the final season of Saul will come back to the present day with some surprises.

Some people found the opening to the first episode of Better Call Saul slow. Of course it is. Montages are rarely dramatic, and the courtroom scene adds to the notion that this show will build gradually. At this stage I give them the benefit of the doubt. Gilligan and Gould know what they are doing.

In terms of tone, the creators couldn’t be clearer: this is going to be very dark. When we learn that the boys desecrated a corpse’s head, it is at the same time shocking and comedic, in the light of Jimmy’s plea for the boys, which went just before.

The Kettlemans’ call is the first important plot setup, which will run throughout this episode. Later it will fork into two separate plots: the Deal (that doesn’t happen) and the Scam (which goes wrong).

Gilligan knows his hero’s journey, as we have seen over and over again in Breaking Bad. At the end of the first act of this episode of Better Call Saul, we have a clear Crossing the Threshold scene, where Jimmy wants to leave by car, but a Threshold Guardian (Mike) won’t let him.

Interesting to note, is the absence of a series Inciting Incident. In Breaking Bad, Walter is diagnosed with lung cancer, which triggers the decision that sets up the series concept. It turned White into Heisenberg. Here, no major event seems to be turning Jimmy into Saul. Because this is a prequel, we are waiting for this moment – or process. It is a important part of our anticipation.

Act Two

15.20  Jimmy’s sales pitch to the Kettlemans fails. Betsy wants to “sleep on it.” She clearly wears the pants.
18.25  Driving, Jimmy hits a skateboarder. Saul sees the scam, identifies as a lawyer, and the boys run.
21.00  The manageress at the nail salon berates Jimmy over defending the teenage boys.
22.00  At his office, Jimmy finds  messages and only bills. Bills. He rips up a cheque for $26K from law firm HHM.
23.35  At the HHM offices, Jimmy claims they have to buy out Chuck for $17m. Nemesis Howard Hamlin refuses.

28.30  When Jimmy sees the Kettlemans at HHM, he is fuming. He kicks a rubbish bin and smokes a cigaret with Kim.

[box size=”large” style=”rounded”]

While the first act of Better Call Saul didn’t have many character introductions, in Act Two we see quite a few characters that will come back later in this episode, and season.  Jimmy meets with the Kettlemans, the skater brothers, his nemesis Howard Hamlin, shapeshifter Kim Wexler, and somewhere in between also the manageress of the nail salon where he has his office.

This act is richer in setups. The skaters kickstart the scam plot that will run across into the next episode, and the Kettlemans will become part of quite a few plotlines. Another subplot is linked to Howard Hamlin, who has obviously been a player in Jimmy’s past, and is unlikely to go away soon. The setup for this happens when Jimmy receives a $26K cheque in the mail – and rips it up.

From Jimmy’s interaction with Kim in the basement, we may safely assume that these two have a history. More anticipation!

We have also heard the name Chuck, so our interest is piqued as to who this character might be. Probably important, within the Better Call Saul universe.

Act Three

30.30  Jimmy leaves his electronics in Chuck’s mailbox, tops up ice in the eski, then tells Chuck to cash out.
33.30  Chuck: “I’m gonna beat this.” Jimmy admits he is going under himself, complains about PD work.
37.25  As Chuck wants to help, Jimmy apologizes. But he is annoyed when Chuck defends Hamlin’s actions.
40.00  With ‘Slippin’ Jimmy’ as inspiration, he makes the skaters a proposal: take home $2.000 in one hit.
43.11  Jimmy briefs the skaters for the setup on Betsy’s car.

[box size=”large” style=”rounded”]

We enter the Cave. In a scene that lasts 6.30mins, Jimmy visits his brother Chuck, who clearly has some issues.

The dynamics of the dialogue change, as initially it seems Jimmy wants to help Chuck, but later it appears Chuck is more stable and has been helping him all along.

The scene is mythical: the inscrutable darkness, the stripping bare of technology, Jimmy’s first show of honesty. Here is where Jimmy meets his demons, where he can’t hide, and where he returns to his own self. A strong contrast to the Jimmy we see in the outside world… The screen time of this scene indicates this will be the main inner journey story line for Better Call Saul.

After this scene, Jimmy returns with the ‘reward’. He has an idea that might help him to some quick and easy money. He briefs the skater boys, and plants in our minds the action we can expect in Act Four.

Act Four

45.30  It is on. Jimmy gives the boys 2 mins warning. They launch into it successfully, but the car drives off.
47.45  Jimmy is rehearsing his part when the boys call, and report the hit and run. They’re following the car.
49.25  We crosscut as Jimmy’s car first won’t start / the driver of the hit car is a Mexican woman. “Mijo!”
51.00  While Jimmy drives, trying to find them, he rehearses his negotiation/threat. Finally finds them.
51.40  He knocks on the door. A gun appears. He is pulled into the house. By Tuco Salamanca…

[box size=”large” style=”rounded”]

The action is on, as it befits the final act to any dramatic narrative. True to the Hero’s Journey, there must be a chase/escape/drive/run to open the act. Here, it runs through pretty much most of it.

The entire act is really only payoff to the scam plot, so all the other plotlines will continue in the next episode(s).

The final image of this Better Call Saul episode provides a strong hook to its second episode, as well as a second reward (the first was Mike) for the Breaking Bad addicts.

We are about halfway the first season when I write this, and I am still enjoying the series. Are you?

Let us know in the comments what you think about this much anticipated prequel!

-Karel Segers

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

:: Beat Sheets and Act Structure for Television Drama
:: Screenplay Review – Maersk Alabama (Captain Phillips)
:: TV Script Review – Almost Human

Script Perfection

:: Gideon’s Screenwriting Tips: So Now You’re a Screenwriter…
:: 35 Reasons to Write (or, Why We Do What We Do)
:: Reader Questions
:: Write What You Know: Roasting That Old Chestnut

Pitching & Selling

:: For TV Shows, It’s a Seller’s Market
:: The Highest-Grossing Screenwriters of All Time
:: Dealing with Rejection, Criticism and Failure…

Best of the Rest

:: Interviews: Producer Jason Blum
:: Movie Review – Prisoners
:: Television Co-Showrunners Guide New Talent
:: Breaking Bad – Insider Podcast Season 5
:: Did Matt Damon Prove That The Character Driven Drama Is Dead
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell.

Enjoy!

Karel

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

:: Opening Scene: Rocky 7
:: The Importance of Prep-Writing
:: Advanced Writing Tools: The Pixar Way
:: Amateur Week Smackdown – In Lieu Of Flowers
:: 30 Days of Screenplays – Day 9: The Matrix
:: 30 Days of Screenplays – Day 11: “Memento”

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tip #1220
:: One Habit all Pro Screenwriters Share
:: The 13 Rules for Creating a Prestige TV Drama
:: Ten Stupid Writer Tricks (That Might Actually Work)
:: Transcript of Scriptnotes, Ep. 92
:: Scriptnotes, Ep. 93: Let’s Talk About Nikki Finke
:: It’s Time to Finish the Book!
:: End of Watch – Stray Thoughts
:: Full Uncensored Drama Showrunner Emmy Roundtable

Pitching & Selling

:: How Hit Movies Become Flops

Best of the Rest

:: Rod Serling’s Final Interview
:: Why the World Needs Superman Returns
:: Who Deserves the Best Drama Emmy?
:: Post-Apocalypse Cinema: Abandoned Earths and Disturbing Doppelgangers
:: ‘Man of Steel’ Director Zack Snyder on Making Big Movies
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie Campbell.

Enjoy!

Karel

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

by Angelita Williams

Although there is still a prominent amount of fluffy television shows airing, many networks have adapted new and exciting shows into their lineups.

Throughout the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, most TV shows came off as campy and overacted. Much has changed in recent years, however, now that television has adopted a more film-like way of storytelling, narrative, character development, and plot direction.

Throughout the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s,
most TV shows came off as campy and overacted.

Five shows in particular – Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Downton Abbey, and The Walking Dead – are leading this television revolution. For those of you who haven’t caught a glimpse of these five extraordinary shows, below is a quick synopsis of what you’re missing out on.

1. Breaking Bad

As the high-school-teacher-turned-meth-dealer, Walter White has become one of the most unpredictable television characters we’ve grown to equally love and hate.

In the beginning of Breaking Bad, we saw a family man who was trying desperately to hold it together as he battled chemotherapy, struggled to make ends meet, and worked a job he hated.

Yet when the opportunity to venture over to the dark side grew, Walter simply couldn’t resist all the temptation and luxury that came with being a drug dealer. Slowly but surely, we’ve seen a man grow more immoral and daring as the episodes roll by, and we can’t help but wonder how much further he, his right-hand man Jesse Pinkman, his wife Skyler, and his colleague Mike Ehrmantraut are willing to go.

Slowly but surely, we’ve seen a man
grow more immoral and daring
as the episodes roll by

We have no idea where this show is taking us, but that’s what makes it all so thrilling to stick around and watch. Will Walter be caught by his DEA agent brother-in-law, Hank Schrader? Will Jesse ever find out that Walter purposely poisoned his girlfriend’s son? Will Skyler be able to handle all the anxiety and stress since finding out Walter’s secret?

Who knows, but this show is well worth the anticipation you’re left with from week to week.

2. The Walking Dead

If you’re looking for a show with a happy ending, don’t watch The Walking Dead; it is a show about what the world is left looking like after a zombie apocalypse, and believe me it isn’t pretty.

Full of terrifying zombies, gut-wrenching storylines, and reoccurring feelings of hopelessness, this show is not for the faint of heart. The Walking Dead evokes a common theme that many films, books, and television shows attempt to address: the future of our world. Week to week, we watch as a handful of characters attempt to survive in a world that has lost all civilization, morality, and safety.

this show is not for the faint of heart.

It’s every man and woman for himself or herself, and one can’t help but notice the circumstances aren’t getting better for these characters. It will be interesting to see how this story comes to an end. Let’s just hope that’s not anytime soon!

3. Downton Abbey

Talk about a flashback in time; Downton Abbey has a Victorian-esque storyline, following the everyday lives of the Crawley family and their servants during the reign of King George V.

After the sinking of the RMS Titanic in 1912, the Crawley family discovers that the only heir to their estate has died in the sinking.

This family tragedy sets in motion what the whole show has been based on for the past two seasons: an attempt to maintain the legacy and influence the Crawley family has built for generations.

it embodies a wholesome,
romantic storyline with
a few scandals thrown in
here and there.

What makes this show so popular amongst a wide range of audiences is the fact that it embodies a wholesome, romantic storyline with a few scandals thrown in here and there.

It’s not too cheesy or risqué; it manages to maintain a delicate balance that very few shows are able to uphold.

4. Mad Men

Perhaps one of the most popular television shows on right now, Mad Men has made the sixties generation all the rage again.

Former Sopranos writer Matthew Weiner has created a show about a fictional advertising agency called Sterling Cooper (now Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce) and the key individuals that work at the company.

The focal character, Don Draper, is the main reason this show is so darn intriguing. Along with Walter White of Breaking Bad, Don Draper has to be one of the most unpredictable, shameless, and mysterious characters we’ve ever encountered in television.

sexism, adultery, racism, the counterculture,
and numerous other relevant topics.

His interactions with the characters around him address common themes you’d expect to see in a show about the sixties, including sexism, adultery, racism, the counterculture, and numerous other relevant topics.

The shock factor that comes along with this show can’t be emphasized enough, and if you haven’t already, I’d suggest trying to catch up and see what you’ve been missing over the show’s past five seasons.

5. Game of Thrones

If I’m going to be completely honest, I’ll say that I saved the best for last.

Although it’s only two seasons in, Game of Thrones has proved to be a wildly enjoyable, well-performed series. The show is based on a medieval book series of the same title and tells the story of seven kingdoms battling to rule the Iron Throne for command of all the kingdoms, which is commonly called “playing The Game of Thrones” on the show.

The show has its moments of being gory, heartfelt, tragic, uplifting, and unbelievable, and audiences can’t wrap their minds around all the craziness. In fact, similar The Lord of The Rings, Game of Thrones has helped recreate an interest in fantasy television once more.

The show has its moments of
being gory, heartfelt, tragic,
uplifting, and unbelievable

No telling where this show will take us next when season 3 premieres in 2013, but we can bet that viewers will be tuning in to see.

Reality television may fill most the content we see on TV nowadays, but every once in a while we’ll see a great television series come along. If you haven’t already caught a glimpse of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, or Downton Abbey, I’d suggest you do so!

Angelita Williams is a freelance blogger who specializes in education-related content.

She’s familiar with educational practices for every age and lifestyle, from online college courses to homeschooling to traditional learning.

You can contact Angelita at angelita.williams7@gmail.com.

by Karel Segers

Massive spoilers ahead.

Teaser

An RV and a man in underpants (4mins)

00.00 An RV with driver and three bodies races through the desert, goes off the road, stuck. 01.00 The driver, in underpants, comes out, distressed. 02.00 Underpants man goes back in, takes a vide camera, puts on a shirt. 02.30 Underpants man is Walter White. To camera: “This is not an admission of guilt.” Addesses family. 03.30 Sirens approach. Walter White faces the sirens, ready with a handgun.

Imagine opening a new TV show by showing the life of a 50-year old goody two-shoes chemistry teacher, whose greatest excitement is getting veggie bacon for breakfast on his birthday. Now this is exactly what Act One shows us, for a full ten minutes. It would have been indigestible, dead boring and plain awful writing. But by moving five minutes of excitement from episode climax to the front, the entire expositional opening becomes palatable. It’s a familiar technique and Breaking Bad will rely on it often.

Act One

The life of Walter White (11mins)

04.30 5am and Walt lies in bed, awake. 05.00 Walt on his stepper, coughing. Was once member of Nobel winning chemistry team. 05.30 50th birthday breakfast: veggie bacon breakfast with wife Skyler and son Walt Jr. 06.30 Walt arrives at school with his son. 07.00 Walt teaches chemistry – the study of change. One unruly student. 08.30 Walt moonlights at the car wash. Boss Bogdan takes advantage of Walt’s compliance. 09.30 The unruly student arrives with car and girlfriend. They mock Walt. 10.00 Walt is driving. The glove box won’t shut. 10.30 Surprise birthday party. Skyler is pregnant, her sister Marie with DEA husband Hank. 11.00 Hank shows off his hand gun and Walt reluctantly watches as he gives it to Walt Jr to hold. 12.00 TV report on Hank’s meth lab seizure: $700k. “I’ll take you on a ride along! Get a little excitement!” 13.00 Walt in bed. Skyler gives him a hand job while focusing on her ebay auction. 15.00 Walt collapses at the car wash.

Here is a man whose life can’t possibly get any worse. Why doesn’t he just kill himself rightaway? Walter White is surely not the aspirational hero, rather the identificational one. Don’t we all have at least something in common with Walt? He represents the metaphor of someone not really alive but merely getting by. This must end, either by death – or excitement. Guess which. The thematic statement in this first act is expressed in Walt’s teaching, when he talks about chemistry as the study of ‘change’. Breaking Bad writer/creator Vince Gilligan is foreshadowing here what will happen to his hero. Like all great transformational characters, the audience craves their change. Here we are promised that this change will come about. Just hang in there. Later, the promise of excitement becomes a visual anticipation when Hank offers Walt to take him along on a meth raid. The act ends with the Inciting Incident.

Act Two

Lung Cancer, Inoperable (10mins)

  16.00 In the ambulance, the paramedic asks Walter: are you a smoker? 17.00 Full body scan. 17.30 Doctor delivers verdict: lung cancer, inoperable. “I’ll live maybe another couple of years”. 18.30 Walt comes home, Skyler fusses over credit card, asks “how was your day?” Walt: “Fine.” 19.30 Bogdan doesn’t get away with his attitude any longer. Walt: “Fuck you – and your eyebrows!” 20.30 Walt calls Hank to asks if the meth raid ride-along offer is still open. 21.30 DEO officers Hank and Gomez in car with Walter, waiting for the school bus to pass. 23.00 Hank and Gomez wait in the car before the raid. Tipp-off about ‘Captain Cook’. 24.00 Walt wants to go inside, see the actual lab, has to wait in the car. 25.00 Walt sees former student Pinkman sneak out 1st floor window. “Oh my God… Pinkman?” (in underpants).

Did you realise that both Walt and Jesse are in underpants when we see them on screen for the first time? Breaking Bad is full of delightful parallels. My absolute favorite examples are in Episode S2E12 “Phoenix”, which is possibly the best hour of television drama I have ever seen.” In this Second Act, already Walt’s health verdict leads to an immediate change in his behavior – but he is selective to whom he shows it. From now on he will keep secrets – big secrets – mostly for the people he loves the most: his family.

Mid Point

The offer Jesse can’t refuse (3mins)

  26.00 Walt goes to see Pinkman at night. 27.30 Walt makes Jesse an offer: you and I partner up, to cook crystal meth. “Either that, or I turn you in.”

I’m not an expert on TV drama structure but it strikes me how we have a mid point with almost the exact dynamics as the best mid points in film. The two main antagonistic characters meet in person for the first time and the story takes a dramatically different direction. It is a major reversal that turns a threat (cancer) into an opportunity (give his family what he’s never given them). This episode mid point is at the same time the end of Act One for the whole season. Walt’s goal is clear: to make enough money to set up his family for life.

Act Three

Preparing to cook (9mins)

  29.00 Marie pries on the Whites’ life, inquires about Walt’s changed behavior. Skyler denies. 30.00 Walt shops for cooking tools and containers at school. 30.30 Walt sets the standards with Jesse, who in stead claims cooking is an art, not chemistry. 32.30 Where are we gonna cook? They decide on an RV. 34.30 Jesse wants to know why all this. “Sixty and breaking bad?” Walt: “I am awake.” 35.00 Walt Jr is fitting pants, with Walt and Skyler. Bullies make fun of him. 37.00 Walt takes on the bullies, attacks their kingpin. All freak out; they call him a psycho.

With the main plot now well underway, there’s some time for character exposition and subplots. The relationship Walt/Jesse will be volatile and Walt now protects his family with greater fervor than ever before. Interesting to see how the third act out (the act climax) happens on a positive note, accentuated by the uplifting score. Often Act Three has the ‘all is lost’ or ‘lowest point’ that we find in movies at the end of Act Two. Here it is the silence before the storm as Act Four will again give us a major twist, leading to a powerful climax.

Act Four

Back with a vengeance (14mins)

  38.00 Walt & Jesse drive into the desert. “Let’s cook here.” 39.30 Jesse films Walt during the cooking, makes fun of him. Cooking montage. 41.00 Glass grade. “This is art, Mr White.” “Iron Chef!” 42.00 Jesse tries to sell to Crazy-8, Emilio’s cousin. “Back with a vengeance!” They think Jesse snitched. 44.00 Emilio appears, made bail. They ask where he got the meth from. 44.30 Walt at RV, Crazy-8 & co arrive. Emilio recognizes Walt: with DEA. They pull their guns and tie up Jesse. 46.30 Walt is forced to cook; uses red phosphorus to cause a chemical reaction that takes them out. 48.30 Walt frees Jesse. A fire starts as they drive off. 50.00 BACK TO TEASER: Walt standing with gun, sirens. Considers suicide momentarily. 51.30 Fire brigade drives past. Jesse comes out. 52.30 Jesse: “What happened?” Walt: “Red phosphorus…” Clean this up.

The opening of this act is a mythical threshold sequence, expressing the idea that Walt is traveling to a new world. The dialogue “back with a vengeance” sets up what is to follow: Emilio will soon literally be back with a vengeance, introducing the final act climax. For the first time we see the consequences of Walt’s other explosive relationship, with the DEA, through his brother-in-law Hank. This is one of many potential future conflicts set up in this first episode.

Tag

Reaping the rewards (2mins)

  54.00 Laundering money. Literally. 54.30 Walt and Skyler in bed, making love passionately. “Walt? Is that you?”

Don’t forget to download the screenplay of that first episode. You’ll see that not only is Breaking Bad a fabulous show to watch, the script is pure delight to read. Enjoy!

– Karel Segers

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

by Ingrid Elkner

Because if you’re like most of Australia’s younger generation, and a growing proportion of the other generations, you don’t seek out high quality entertainment from your idiot box. You steal it off the internet.

Torrents! DVD burning! Piracy! Dirty, dirty words… But a crime that many of us have become complacent with. Why? If you are offered over-boiled vegetables and tough steak, but on the table next to you is an unclaimed lobster dinner, you dart your eyes side to side, make sure the coast is clear, and devour that ocean beast hand over fist until your face is covered with fatty crustacean juice and a glazed over haze of contentment.

We may be geographically ‘isolated’ in Australia, but we’re no back-water bush whackers. We love to be provoked, titillated, amused, and sometimes even confused. Even though none of us understood everything they said in Deadwood (or even half of it if we’re really honest), it’s no reflection on our intelligence, but a testament to the amazing skills of the writers of that show.

We love to be provoked, titillated, amused,
and sometimes even confused.

Writing you don’t tend to see in Australia. Writing that doesn’t get funded in Australia.

So why don’t we see smart stuff in Aus? Well, we do. Some of it is Australian, some British, some American. But we don’t want to wait 10 months after a show has aired in the States to get it here. Why were we left drooling yesterday, while all fans of Walter White celebrate the start of the final season? We shouldn’t be meeting Beverley and Sean Lincoln in ‘Episodes’ only now – we should be watching season 2 along with America (who just finished the second season as we crack open season 1).

But what is the root of this problem? It appears to lie with the executives of Australian television networks.  To be fair, I’ve never met a television executive here, only heard the horror stories they leave in their wake (Tim Ferguson has some crackers in his stand-up show, ‘Carry a Big Stick’). Tales of small-minded, footy-brained, tits-and-beer-loving bogans with a background in advertising and no sense of art (and no ability to decipher satire). They don’t like women, they don’t like anything new, and they think that just because they put out crap and it gets watched, we’re all sheep who love that crap. Baa.

Tales of small-minded, footy-brained, tits-and-beer-loving bogans
with a background in advertising

Feel free to debate that if you are a forward-thinking, intellectual, emotionally-driven executive with a desire for equality and evolution in television. No, I dare you. Because watching Australian television from the womb, I don’t think you exist. I think you’re the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Bindi Irwin’s childhood.

And you leave young screenwriters, like me, chomping at the bit to run away overseas where we will be treated better, have our writing better respected, and be paid. Money. Real money. London and LA calling. Instead of trapping the best writers in Australia and keeping them happy, allowing them to express their unique visions, and encouraging diversity in that vision, executives are letting the cream of the crop fly away to distant lands. And if you’ve ever enjoyed Californian sunshine, you’ll know why they don’t tend to come back.

So while we, the analytical, progressive, eager viewers use up our data caps on downloading the latest Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Game of Thrones, American Horror Story, Louie, and Napoleon Dynamite (the animated series) , bypassing the condescending ads our TV execs so desperately want us to watch and brainlessly buy from, those very same execs are busy creating new shows for us. How nice of them!

No, not nice. They created Being Lara Bingle. They created The Shire. Bimbo reality TV. Because if people watched Charlie Sheen for 8 years chat about screwing bimbos in front of a fat kid and the weirdo from Pretty in Pink, then we as a nation must love shallow people and want to see them on our screens. Sure, us smarties are not their target audience.

They’re shooting for the phallogocentric bogan turds with hot mags on their cars. Their people. But in doing so, they don’t just make us change the channel – they make us switch off our TVs and retreat to the fresh and relatable worlds found in the pirate bays.

They’re shooting for the phallogocentric bogan turds
with hot mags on their cars.

The waters are warm, and even though each dip we take destroys the film & television ecosystem a little more, stealing from the cast, crew, and writers who put their blood, sweat, and teeth into their productions, (and many of us hate this fact, especially us baby writers,) we currently can see no alternative.

That lobster dinner is just too damn good to give up for over-boiled vegetables and tough steak.

-Ingrid Elkner

Ingrid Elkner exists in human form and as a finger-puppet.

She’s had fiction printed in anthologies, articles published on comedy sites, creates sketches and comics for her own comedy blog 10 Minutes Later, and is the writer of new short film, THE PROWLER, starring Colette O’Neil.

Ingrid studies screenwriting in Melbourne and shakes her fist at offensively-shaped clouds.

Ingrid Elkner

Ingrid Elkner exists in human form and as a finger-puppet.
She’s had fiction printed in anthologies, articles published on comedy sites, creates sketches and comics for her own comedy blog 10 Minutes Later , and is the writer of new short film, THE PROWLER, starring Colette O’Neil.

Ingrid studies screenwriting in Melbourne and shakes her fist at offensively-shaped clouds.

www.10minuteslater.com