Comments on: The Judges – Circalit Loglines (1) https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-judges-circalit-1/ Story. Screenplay. Sale. Fri, 18 Nov 2011 03:41:24 +0000 hourly 1 By: Karel Segers https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-judges-circalit-1/#comment-1094 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 03:41:24 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=20108#comment-1094 In reply to Warren Paul Glover.

Hi Warren,

I’ve corrected the typo and removed any reference to it.

Because of the scarcity of story elements in the logline, it almost reads like a tagline. You may need to reveal more about what Keithy’s struggle is really about, what the stakes are and how the teachers can be worthy antagonists.

Good luck with it!

Karel

]]> By: Warren Paul Glover https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-judges-circalit-1/#comment-1093 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:41:07 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=20108#comment-1093 The dig at the teachers is purely tongue-in-cheek (while our anti-hero has a gripe with his old teachers, the writer doesn’t so Frances you can relax). That’s why the logline is written as it is, to try and allude to the comedic elements in the film. That the audience doesn’t know who to blame is, indeed, one of the themes explored in the film: there are two versions of an event that happened in Keithy’s past; his and that of one of his teachers. Thanks for the feedback. Food for thought.

Warren Paul Glover – writer ‘2 x 3’

]]> By: Frances Crum https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-judges-circalit-1/#comment-1092 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:52:13 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=20108#comment-1092 oops my poor self-editing skills – should read ‘trying to stop them’ or ‘while another cult…’ Sorry was in a hurry.

]]> By: Frances Crum https://www.thestorydepartment.com/the-judges-circalit-1/#comment-1091 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 14:58:08 +0000 https://thestorydepartment.com/?p=20108#comment-1091 It would have been nice if 2×3 had spelt their properly. Anyway I am a bit fed up with everyone paying out on teachers – if you have a gripe against one do what the rest of us have done – suck it up and deal with it. Besides which it is just plain boring unless it is in the vein of ‘My name is Earl’ – then it might have a lot more going for it.

Oh Dear Lord Relics. Hummmm. A bit like the idea behind The Boys from Brazil crossed with the Da Vinci Code. Instead of Jesus perhaps they should be a cult dedicated to Judas who Jesus tricked into being the scapegoat and betraying him. Their hope is that the mysticism of the resurrection can be used when particular forces converge and they are racing against time to find them all with another cult within the Church (members drawn from all denominations) tries to stop them. That at least should turn scripture on its head and be able to use the Gospel of Judas as the basis.

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