Comments on: The Judges: Week 1

By: russell

russell — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 05:16:30 +0000

What a great concept for a recurring feature. I agree with the analysis. Even though I don’t care for the Angst of a Lemming title, it does make me curious to know what it’s about. Unfortunately, the logline didn’t help at all.

By: david

david — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 08:04:22 +0000

Yeah second one is waste of time, telling us nothing except that it is something that exists in well worn territory. And yeah the first one depends on the telling because it’s classic.

My contribution here is to say that the existing first synopsis suggests it’s a comedy because the hero is obviously weak and puts himself in a compromised situation. Jack’s alternative suggestion makes it sound more like a social realist essay by removing the character’s name and bringing the issue of faith into it. Sounds a lot less engaging, even though it ostensibly adds to the mix of elements.

By: peter

peter — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 04:31:41 +0000

In this article by Michael Ferris, https://ur1.ca/2ybs9, he illustrates how to write a formulaic premise proposed by some texts and how to sell your idea using Titanic as an example. Apart from the author’s writing style it does succinctly show why the above two examples fail. Thnxs

By: David Di Muro

David Di Muro — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:09:49 +0000

Second one stinks. The first one is great, and just needs the stakes outlined in the closing sentence to be a great log line. With a good cast (and script of course) I would be very eager to see it.

By: Ed Love

Ed Love — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 07:39:52 +0000

Thanks, this is very timely. I always find it helpful to learn from examples, to see in practice what works & what doesn’t.

For now, I’ve got nothing to add to the judges’ comments. As usual, high stakes, conflict and specificity are crucial.

I’m currently crafting my own logline, as well as a synopsis, title, etc. Just for fun, I’m also rewriting a screenplay to go with them :)

Keep ’em coming!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 15:11:37 +0000

Wow, I agreed with the polls. This is great fun. Thanks judges. Very helpful to me, as I’m trying to come up with a good logline for the thriller I just wrote.