Adrian Kok – The Story Department

Best o/t Web 31 Jul

Adrian Kok — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 02:16:34 +0000

Story & Structure

:: More ladies please
:: ‘Alien’: Looking back in horror

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: Sure in your action lines
:: Margaret Atwood’s 10 rules for writing fiction
:: Cinematic geography and the problem of genius
:: 101 habits of highly successful screenwriters
:: Writing themes
:: No excuses?

Best of the Rest

:: Guillermo Del Toro at Comic-Con
:: Create a myth
:: How algorithms shape our world
:: Geek Out!: The lure of Comic-Con
Is there only one?
:: Second chances
:: Non-linear storytelling
:: How to conquer your second act
:: 5 keys to writing a summer blockbuster

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: A good monologue | Relationship subplot
:: Tea & Sympathy
:: Writing fight scenes
:: What kind of writer are you?

Pitching & Selling

:: Do I need an entertainment lawyer?

Best of the Rest

:: Subliminal themes in Hitchcock’s Psycho
:: Midnight In Paris: Woody Allen’s top grossing pic in North America

_______________________________

With thanks to Adrian.

Enjoy!

Karel

Best o/t Web 10 July

Adrian Kok — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 04:09:38 +0000

Story & Structure

:: How a good script can become a bad movie

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: Speed
:: 2 stories about ourselves
:: Tim Powers on research

Pitching & Selling

:: How much do writers make on DVD sales?

Best of the Rest

:: Every Michael Bay movie under a minute
:: 20 best taglines from the last 30 years of movies
:: Plot device and cheap VFX
:: Is Terrence Malick assuming Stanley Kubrick’s mantle?
:: Gripping on Reservoir Dogs
_______________________________

With thanks to Adrian.

Enjoy!

Karel

Best o/t Web 3 July

Adrian Kok — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 15:20:24 +0000

Story & Structure

:: 10 screenwriting tips you can learn from Say Anything
:: The Long Goodbye by Robert Altman

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: A good twist | Everyone’s carrying something
:: Formatting an interview montage
:: Zen and the art of scribal maintenance

Pitching & Selling

:: What sells a scipt? Hollywood exec weighs in
:: Don’t ask, tell

Best of the Rest

:: Vacation tip: where to find writers
:: 10 best Pixar characters
:: How reality TV killed the soap opera
:: Life begins at 75
:: Script cops
_______________________________

With thanks to Adrian.

Enjoy!

Karel

Best o/t Web 19 Jun

Adrian Kok — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 14:43:07 +0000

Story & Structure

:: Saw myself some Super 8
:: 10 ways at looking at The Dark Knight
:: Theme vs territory
:: What kind of story are you writing?

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: Subvert expectations | Network
:: Outlines aren’t essential
:: Healthy perfectionism

Pitching & Selling

:: Networking
:: Spec script sale: Bastards
:: How to break into TV and other questions

Best of the Rest

:: What everybody wants to see
:: Where has all the drama gone?
:: Steve Carrell’s surprise script doctor: Jason Reitman
_______________________________

With thanks to Adrian.

Enjoy!

Karel

The Judges: Week 21

Adrian Kok — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:01:16 +0000

10 judges review two short synopses from films that are currently in development.

The objective is to all (that includes us judges) learn from the exercise.

Please comment on our comments!

photo credit: swanksalot

If you have an opinion on any of these synopses or the feedback from the judges, please share it with us in the comments below.

Please keep the discussion constructive. Even if your first instinct may be subjective, try to give us as objective a reply as possible.

WORM

“When obese 25-year-old Nigel Higson joins a medical trial for a radical new weight loss treatment the kilos begin to fall off, but the side effects are deadly – for him and his love life.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 20% – No: 20% – Not sure: 60%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 10% – No: 0% – Not sure: 90%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 10% – No: 30% – Not sure: 60%

The judges’ verdict:

Steven: Reasonable and clear set up. And the character has a compelling motive to attempt something experimental, even life-threatening. I would have gone a bit further to emphasise the character’s motive and consequences. For example, “Nigel, a hyper-obese loser with women, is given the chance to submit to a radical medical procedure that will dissolve away all the kilos. The procedure will give him the confidence to hit the nightclubs with a vengeance. Except that side effects start emerging … Side effects deadly to both his body and his manhood.” But, otherwise, the synopsis is on the right track. It just needs to be more vivid to the reader.

Good idea for a thriller/horror film if that’s what it is.

Ursula: Side Efffects are of a horror variety or thriller? I think we need to know a bit about the side effects to really get sucked in without giving away too much. Good idea for a thriller/horror film if that’s what it is.

I’m intrigued because I can’t quite put together how the weight loss and love life are tied together.

Margaret: Hmmm, I’m intrigued because I can’t quite put together how the weight loss and love life are tied together. Is this a horror? The logline certainly reads like it is. If so, then I’d like to know more about the threat. Just saying “deadly consequences” is not scary enough if I don’t know what is bringing about those consequences or what they are going to be.

SIBLINGS

“An ensemble comedy about five young people all connected by the same sperm donor dad and their quest to find him.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 40% – No: 20% – Not sure: 40%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 20% – No: 0% – Not sure: 80%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 40% – No: 10% – Not sure: 50%

The judges’ verdict:

Dan: There’s potential here for an Apatow (or sub-Apatow) broad comedy and they can work really well. Not enough about the characters – what differentiates them is as important as what binds them together.

There’s potential here for an Apatow (or sub-Apatow) broad comedy

Nina: An ensemble cast still requires one point of view for the audience to follow. The inciting incident that starts the story is not evident. Is it when they find out about each other or when they begin their search together? The goal – to find their father – is stated but not the stakes or the antagonist. The writer should emphasize where the comedic elements are imbedded, within the characters or the world in which the characters inhabit.

An ensemble cast still requires one point of view for the audience to follow.

Jack: This could be very good and very funny, but the writer is not telling us much here. How about one or two character sketches so we can see how the humour will be generated?

The Judges (click for details)

So what is your verdict? Would you want to see these films? Why (not)? Did the judges get it right? How would you improve the synopses/loglines and what do you feel might improve the stories behind them?

Please give us your opinion in the comments at the bottom of this page.

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Best o/t Web 12 Jun

Adrian Kok — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:53:08 +0000

Story & Structure

:: Great moments in romantic comedy
:: RomCom truisms

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: Push through | Tell someone
:: How to craft a damn good logline
:: Visual storytelling

Pitching & Selling

:: Business of screenwriting: Your first big check
:: Get a manager

Best of the Rest

:: 40 filmmaking podcasts you should be listening to
:: 9 ways to guarantee success (and failure)
:: List of most common family names by country
:: Jeffrey Katzenberg on the decline of 3D
_______________________________

With thanks to Adrian.

Enjoy!

Karel

The Judges: Week 20

Adrian Kok — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 03:28:52 +0000

In 2011, each week 10 judges will review two short synopses from films that are currently in development.

The objective is to all (that includes us judges) learn from the exercise.

Please comment on our comments!

photo credit: swanksalot

If you have an opinion on any of these synopses or the feedback from the judges, please share it with us in the comments below.

Please keep the discussion constructive. Even if your first instinct may be subjective, try to give us as objective a reply as possible.

BLACK ECHOES

“A group of international tourists are taken off the beaten path to an isolated village deep in the Vietnamese countryside. They are promised a Viet Cong tunnel crawl experience that makes the famous Cu Chi Tunnels seem like a playground… Tighter, more claustrophobic, scarier – they get their money’s worth and then some.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 50% – No: 40% – Not sure: 10%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 40% – No: 10% – Not sure: 50%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 30% – No: 10% – Not sure: 60%

The judges’ verdict:

Margaret: I’m intrigued. The genre is definitely made clear by the claustrophobic setting, although I’m not sure as much time should have been spent talking about the tunnels. I don’t know what the Cu Chi Tunnels are, so words are wasted on using that reference. All we need to know is, scary, claustrophobic tunnels in Vietnam. This synopsis doesn’t say anything about the characters, or what kind of unexpected trouble they might face in these tunnels. Overall this logline needs less setting and more story.

The genre is definitely made clear by the claustrophobic setting, although I’m not sure as much time should have been spent talking about the tunnels.

Dan: You can say the Chu Chi Tunnels are famous as much as you like but I’ve never heard of them and that holds back my enthusiasm for this one. Like so many of these loglines they are reminiscent of other recent films (in this case The Descent and Sanctum) and I need more reassurance that the approach is going to be innovative.

The story sounds exciting but the synopsis is just a sequence of events.

Jack: The story sounds exciting but the synopsis is just a sequence of events. How about, “A group of international tourists, hoping for the experience of a lifetime, enter a Viet Cong tunnel complex in an isolated village… with cataclysmic results.”

REMARKABLE CREATURES

“Together, one woman’s gift and another’s determination result in one of the most important scientific discoveries of the 19th century, transcending class and social prejudice. A revealing portrait of the intricate and resilient nature of female friendship, based on the acclaimed novel by Tracey Chevalier.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 45% – No: 0% – Not sure: 55%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 10% – No: 10% – Not sure: 80%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 10% – No: 0% – Not sure: 90%

The judges’ verdict:

Ursula: Why can’t we be told WHAT this important scientific discovery is? I think it would be stronger if we were told. That way you draw the guys into seeing this film as well.

Why can’t we be told WHAT this important scientific discovery is?

Steven: Firstly, tell us the specific personality traits about the two key woman and a lot less about the social themes the film aims to explore. Show us what makes the two contrast each other. For example, “A brilliant and vociferous ideas woman teams with a quiet, yet glacially determined, researcher to make a scientific breakthrough that will change the world.” Secondly, where’s the conflict? What specific prejudices (or opponents) will the women have to contend with? For example, “despite the contempt of the Victorian gentry and the hidden agenda of an unscrupulous French baron with money to splurge.” Tell us about these things more than any other.

What were the stakes for these women in making this discovery and who was their antagonist?

Nina: The summary of the film’s story is what is missing in this synopsis. Also, it is set out a little haphazardly. We are given a brief description of these women and the completion of their goal – their scientific discovery – in Act 3. However, the inciting incident and Act 2 are absent. What were the stakes for these women in making this discovery and who was their antagonist? Including these elements would add more weight to what could be a very interesting movie.

The Judges (click for details)

So what is your verdict? Would you want to see these films? Why (not)? Did the judges get it right? How would you improve the synopses/loglines and what do you feel might improve the stories behind them?

Please give us your opinion in the comments at the bottom of this page.

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The Judges: Week 19

Adrian Kok — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 02:15:52 +0000

In 2011, each week 10 judges will review two short synopses from films that are currently in development.

The objective is to all (that includes us judges) learn from the exercise.

Please comment on our comments!

photo credit: swanksalot

If you have an opinion on any of these synopses or the feedback from the judges, please share it with us in the comments below.

Please keep the discussion constructive. Even if your first instinct may be subjective, try to give us as objective a reply as possible.

JULIAN CORKLE IS A FILTHY LIAR

“A hilarious romp through family life and black-sheepedness in small town and then slightly larger town Tasmania in the 1980s. Based on the best-selling novel.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 0% – No: 80% – Not sure: 20%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 0% – No: 60% – Not sure: 40%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 0% – No: 90% – Not sure: 10%

The judges’ verdict:

Steven: This synopsis tells us nothing important or compelling. Who is the protagonist? Tell us enough to care about him (or her). Don’t simply claim the story is “hilarious” … Give us a sense of what is actually going to happen and so convey to us how ‘hilarious’ the whole film might be. Also what (if anything) is interesting about the small town? Tell us enough about the people and events of this town to convince the reader that the film will be of interest to city or overseas viewers.

By all means tell us it is a comedy but don’t tell us it is hilarious.

Nina: A synopsis should include the main character, his goal, the stakes/conflicts and the antagonist. Not everyone will be familiar with the book. By all means tell us it is a comedy but don’t tell us it is hilarious. I would prefer to be sold on the strength of a synopsis and see for myself its comedic possibilities.

Why can’t the writer find a better phrase than “black-sheepedness” and why “slightly larger town”?

Jack: Rather than tell us it is a hilarious romp, why tell us more about the story? What is funny about it? Why can’t the writer find a better phrase than “black-sheepedness” and why “slightly larger town”?

A MURDER OF CROWS

“Lost love brought him there, cold-blooded murder kept him there, now dark vengeance takes flight.”

The judges’ votes:

Do you want to see this film?

Yes: 0% – No: 50% – Not sure: 50%

Would Australians want to see it?

Yes: 0% – No: 50% – Not sure: 50%

Would it work in rest of the world?

Yes: 10% – No: 50% – Not sure: 40%

The judges’ verdict:

Adrian: I’m intrigued by this because it makes for a good tagline in a movie preview. But a logline needs more information on the character and what makes this different.

The only story points I get out of this is that a man takes revenge for the murder of his love.

Margaret: This is certainly not a logline. This is a tagline and a wordy one at that. The only story points I get out of this is that a man takes revenge for the murder of his love. That describes a huge list of movies that have already been made. What makes this one different?

It’s a tagline not a logline. Great title though.

Dan: How can anyone make a ticket-buying decision based on this? It’s a tagline not a logline. Great title though. Sounds like it could be based on a book but I’m too lazy to Google it.