WRITERS: Lawrence Kasdan, JJ Abrams & Micheal Arndt.

SCRIPT BIO: The 7th instalment in the Star Wars Franchise.

THE FORCE AWAKENS – STORY

** SPOILERS **

POE, the best fighter pilot of the Resistance, has procured the location of Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi alive and the last hope the Republic has of defeating the New Order. Just as he’s about to express deliver it back to princess — sorry, ‘General’ Leia, he’s attacked by the awesome Kylo Ren.

Kylo is a young wannabe Darth Vader. He’s not as naturally bad-ass as Darth, but he certainly aspires to be. Poe safe-stores the location of Luke in his droid, and tells him to hide, then Poe is taken hostage.

Before Kylo can extract the location of the location of Luke Skywalker from Poe, a Storm Trooper soon to be known as Finn has a crises of conscious and deciding that storm trooper-ing isn’t all he thought it’d be cracked up to be, he defects, helping Poe to escape.

Meanwhile back on Jakku – the planet where Poe left his droid and the all-important thumb-drive that contains Skywalker’s whereabouts, Rey, a scavenger with the unique ability to do anything she puts her mind to, befriends Poe’s Droid – hence forth known as BB-8.

Finn and Poe crash-land back on Jakku, with Kylo hot on their heels. He wants Skywalker’s location and he wants it bad.

Rey and Finn stumble into each other and flee in the Millennium Falcon just before Kylo can nab them.

They are then stopped by the tractor beam of a quote-un-quote ‘massive freighter’. Rey and Finn are pretty sure it’s the First Order after them, but when the door blasts open, there stands Han Solo and Chewie.

They’re soon joined by two rival gangs that Han has diddled out of 50 grand a piece. These gangs seem set on killing Han and Chewie, then taking the Millennium Falcon, presumably as repayment for their lost investments in Han’s mis-adventures. In an attempt to save their get away vehicle, Rey accidentally opens the doors to a holding room where some dastardly part-gorilla-part-killer-octopus have been hitherto contained.

These creatures go on a  rampage conveniently killing everyone that stands in the way of our heroes getting back on track with the main canon of the story. Once Rey has again saved the day, she and Finn team up with Han and Chewie and get the hell out of there.

Kylo and General Hux inform the infamous Snoke – the 25 foot tall holographic uncle of Gollum that the location of Luke Skywalker will soon be in the hands of the Republic, if that happens all their dreams of ruling the universe like Kim Jong Ill ruled North Korea will be nothing more than that – dreams.

In Snoke’s infinite wisdom, he advises them to power up the ‘big gun’ – a death-star much larger than the Empire’s death-star that has a terrible carbon footprint using all the power from a nearby sun to run it.

Meanwhile, Han and Rey land the Millennium Falcon on the green planet of Takonda.

Here Han meets up with Maz, a myopic elderly lady with a penchant for Wookiees.
As they discuss plans, Rey ‘accidentally’ finds Luke Skywalker’s old light sabre, and this awakens in her the Force.

This awakening of the Force leads Kylo and his crew to Takonda, but not before they use the uber-death-star gun to blow up a couple of planets run by the Republic.

Amidst the ensuing battle Kylo kidnaps Rey. He knows she knows where the droid is and he knows he can get what he wants out of her head as he has full use of the force.

Finn, Han and Chewie fly to the Resistance base where they team up with Leia, Poe CP30 and an R2D2 who has taken way too much lithium.

Together they formulate how they’re going to get Rey back and blow up the uber-death-star before it has a chance to blow them up.

The question is will they succeed?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

Just a note before we continue, I prefer to deconstruct un-produced screenplays. I feel there is more to be learned from looking at a blue-print for a would-be film, than analysing a script from a film that everyone has already seen. Even more so, a film that is produced by some of the the most successful film makers in the world.

I’m doing this deconstruction of The Force Awakens, as the story guru Karel Segers suggested I do it.

Before I get into the deconstruction of the screenplay, I think it’s important to acknowledge a few things first.

The Force Awakens is quickly becoming the most successful film of all time. There is no doubt that this film is a HUGE success both financially and critically.

With that said there are a few bullet holes in this screenplay.

Let’s get into it…

CONCEPT

No brainer. This is a franchise that has proven its validity. The concept here isn’t so much about the story, or the idea of the Force, the concept here is about the Franchise.

The concept is, ‘let’s make another Star Wars film’ – it doesn’t matter how you execute that, you’re going to make money.

But that feels like a cheat.

The concept here is ‘Good and Evil fight for control of the Force of life.’ Esoteric when put like that, but we all know that the execution delivers. So with that in mind…

CONCEPT RATING 9/10

CONCEPT TIP: Aim to create a franchise with your story if possible. A lot of films don’t make money on the first instalment, but subsequent instalments – if even not half as good as the first – are more likely to make money.
FORM
Here is a great reason why I prefer to deconstruct un-produced screenplays. There is a different way of writing a spec’ to writing something you are producing and directing.

There’s a different standard.

In a spec’ screenplay you don’t direct the camera. If you’re producing and directing, you can direct the camera all you want.

In a spec’ you don’t underline or use CAPS in dialogue. If you’re producing and directing you can underline and use CAPS all you want.

In a spec’ you keep your descriptions lean for easy reading. If you’re producing and directing you can write descriptions as detailed as you want.

In a spec’ you don’t write what the characters are thinking, you show, but if you’re … you get it.

The screenplay for The Force Awakens directs the camera, uses underlines and CAPS in dialogue and also quite often has clunky descriptions filled with things that will never appear on the screen and therefore shouldn’t be in the script.

FORM RATING: 6/10

FORM TIP: Descriptions of characters. Be clear and concise. In The Force Awakens, character descriptions were almost non-existent. Again, it’s Star Wars, so they can do what they want. But for everyone else, get your character description across in two lines or less and convey their — Psychology – state of mind, Physiognomy – how they look, and Sociology – their standing in society.

STRUCTURE

I’m not going to do a full Hero’s Journey break down of The Force Awakens. I’m sure there’ll be many others out there who will do this.

Instead here I’ll focus on other elements of the story that were structure related that didn’t work.

I think one of the major problems with this screenplay stems from the two main character’s flaws. And if we back up just a moment, right there is another problem with this screenplay – there are TWO main characters.

I know it’s Star Wars, and Star Wars is an ensemble film, (meaning multiple players of equal importance and screen time) but ensemble films are notoriously difficult for the audience to engage with for a myriad of factors.

Despite this film being a huge financial success, not one person I’ve spoken to about it feels they really engaged with the story. Not in the same way millions if not billions of people engaged with the original Star Wars.

Let’s go back to the flaws of our heroes, as structure ties into flaws.

The call to adventure should be a test of the Hero’s flaw.

Let’s look at Rey. What is her flaw? She’s deceiving herself into believing her family will come back and pick her up. She’s lying to herself that she hasn’t been abandoned.

When Rey bumps into the droid with Skywalker’s location in it, it forces her to break out of her myopic rut and leave the planet. I guess in that sense her call to adventure does test her flaw, but she seems only to happy to leave. Being attacked by stormtroopers is a strong motivator, but even still, what I felt was missing from Rey’s story was a strong refusal of the call.

It’s not until later on, page 65, when Rey in confronted with Luke’s light sabre that we get a strong refusal of ‘a call’ from her. She flat-out does not want to know what that strange hallucination/conscious-dream was all about.

When that happened in the film, it felt like her real call to adventure. If that were the case, it’s coming way to late and it changes her flaw also.

The main problem with Rey is the lack of clarity of her flaw. I’m still not 100% sure what her flaw is. What’s the best way to describe someone who lies to themselves about something?

She’s in denial.

But at the start of the film she’s in denial about something that someone else (her family) has done to her – namely – abandon her. That’s an external event that hasn’t manifested itself in any way other than causing her to deny that that’s really the case.

When she confronts Luke’s light sabre, she refuses to believe that she has the Force within her. This is internal, and feels more like a real flaw.

Either way, for me, the way it stands, it’s muddy.

Finn’s flaw is that he’s a coward. He’s constantly running away from everything. This is a much clearer flaw to grasp. But with that said, it’s an inconsistent flaw, as it takes a hell of a lot of guts to defect from the New Order. So while his flaw is clearer, it’s not consistent.

STRUCTURE RATING: 6/10

STRUTURE TIP: Having a clearly defined and consistent flaw for your Hero will help you to create a clearer structure.

CHARACTERS

As there are a dozen characters in The Force Awakens, I’ll keep this general, rather than going into each character individually.

Again, this is a problem with deconstructing a produced screenplay. We know what the characters look like, how they talk, who the actors are. What I’m interested in is how they appeared on the page.

So, going off only the screenplay…

Rey is a strong leader, capable of everything, Finn is a follower, cowardly in his ways.

It feels like there is a definite disparity here which is a great start. But the problem with these two characters is that they don’t feel real.

Rey is a strong leader – but she’s too strong. There’s nothing she can’t do. There’s nothing she is challenged by.

Finn is the conflicted coward that wants to run from everything. But again these traits feel super imposed by a writer rather than feeling like they stem from within him naturally.

Take Han from the original Star Wars. He wanted to run from everything, but it wasn’t because he was a coward, it’s because he was selfish. That character flaw played out naturally in everything he did. It also led to the conflict between him and Leia.

All the characters in The Force Awakens felt like stereotypes, none of them felt real.

Okay, maybe BB-8 felt real.

CHARACTER RATING 6/10

CHARACTER TIP: Create characters that have in-built conflict. This was a problem for The Force Awakens – all the characters got along really well. Rey, Han, Chewie, Finn, 88-B, Poe, Maz, they were all best friends.

Imagine the original Star Wars without the conflict between Han and Leia.

DIALOGUE

Wow, this was one of the main detractors for The Force Awakens. Dialogue was always on the nose. And humour was so often mis-used and mis-timed.

Very little differentiation between any of the way the characters speak.

DIALOGUE RATING 4/10

DIALOGUE TIP: Do a just-dialogue pass of your screenplay. Do an edit focusing ONLY on the way your characters speak. It will bolster your script no end.

VOICE

This section is redundant for a film like this. But while I’m here I may as well comment that The Force Awakens screenplay was lacking in the voice department. The writing was perfectly functional, but there was little zap or zing that pulled you along.

VOICE RATING 6/10

VOICE TIP: Have you gone to safe? Screen writers will often over-edit their screenplays, removing those elements and quirks that help their script stand out from the masses. Beware not to over trim your screenplays or they’ll read too dry.

PRODUCTION

High concept, sci-fi with multiple locations on multiple planets with a cast of hundreds with loads of high level VFX required. We’re looking at 100 mill plus.

Actually production budget was 200 million.

But with a franchise like this it’s a safe bet.

SUMMARY

The Force Awakens was a fun ride. More so the end film that the script. It has its bullet holes. Mis-timed humour, a main character that can do anything she tries. The entire story felt too easy. Never once did I think, ‘hey, you know what, they might not make it.’ But for all that it was an enjoyable film that is quickly becoming the most financially successful film of all time. So no matter how many problems it has, you can only knock it so much.

OVERALL RATING 6.5/10

-Samuel Bartlett

(published first at https://deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au)

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/

(Note from Karel: Some of this article was cut because Sam’s overly generous attribution to The Story Series.)

-By Samuel Bartlett

READ IF YOU WANT TO WRITE

What’s the point?

There are a LOT of unproduced screenplays out there. Really fucking good ones you can learn bucket loads from. If you’ve got a bit of spare time and know your way around Google, you can find whole PACKS of UNPRODUCED SCREENPLAYS  – I’m talking hundreds of scripts that are doing the rounds in LA, right now.

Read that shit, see what these people are doing that you’re not. Even better, read their shit and analyse it, what works, what doesn’t. If you were a producer with 5 million dollars and a family to feed, which script would you buy? Would you take one, would you take 5 smaller scripts at a mill’ a pop?

Start thinking like the person that’s going to buy your scripts then sit down and write the ultimate film YOU want to see, but keep that buyer in mind.

THE STORY SERIES

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Karel Segers in here somewhere.

Yes. This is his website. Yes I am writing this as a favour to him (no money BTW) but do you know what Karel has given me…?

Pretty much EVERYTHING no other screenwriting teacher has given me.

Start thinking like the person that’s going to buy your scripts then sit down and write the ultimate film YOU want to see, but keep that buyer in mind.

I need to qualify that by saying that I’ve studied at AFTRS, I did my Master in Screen Writing at Sydney Uni, and while the teacher there is a great man, the curriculum of what they taught in an ENTIRE YEAR didn’t come close to what I took away from my first class of, what was it, about two hours with Karel.

I’m still studying with Karel, and will continue to do so until I can out wit him in film – let me say, that will be a loooooong time coming. (The word ‘long’ looks so much better elongated. Am I wrong?)

[OMITTED]

Anyhoo, enough of all that, you get my point…

I hope that in here there’s been some sort of advice you can take away to help you. I hate reading shit written by people, or interviews with screenwriters that have ‘broken in’ only to find it’s basically a recount of their glory days with little to no insight into how to better yourself.

Great, that person’s getting somewhere, how does that help me?

If nothing else, and if you are serious about screenwriting, then make it your daily ritual to read Script Shadow (just Google it) it’s a daily updated script writing blog-spot with a wealth of filmic knowledge.

I’ve learnt fuck loads from there.

Happy writing people.

Happy writing.

-Samuel Bartlett

Part 1 – The Beginnings
Part 2 – Cars and Cops
Part 3 – The Truth about Comps
Part 4 – The Law of Causation

Photo Credit: luis de bethencourt
Photo Credit: Sharon Terry
Photo Credit: Metro Screen

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/

By Samuel Bartlett

The Law of Causation

So why not forgive my little lack of logic at that last turn.

No. You really can’t do that.

That’s what re-writing and polishing is. You go through every little crease, really finely and iron out every single one of those bumps.

Everything has to make sense. Everything has to link, every scene has to feed into the next. Speaking about beats making sense, flowing into the next etc…

Here’s something I just learnt recently that is screenwriting gold…

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the South Park creators figured that if they can take the beat sheet of your film script and put the words AND THEN between every beat, basically your script is fucked.

The words between the beats of a beat sheet of a great film should read THEREFORE or BECAUSE.

That first script I sold was a ‘found footage’ film similar in style to Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity.

During the script selling process I had approached Full Clip Productions for script sale advice. I had a friend that worked there and he gave me some great inside advice from a producer’s POV.

The words between the beats of a beat sheet of a great film
should read THEREFORE or BECAUSE.

After the sale went through, said friend approached me with an idea Sam Worthington had just pitched to him that they wanted to develop, the idea was of the found footage variety. He said they were looking for a writer for the concept, would I be interested?

The Bottom Line

I took the idea, no more than a logline, extrapolated that into a feature script and wrote my nuts off for the next month. Sent it to them, they dug it and as of last night I finished writing the third draft. (That I really should be working on instead of this…)

This same friend, let’s call him, Mike, I had sent another one of my scripts, my baby, I mentioned earlier.

Then one afternoon he calls me and says he’s put that script in the hands of a manager that really digs it, he’s flying to Sydney for 48 hours to do a bunch of shit, but he wants to meet.

That meet went really well.

I’m not writing all this to bang my drum, I really haven’t done all that much yet, it’s this notion of ‘breaking in’ that I want to get back to.

It’s not about IN or OUT, it’s about the steps along the way, each leading into the next.

You can write Lethal Weapon, you can sell a script for $3million, but unless you’re constantly at it, constantly working, constantly writing, constantly reading scripts, watching films, you can slip back OUT again.

My advice in a nutshell is to learn the craft.

It’s not about IN or OUT, it’s about the steps along the way,
each leading into the next.

When you’ve got a script that’s good, send it out to script comps.

When you place, solicit your script around town.

If you’re easily dissuaded by rejection, then quit.

Seriously. Give up. This ain’t for you.

When you do get that first foot through the door, when someone who counts does take notice of your work, make it work for you.

Dominos people, dominos.

Here’s a list of the script comps that agents and prod companies give a shit about in no particular order:

Austin Screenplay Comp. Nicholl Fellowship. Champion Screenplay Comp. Scriptapalooza. Pipeline. TrackingB (or Tracking Board). Final Draft Big Break Comp. Slam Dance. Page Awards. Expo Screen Comp.

There are others, smaller ones, but these are the ones people take notice of.

– Samuel Bartlett

Part 1 – The Beginnings
Part 2 – Cars and Cops
Part 3 – The Truth about Comps
Part 5 – Writing and Reading

Photo Credit:  The Man in Blue –  dicktay2000

[divider]

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies.

He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA.

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/

Phooey, I thought, (yes I thought Phooey – great word huh, so under used.)

-By Samuel Bartlett

PART THREE – THE TRUTH ABOUT COMPS

I conjured images of those competitions you find in supermarkets where all you have to do is fill out a brightly coloured form with your name and address and you stand to win a car, or a yacht, (I just realized I have no idea how to spell yacht – thankyou spell-check) or a holiday to a remote place with crystal waters, etc… but no body ever knew anyone that had won these prizes.

There is getting noticed, there is getting producers to read your work, and that’s where my first TIP comes into it.

I figured screenwriting comps were for chumps.

Ba-bow (its back!).

Screenwriting comps are a great ‘in’ for people with zero or little inside contacts in the functional film business.

If you ‘place,’ in a script comp it’s basically a stamp of approval that comes with your script saying, this isn’t a pile of shit, you’re not completely wasting your time reading this.

I’ve just realized how much there is to say on script comps, but I want to keep this concise so here goes…

If you ‘place,’ in a script comp
it’s basically a stamp of approval

Don’t go for the win in a comp. Placing in a comp is just as good as winning. MANY, many, times it’s the script that comes in 8^th that gets signed by an agency or made by a production company, so often the winner gets lost in obscurity.

Don’t expect the scripts comp to advance your writing career; that’s your job, not the script comp’s, even if that’s what they proclaim they’ll do if you win.

No, all they can do if you win is send out your script to producers and agents with their script comp’s stamp of approval, but get this, agents and prod companies are just as interested in reading that 8^th placing script as the winner because they KNOW that at that top level of things what defines a 1^st placing script against an 8^th placing script is so very subjective – particularly when you’re talking about a script pool of 5,800 scripts. 8^th is as good as first when you’re looking at the crème of that many scripts.

So that’s what you’ve got to do. Write that script, send it to the comps, when one does ‘place’ then it’s your job to use that accolade and start approaching prod companies. Only now when you send an email to them, (keep it super brief, professional) lead with that accolade from the script comp:

“I’m writing to you regarding a script that has just placed in the X screen writing competition.”

Most producers will read the first line of an email, they read that much, you’ve got their attention, they’ll read on.

Don’t expect the scripts comp
to advance your writing career;
that’s your job.

If a prod company is looking for scripts (and all functional prod companies are) then they’ll be a thousand times more inclined to read your script than if you just send a cold email saying, hey I’ve written a script, it’s great, my friend says so and he/she knows their shit, so fucking read it.

PLACE, THEN CLOSE

That is what I did:

My script came top ten at the Austin Film Fest in its category. I sent an email to a prod company in LA. They read it in a few days then emailed me back saying they really liked it, can we buy it?

Fuck yeah, I said…

I didn’t have an agent, a manager? But I did have a friend. Friends are great, especially when they’ve got managers and agents and have sold films and scripts. I found this friend at a party at the Austin Screen Writing Festival. Without him I would have been fucked.

Friends are great, especially when they’ve got
managers and agents and have sold films and scripts.

I had no idea what a script contract looked like. The one I ended up signing basically said that this prod company could do what the hell they want with my script, they could even get someone in to completely re-write the thing and not even give me a credit as writer.

I had no clue – but my friend ran the contract by his agent and it came back fine, just a standard contract.

We negotiated price, came up with a figure we’re both cool with, I signed, didn’t hear anything for a while, but when the financing finally came through they got in touch with me for re-writes.

Re-writes. Holy shit that was fun.

That was when I felt like a real writer, this is actually going to be made, emailing back and forth with a producer in LA, bettering the script.

The one thing I learned from that process was to never, ever, ever, underestimate a producer that’s actually MAKING movies. 

–Samuel Bartlett

Part 1 – The Beginnings
Part 2 – Cars and Cops
Part 4 – The Law of Causation
Part 5 – Writing and Reading

Photo Credit: Nomadic Lass – Shorts and Longs

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies.
He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA.
 

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/

-By Samuel Bartlett

PART 2: CARS AND COPS

Most people have driven a car – they’ve sure as hell seen a car, so what the hell is there to stop them just going and making a car.

What do you need to make a car? Well there are wheels for starters, so let’s buy four wheels. Good start, what else? An engine? Fuck, what goes in an engine – stuff and shit right? …

You get the idea of where I’m going with this. You want to build a car you study engineering – the key word there is study, something that MOST screenwriters don’t do.

So when I finally pulled my finger out, sat back and lowered the arrogance level just enough to let others tell me how scripts REALLY work, holy shit, that was a day of revelations.

There’s more to this shit than I figured damn it!

I’ve been studying film writing from 2009 until now, and just last night I learnt something new. Hell, even writing this piece I’ve learnt something new, – the importance of voice. Think about it, you can hear the way I’m writing, like I’m talking to you, this isn’t the only way I write, the first draft of this piece came out quiet, dry, point by point, soulless.

Every writer has different voices, choosing the right one for the right piece of writing (HOW you say it) is as important as WHAT you’re saying.  This brought to mind a script I read the other night, it wasn’t a great story, but fuck me if the voice wasn’t incredible, and that script sold for $750 000.

After reading it I asked why the hell did that script go for that much? Then the next day it hit me, I was still thinking about that script, and it wasn’t the story that got me, it was the tone, the voice it was told in. It got under your skin, stuck with you.

The point is, you’re always learning with this craft and if you’re not, if you ever think, fuck it, I’ve got it all down now, then you’re limiting yourself, you’re not doing the best you can.

Anyway, back on track, enough with the lessons and what not…

…so after studying at AFTRS and actually realizing that there was craft to this business of writing I wrote my first, halfway descent screenplay.

If you ever think,  fuck it, I’ve got it all down now ,
then you’re limiting yourself

That was is amazing experience, the moment when you sit back and suddenly realize that, hey, this isn’t actually that bad! It might not be the greatest piece of writing to grace the digital page, but shit man, it doesn’t suck, and that’s something.

I soon wrote another one after that, which wasn’t too bad either. I then wrote another one, this third was to be my ‘break in’ script. If you want to call it that.

 This brings to light the notion of that metaphorical ‘wall.’ On one side of which are the unknown writers and on other side lies a plethora of writers lost in the throes of orgiastic hedonism – here’s news for you, that wall really, really doesn’t exist.

Screenwriting is no more black and white than any other career. Look at police for example (yes I was just watching The Wire ). Is it possible for a rookie cop to become commissioner over night just because he busted ass in some major drug haul?

Nope.

Can he get a promotion?

Yes.

And that’s how it is for MOST screenwriters. The very best example of this came from the mouth of Shane Black – this guy is a god to screen writers, responsible for Lethal Weapon and the highest selling spec’ film script of ALL TIME –  The Long Kiss Goodnight.

Is it possible for a rookie cop to become commissioner over night
just because he busted ass in some major drug haul?

At the Austin screen writing conference (I ended up going BTW) Shane gave a talk to a packed room of hundreds of budding writers and cinephiles. In his own words, after having just written Lethal Weapon and sold The Long Kiss Good Night for $3 million (in 1995 dollars – that’s like a trillion dollars nowadays) and having knocked out another classic, The Last Action Hero (not the greatest film, knock it all you want but, hey, it got made with Arnie starring so, you know, there’s that) Shane went on to say that he fell off.

He failed to be prolific.

Then seven years later after a drug induced hiatus from writing he started putting pen to paper again and he was having meets with 25 year old low level studio execs saying, “Shane I like your writing, you stick at it you’ll break in, and you might just make something of yourself in this business.”

My point is to illustrate that imaginary wall we talk about breaking through. There’s no in or out, there’s simply one step at a time, working hard, getting better and most importantly Keeping At It.

-Samuel Bartlett

Part 1 – The Beginnings
Part 3 – The Truth about Comps
Part 4 – The Law of Causation
Part 5 – Writing and Reading

Photo Credit: billaday – sergeant killjoy – viZZZual.com

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies.
He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA.
 

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/

-By Samuel Bartlett

PART 1 – THE BEGINNINGS

I thought, no shit? That script, but that was like, my worst script, I only sent it out cos I thought, hey, what the hell, it’s a $50 entry fee, what have I got to lose?

The main script that I was working, on, my baby, the one I was sure to bust through with didn’t even get a mention… and get this, I entered it twice. $100 entry fees and not a mention – but that script, that baby, was to later get me meets with a manager who had two scripts on this year’s black list, so it wasn’t all a waste – more later on that.

(If you don’t know what the black list is and you’re screen writing, you fucking need to. https://blcklst.com/)

For now, rewind.

2006, London, heretofore I’d dabbled in the world of cartooning, music recording and animating, then I figured, man, I dig writing, I want to write.

In summary it took six years, four novels, 90,000 words a piece – no easy feet by anyone’s terms – none of them published, though I did secure a literary agent that did SFA for me. I wrote that ubiquitous first screenplay that was about me and my buddies just doing stuff – oh that was a winner! (Hmmmm)

I wrote four more scripts that started with a cliché twist at the end and worked backwards. You know the story lines, the one that can be summarized thusly, but at the end it turns out that the guy he’s chasing is himself! The cop is actually out to arrest himself! (Insert vacant looks of expectant stares from friends and loved ones as they nod approvingly, hoping you don’t give up your day job…)

Among those four ‘first scripts’ I somehow managed to get Robert Kosberg (Twelve Monkeys) to read and give notes on one of my scripts (for free – go figure? To get that now is impossible, no idea how I did it. Ah, the arrogance of ignorance…) I also had another one put in the hands of Guy Ritchie and associates —

— I mean seriously, talk about wasted opportunities! I can’t even bring myself to look at the work I was doing back then, it makes me feel sad, seriously, reading that shit is like remembering a really bad break up, it twists my stomach, and there I was, sending it out, what a rookie mistake.

I can’t even bring myself to look at
the work I was doing back then, it makes me feel sad

Don’t send shit out unless it’s really, really good.

Fast forward, I came back to Sydney to study film at AFTRS. Managed to get into one of their courses, where a wwwhhhhhooollllleeee lot of shit opened up to me. (The word ‘whole’ does not look great extended like that, but you get the idea.)

Until then, 2009, I’d spent my time winging it as so many novice screenwriters do. I’d seen films, right, I had pretty solid opinions, so fuck it, I can write a film damn it. What’s a film but a bunch of scenes back to back with a twist at the end? There’s a formula to this, work out your wicked twist, work backwards from there, BAM! You’ve got your film.

Ba-bow. (That’s the iMac fail sound.)

-Samuel Bartlett

Part 2 – Cars and Cops
Part 3 – The Truth about Comps
Part 4 – The Law of Causation
Part 5 – Writing and Reading

Photo Credit: Zyllan via Compfight

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies.
He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA.
 

Samuel Bartlett

Samuel Bartlett is an award winning screen writer and film maker with two feature films currently in development with Los Angeles based production companies. He shot his first award winning feature film in 2011 and has another short film ready for the festival circuit. He divides his time between Sydney, London and LA. Samuel also regularly deconstructs unproduced scripts here.

deconstructthescript.blogspot.com.au/