The Gilroys can’t do much wrong in Hollywood.

But the saga started with The Bourne Identity (2002) (well, if we forget about the Robert Ludlum’s novels for a second. That source material was quite different anyway). The first Bourne movie brought a bunch of talent together, directed by Doug Liman, who had been doing hip, smallish character driven movies up to that point. In Identity the cast we see next to Matt Damon among others Franka Potente (the sexy redhead from Lola Rennt), as well as superb character actors Brian Cox and Chris Cooper. It all gave the movie a powerful ‘cachet’. The strategy worked: the film was received very well, both by audience and critics.

Mystery?

“I don’t know who I am. Do you know who I am? Do you have any idea who I am?” These are among the first few words ever spoken by Jason Bourne in the successful movie franchise. At this point in the screenplay, Jason is only referred to only as THE MAN. For a long time into the story, Jason keeps wondering. The irony is that the audience works it out quickly. This guy has a gun, money and fake passports, one of which has a name with the initials J.B.? I’d say he’s a spy. Not that we have to work to figure that out. The next thing we’re in Langley, at the CIA HQ. Within the first half hour we learn that something has gone very wrong, and Jason was not supposed to be alive still. The stakes are set, early on. The challenge now is to keep the tension.

“I don’t know who I am.
Do you know who I am?
Do you have any idea who I am?”
-Jason Bourne

From a metaphorical perspective, we clearly have a young man on a Hero Quest. The search for identity has been the stuff of many great movie characters. Often the audience is trying to figure out these characters too, e.g. look at Lawrence Of Arabia and Citizen Kane. In the first Bourne movie, the quest is presented as a mystery. A pure mystery would have almost certainly failed on the screen. Remember the movie adaptation of The Da Vince Code? No? Good. You’ve blocked it out.

We clearly have a young man on a Hero Quest.

Suspense

Remember how Hitchcock taught us that mystery is not something you should bring to the big screen. Instead, the master focused on suspense and surprise. In The Bourne Identity, we have all three – in spades, and a moment early in act two bundles all three, in one scene. The scene also demonstrates that surprise works really well if it is anticipated by suspense in the first place. (HBO fans know that surprise and suspense make mystery palatable, as was demonstrated in True Detective.)

The end of the first act of The Bourne Identity is in some way reminiscent of the same point in Hitchcock’s North By Northwest, starring another hero who is profoundly confused about his identity. Like a boy growing up to become a man, Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) has to escape from under his mother’s wings. In addition to the identity confusion, the audience learns that the baddies are coming after Thornhill, and it suits the CIA fine. This is revealed in a dramatic irony scene, where we learn the agency is not going to protect him.

The Bourne Identity goes one step further. At the end of Act One, in a similar dramatic ironic moment at the CIA offices, Bourne’s fate is sealed and he won’t be safe for another second. We witness how Chris Cooper’s character Conklin task his agents to bring Bourne in – in a body bag. The suspense is on.

Surprise!

This scene is not for the faint-hearted. It shows the first confrontation between Jason and the agents that are after him. The setting is the Paris flat, which Jason doesn’t even remember ever having lived at. He learns from a phone call to a hotel where he recently stayed that one of his aliases – John Michael Kane – was killed two weeks ago. He knows he has got to be vigilant now, and he grabs a kitchen knife, which he soon drops again to prevent Marie from panicking. Note that in an earlier draft of the screenplay, she does see the knife and it freaks her out. For the shooting draft, Gilroy preferred the dramatic irony take.

If the tension was palpable when the two entered the flat, after the phone call the suspense is sheer unbearable. The perfect foundation for the surprise that is to follow. Of the more than 5 minutes in the excerpt – the Paris flat scene lasts for much longer in the movie – only about 100 seconds are action (‘surprise’ if you wish). The rest is all suspense.

You tell which is more effective.

-Karel Segers

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Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

We meet genetically enhanced assassin Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) as he survives the Alaskan wilderness. Meanwhile, CIA bigwigs shout across tables at Edward Norton, who runs the whole super-assassin program, which is so secret that the CIA doesn’t know about it, or even how he got in the building.

Jeremy survives the wilderness a bit more. Edward has more meetings. Because Jason Bourne has gone rogue, and he needs to shut the program down. By killing everyone involved in dramatic, public ways, as obviously this will draw less attention.

Geneticist Rachel Weisz is one of those targeted, but Aaron saves her and they’re soon on the run. At some point, off camera, they must get the Bourne trilogy out on DVD to see how he did it, because this film offers nothing new, and much less character development. Renner and Weisz are good, though. 7/10

7/10

Released August 15, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

If you liked this, check out more videos about screenwriting or filmmaking. And if you know of a great video on Screenwriting, let us know in the comments. Thanks!

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

Story & Structure

:: Plot points of Big Fish
:: Script: The Big Lebowski
:: Never Mind The Hunger Games – is The Host the New Twilight?
:: Does The Movie Ever Do The Book Justice?

Script Perfection

:: Screenwriting Tips: “Consider the Reader’s Emotional State and Frame of Mind.”
:: The Strange Art of Picking a TV Title
:: Video Interview: Tony Gilroy

Pitching & Selling

:: As Western Box Office Declines, China’s Shoots Skywards
:: New ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ Film Adaptation
:: ‘Friday the 13th’ Writers Set Up New Horror Movie at Paramount
:: Paramount Looking to Reinvent Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn

Best of the Rest

:: Why Did HBO Drama Luck Fall at the First Hurdle?
:: Awake is a Great Show With a Broken Format
:: Kevin Smith to Resurrect Clerks: The Animated Series?
:: ‘Midnight Run 2’ Gets New Writers with Brett Ratner Ready to Direct
:: James Erwin: The Lucky Man Who was ASKED to Become a Screenwriter
_______________________________

With thanks to Jamie C.

Enjoy!

Karel

Jamie Campbell

Jamie Campbell is an author, screenwriter, and television addict.

Jamie is proud to be an Editor for The Story Department.

Her latest series Project Integrate is out now.

jamiecampbell.com.au

When I watched the film during its theatrical release, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Because of the relatively low budget (an estimated USD$25m) for its production values, Tony Gilroy was able to make some brave non-commercial decisions with his screen story.

This didn’t go entirely unpunished, as the Variety review points out:

Gilroy’s fidelity to his script comes at the expense of the pacing, which initially lumbers forward so assiduously as to feel like a throwback to an earlier era.

and:

Some of the peripheral threads — especially Michael’s relationship with his family, both as an irritated brother and a single dad — occupy time at the outset but really don’t lead anywhere.

-Brian Lowry

Looking at the story structure in the first act, we’ll find some obvious causes for the problems addressed above.

The Inciting Incident doesn’t happen until 25mins into the film and I yet have to find a clear 1st Act Turning Point. The scene with Marty (Sydney Pollack) at 51mins feels like one but at that stage Michael is already on his journey. The monumental 25mins of ‘Ordinary World’ make the story drag on to a point the audience will get very fidgety.

Then, in sequence two – and even before the end of the act – we find an abundance of scenes and characters that are not dealing with the main plot: Michael’s son, his debt, the merger and the scenes from Karen’s POV. These are simply things you cannot do without having clearly set up the main story.

I won’t go into any further story issues, but here is how I would structure the film in terms of plot points and sequences:

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: Prologue, Ordinary World

00.00 Arthur’s VO: This is not a relapse.
03.00 POV(*) Bach is settling, at office late at night
04.30 POV Karen in bathroom, tormented
05.00 Michael is gambling, phone rings
07.00 Urgent job: accident, go see client at home
08.30 At client’s: What are you? Miracle worker?
12.00 Phone rings: Michael gives details to referee.
12.30 Driving, GPS flickers.
13.30 Gets out at field with horses
15.00 Car explodes

SEQUENCE B: Subplot and Call to Adventure

15.30 – 4 DAYS EARLIER
16.00 Subplot: Michael drives son Henry to school
18.30 Subplot: Michael needs $75k to repay debts
20.30 At work, assistant asks: Are we merging?
23.00 POV Karen (intercut) rehearsing + interview
25.30 I.I.: Arthur stripped in deposition room
26.00 Arthur’s VO (cont.). Did you meet Anna?
29.00 Arthur: I have blood on my hands.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C: To get Arthur back on the case

29.30 POV Arthur tape, U-North people learn about Michael
32.30 Michael will get Arthur back in 3-4 days; find briefcase
33.30 POV Arthur calls Henry: Realm & Conquest.
35.30 Michael & Karen: defends Arthur. She’ll call Marty
37.30 Michael & Arthur as Mentor: “We’ve been summoned.”
39.30 POV Karen calls Mr. Verne
41.00 Arthur has escaped

SEQUENCE D: Allies and Enemies, Midpoint

43.00 POV Karen shows Marty the memo.
43.30 Searching Arthur’s office; psychiatric commitment?
45.00 Arthur followed, Michael leaves msg: janitor to janitor
48.00 POV Arthur calls Anna, call bugged.
50.00 With creditor: one week
51.00 Marty: He’s calling the plaintiffs; Michael asks loan
54.00 Looking for Arthur; with son, sees him
56.00 Mid: Arthur changed. Not the enemy.”Then who?”

SEQUENCE E: Subplot and Ordeal Plot Point

59.30 POV Arthur reads report on voicemail
63.30 POV Karen orders murder
65.00 Asks brother for support; hang for an hour.
67.30 POV Arthur killed
69.30 Brother shows up, off alcohol, in front of Henry
71.00 To son: you’re not like this. You’ve got it.
72.30 Ordeal: phone call, Arthur’s dead
75.00 In pub w/ Marty. Why?? No note. U-North settling.

SEQUENCE F: Ordeal Sequence Approach / and Reward

77.30 Calls Anna, in NY right now.
78.30 Goes to see Anna in motel, being watched
79.00 Anna: “something that would win the case”
81.00 Approach: Gets seal, to Arthur’s place
82.00 Followed, watched; searches flat
83.00 Finds Realm & Conquest; Police come in
84.00 Released from cell, “Who called 911?”
87.30 Reward: 3,000 copies of memo
88.00 POV Karen finds out about memo: ‘situation’.
88.30 Marty ready for announcement;
89.00 Subplot Reward: cheque $80k
91.00 Pays off debt.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G: To get out, by bringing U-North down

92.30 Gambling // car bomb planted // phone rings, leaves.
95.30 Driving, miracle worker, fixer
96.00 Driving
99.00 Horses // Gimme cell // Explosion
99.30 Throws valuables in, runs off
100.0 Brother picks him up
101.0 POV Karen addressing board w/ settlement proposal
103.3 Climax: Confronts Karen: $10m
106.0 Resolution: Everything on record: NYPD

SEQUENCE H: Return with the Elixir – Finally Out

107.0 Taxi

(*): Scenes marked “POV” are not from the protagonist’s POV.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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