Ironically, his very last post here was titled “Who Is John Galt?” To appreciate the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged, the answer to that question didn’t matter.

To appreciate MM’s writing, it didn’t matter who he was.

His assistant indicated that he didn’t want his identity to be revealed and that’s probably why she waited a certain amount of time after his physical death to inform the fans.
It is the responsibility of those who actually know who he was, to respect the mystery.

Meanwhile, we are allowed to guess. And you know what? I think MM would have loved the increased buzz around this mystery.

For myself, I have figured out who he was.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m right or wrong. But over the past 48 hours I have discovered another side of this enigmatic character that I have come to love almost as much as the MM persona he manufactured – and who was in some ways quite the opposite of the man behind the scenes. The more I find, the more it all adds up.

And then, suddenly, plowing through the wonderful amount of bits and pieces of his online legacy, I stumbled on this music track by one of my favorite musicians. I had never heard it before.

It’s a beautiful, sad piece that closes the curtain on MM for me in a way that couldn’t be more appropriate.

I hope you enjoy it, too.

Karel

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Here is an attempt to analyse the structural dynamics of this wonderful screenplay and film.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A (8.5mins): Preparations.

00.00 Opening Titles: Landscapes that express freedom.
02.00 At diner, Louise is serving & advises against smoking, then smokes.
03.00 Thelma at home, hasn’t asked husband yet for permission to leave.
03.30 Darryl patronises Thelma, humiliates her, she still doesn’t ask.
04.30 Darryl leaves in sportscar, shouts at workmen.
05.00 T. calls L.. After the manager’s innuendo, they arrange their departure.
06.00 Louise leaves, montage shows both getting ready.
07.00 Louise picks up Thelma, who carries half household with her. Polaroid.

SEQUENCE B (13mins): Departure and disaster.

08.30 Driving. T.: I didn’t ask. L.: You get what you settle for (i.e. Darryl).
09.30 Thelma is smoking, looking in the mirror: “I’m Louise.”
10.30 Dusk, Silver Bullet, going to have fun. Different responses to Harlan.
13.30 Louise is reserved, it makes Thelma nervous. Harlan shouts drinks.
15.00 Dancing, line dancing. Thelma dances with Harlan.
16.30 Louise back to table, Thelma keeps dancing. Louise wants to leave.
17.30 Thelma is unwell, they go outside. Louise is looking for Thelma.
18.30 Harlan: Not gonna hurt you. T. resists. He hits her and attempts rape.

19.30 Louise appears with gun. “Suck my dick”. She shoots. (I.I.)

SEQUENCE C (11mins): Figuring out what to do.

21.30 They escape. L. blames T. for her behaviour. Police won’t believe them.
22.30 Louise vomits. Trucks & noise everywhere. Let’s have a coffee & plan.
24.00 They try and figure out what to do. Thelma calls Hal. Nobody home.
25.30 Detective Hal with waitress: Harlan deserved it! She defends T&L.

27.30 No money. Need to figure out what to do.
28.30 They argue. Go to police? Not ready to go to jail.
29.30 T. at the pool, L. calls Jimmy for money. Do you love me?
31.30 L. & T. leave in a hurry. They have decided to run. (PP1)

END OF ACT ONE: The decision has been made to go on the run.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE D ( 8.5mins): Organising money.

32.30 Hal’s boss: Possibly interstate. Let the FBI in on this.
33.00 Louise: Let’s go to Mexico. Are you up to this? I’m going.
34.30 L. calls Jimmy. He will send the money. I miss you, Peaches.
36.00 T. calls Darryl, he’s watching a game, judging but not concentrating.
39.00 Young handsome JD asks for a lift. Thelma is keen, Louise says no.

SEQUENCE E (10.5mins): To Oklahoma for the money pick-up.

41.00 Hal is on the case, looks up Louise’s car: ’66 Ford Thunderbird.
41.30 Louise doesn’t want to Mexico go through Texas.
43.00 Hal is investigating at Louise’s place.
43.30 Thelma and Louise are enjoying the ride.
44.00 Detective Hal is investigating at Louise’s Diner.
44.30 They see JD again; Thelma begs to pick him up. Louise gives in.

45.00 Detective Hal interviews Darryl, who is more concerned about himself.
46.00 JD to T.: Your husband sounds like a real asshole. T: he is. They bond.
47.00 JD warns them, they avoid an approaching police car.
47.30 Hal has info on Thelma’s gun etc.
48.30 They go to pick up the money. Jimmy is there, he books rooms.
50.00 JD leaves them and each go to their rooms. L. to T.: Guard the money.

SEQUENCE F (16mins): Mid Sequence, cross-cut.

51.30 Jimmy is jealous & violent. He calms down and proposes to her.
54.00 JD knocks on door. T invites him in. They have fun and make love.
1.00.0 Over breakfast Louise and Jimmy kiss goodbye.
1.04.3 T. arrives: Finally got laid properly. Left money in the room. Run!

1.06.0 Money gone. Louise breaks down. End of Thelma’s innocence.
1.07.0 T. cheers L. up, takes control and drives. Move! (MPR)

SEQUENCE G (10.5mins): Thelma has found her calling.

1.07.3 Hal & Co with Darryl. When she calls, be gentle. Women love that shit.
1.10.0 Thelma robs Store. Drive us to Mexico.
1.11.0 FB: This is a robbery // Hal & Darryl watching. Everybody is shocked.

1.12.3 Thelma brags about her robbery. Found your calling. You’re Disturbed.
1.14.0 Sexist truck driver. They think we like it.
1.15.0 Police now with Jimmy.
1.16.0 Louise with old man, gives him her jewellery.
1.17.0 L.: murder one, little defense. T.: How do you know all these things?

SEQUENCE H (8mins): Fugitives.

1.18.0 Hal blames T.’s robbery on JD. They wouldn’t have otherwise.
1.22.0 Thelma calls Darryl. He knows. L. calls, asks for police.
1.23.3 Hal knows about Mexico. T. talked. L. angry: We’re Fugitives now.

SEQUENCE I (11.5mins): Speeding towards Mexico.

1.26.0 Darryl with cops changes channel, annoys cops, changes back.
1.26.3 Driving through National Park by night.
1.28.3 Dawn. Passing sexist trucker.
1.31.0 T.: Texas. You was raped. L.: I’m not talking about that.
1.32.0 Stopped by cop: clocked at 110km/h. In trouble.

1.34.3 Thelma with gun, shoots radio. They put cop in trunk.
1.37.0 Thelma: I’ve got a knack for this shit.

SEQUENCE I (5.5mins): Dead or alive.

1.37.3 Hal: Brains only get you so far & luck always runs out.
1.38.0 Louise has doubts & regrets. Thelma justifies. Having fun, not sorry.
1.39.0 L. calls Hal: charge w/ murder;knows about Texas. Dead or alive?
1.41.3 Not giving up. Not making any deals. Dead or alive. (PP2)

END OF ACT TWO: Their fate has been sealed. T.’s arc complete.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE J (6.5mins): Revenge.

1.43.0 Thelma feels awake.
1.44.0 They see macho trucker again. Ready to get serious? Yes.
1.46.0 They ask for an apology. Fuck that! They shoot, truck explodes.

1.48.3 Drive on.

SEQUENCE K (8.5mins): Freedom at last

1.49.3 (POV) Stoned bicycle rider, smoke into air hole.

1.50.3 Police helicopter: closing in.
1.51.3 Police cars chasing them, they go off the road. Cars follow.
1.54.0 Temporarily shake them off under bridge. Eerily quiet.

1.54.3 Thelma: crazy, first chance to express yourself.
1.56.0 They reach the edge of a cliff: Grand Canyon. Hal appears in heli.

1.57.3 Surrounded. Hal lands. Orders to surrender.
1.58.3 Louise: not giving up. Thelma: let’s keep going. (C&R)
2.00.0 They drive, hal runs.

I.I.: Inciting Incident (or Call to Adventure)
PP1: Plot Point 1 (Act 1 Turning Point / Crossing the 1st Threshold)
MPR: Mid Point Reversal
PP2: Plot Point 2 (Act 2 Turning Point / Ordeal & Reward)
C&R: Climax & Resolution (Resurrection)

PROTAGONIST

In my view, Thelma is the protagonist, for the following reasons:

1. She is prominent in the setup and we empathise/sympathise with her.
2. We may hope that she will become less submissive and find freedom.
3. Her story has a clear Inciting Incident (a major event happening to her).
4. She has a clear Mid Point Reversal.
5. She has a clear character arc.

Interestingly, if you look at Thelma’s story in isolation, the first half (before the Mid Point Reversal) she is a passive protagonist, mostly just following Louise. Only after that, she becomes an active protagonist. This passivity is counteracted by Louise’s initiative until the Mid Point.

ACT STRUCTURE

The Inciting Incident is clear: two major events happen to Thelma: Harlan’s rape attempt and Louise’s shooting Harlan. Although Louise later argues that Thelma started it because of her behaviour, Thelma’s actions are two degrees away from the Inciting Incident (Harlan’s death) that kicks off the story. Therefore, this is clearly an event happening to Thelma, not an action by her.

This leaves Thelma with the necessity to act.

The 1st Act Turning point is more problematic: Louise takes the initiative, Thelma agrees by following her. After a period of considering their options, they have decided to go on the run. Although the destination won’t be known until later, Act Two is now set in motion. In my view, this act break is reinforced by the next scene in which we learn the FBI will be on the case. This increasing of the stakes by showing the antagonist’s power is a frequently used technique to open Act Two.

The Mid Point Reversal is at the same time a reversal of fortune (loss of the money) and proof of Thelma’s change of heart. She is now committed to her inner journey towards finding her true identity (or essence) and freedom. Two events trigger this: her first fulfilling sexual experience and the realisation that she has failed to take responsibility by constantly relying on Louise. The evidence in her commitment lies in two immediate actions: she drives the car and robs the store.

The crisis occurs when they learn about the major setback that Hal knows where they are heading and he will charge them with murder. It is a crisis moment for both women: Louise has doubts and regrets, so Thelma has to make a choice. Her newly found strength is the Reward, as well as the fact that Louise hasn’t made a deal with the police. It is a strong Ordeal moment as 1) the image of death occurs when they realise it is now a matter of life or death and 2) it signifies the death of Thelma’s old identity.

At the climax, two important actions take place: 1) Thelma demonstrates her new strength when she stands up for herself in the confrontation with the sexist truck driver and 2) by saying “Let’s keep going” she commits to her new principles with her life and seals it with the ultimate act of defiance.

POINT OF VIEW

After the characters have been set up, every scene has the hero (Thelma) or the antagonist (Harlan/the police), except perhaps one or two.

Any scenes that are not told from Thelma’s POV either add to the jeopardy (as the police makes progress) or they provide comic relief (the black cyclist blowing smoke into the trunk with the cop in it).

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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A friend asked me if I would be offended should he spend $600 to go see McKee in Melbourne.

Years ago I happened to be in LA in the first days of release of the first edition of STORY (McKee’s bestselling book). I purchased two copies: one for myself and one for my best friend who had attended the story seminar a couple of times and who had told me McKee had never published. McKee autographed both. Mine says:

“To Karel. Tell the truth.”

So I will.

I have seen McKee a couple of times. He is entertaining, and has an impressive knowledge of cinema, both mainstream classics and arthouse. I think he’s worth the money – if you can afford it – for a whole weekend of entertainment. His guru-like performance also ignites inspiration with a lot of people.

But I have never found the level of practical, detailed and essential information that is required to successfully analyse and create screenplays. This I have found with other people such as Hauge, Vogler, Truby and Gulino.

McKee’s weekend story seminar was the basis for his book. It is a literal transcription.

A few years back UNK published a blog post on his experience of the story weekend and when I wanted to forward the link to my friend with the spare $600, I couldn’t find the article on his site. Fortunately Google had cached it and I have reprinted the cache below.  UNK’s post is entertaining and …

The Truth.
(From The Unknown Screenwriter)

“So I got my yearly Robert McKee brochure in the mail…

Last year when I received the exact same brochure, I read it over… Having never been to a McKee seminar but having been to every other screenwriting guru’s seminar, I figured it was worth the read…

After all, I had spent the money to attend the seminars of…

* Bill Martell
* David S. Freeman
* Syd Field
* Blake Snyder
* John Truby
* Michael Hauge
* Chris Vogler
* Chris Soth
* Screenwriting Expo

And, to be honest, I THOUGHT I had left the best for last… The piece de resistance if you will…

Uh… No.

The brochure last year AND this year said for me to be sure to read STORY before attending the seminar so that I would be intimately familiar with the material…

So I did.

Now I already had a copy of STORY that I purchased the first year it actually came out. I remember trying to read through it but holy shit… So much stuff to wade through back then…

On the other hand, I can read STORY today (which I did a year ago) and pull an enormous amount of material from it.

Make no mistake… From reading the book, McKee obviously knows his stuff.

Maybe too well… LOL.

Why do I say that?

Let me take you back to last October (from what I remember) in Los Angeles when I attended McKee’s seminar…

First of all, I was late. I ended up having to take the 405 freeway which I loathe and always try to avoid but a quick glance at my Google Map revealed that I had to take the 405 to get to Loyola Marymount University after all!

So after an easy extra hour of driving, needless to say, I arrived LATE.

I walk up and get my complimentary cup of coffee (thanks Bob!) just outside the building where the STORY seminar was being held, go inside to the tables where the assistants were very nice and directed me to the seminar.

While I stroll around the McKee tables toward the entrance to seminar I notice piles of the book, STORY…

Piles of the screenplay, CASABLANCA…

Piles of the STORY audiotapes…

Cool.

So I enter through the seminar doors about an hour late and as I walk in I hear that “PHIFFFT” sound of a few hundred people turning pages…

A full house to be sure.

I find a nice little fold-up desk in the extreme upper left-hand corner of the room… Upper left-hand corner to Mr. McKee that is.

I didn’t know this but he had stopped in mid-sentence to wait for me to find a seat… I thought that was pretty nice of him but when I sat down and focused my attention down at him and his table, he didn’t seem that accomodating… LOL.

Oops.

I sat down and smiled at him and when he felt like my entering the seminar was no longer an interruption, he continued…

He went on and I was impressed! It was like watching Hal Holbrook’s one man show of MARK TWAIN TONIGHT!

The only thing I kept finding strange was the consistent “PHIFFFT” of hundreds of pages turning every so often…

This captured my attention so I looked around and by golly if there weren’t hundreds of people turning pages as Mr. McKee progressed with his performance… er ah… course outline.

At first I was confused. Then I realized that everyone was following along in their book as he was going through WHAT I THOUGHT WAS HIS OUTLINE…

Was I missing something?

Oh yeah.

I ended up meeting a very nice female actor who was sitting next to me — also reading through the book as McKee did his schtick. When we finally had a break, I made an inquiry…

I asked: “Why is everyone going through the book while he speaks?”

She replied: “Because HE’S going through the book.”

I asked again: “You mean he’s going through the same topics?”

She replied: “No, he’s going through the book.”

I asked again: “You mean he’s looking at the book and expanding on the information?”

She replied: “No! He’s MEMORIZED the book and he’s going through it!”

I asked/stated: “SAY WHAT?”

She replied: “He’s going through the book word for word but he’s memorized it.”

I stated: “No fuckin’ way…”

She replied: “Yup.”

I asked: “And I paid over $500 for this?”

She replied: “We all did.”

Okay, so we went on a little more about it until the seminar started up again… I sat there in disillusionment.

And the rumors you heard about cellphones are in fact true… If you have a cellphone and it rings during his performance, you gotta give the guy $10.00 for interrupting. I actually liked that part of the seminar because I fucking hate cellphones and I hate people that leave their cellphones ON during any kind of seminar… Don’t EVEN ask me what I’ve done when a cellphone goes off in a movie theater… Let’s just say YOU DO NOT WANT ME IN THE THEATER IF YOUR CELLPHONE GOES OFF…

Anyway…

After lunch, McKee’s cellphone goes off… He’s looking around the audience… The audience is looking around the audience… Everybody is looking at each other until finally… He checks his own briefcase… He opens it up and sure enough, the ringing gets immediately LOUDER.

Everybody laughs and he turns off the phone and remarks, “I’ll pay myself later.”

The audience HOWLED for at least a minute… THEY LOVED IT!

I sat there with I know what had to be a stupid look on my face… I swear I was in the midst of mob-mentality… THIS GUY COULD DO NO WRONG!

At one point throughout the weekend, McKee talked about good and evil… When talking about evil, he pressed a button on a remote and a picture of Oliver North went up on the screen… Again, most everyone laughed except for myself and a very large man down in front who just happened to be a former Marine.

He stood up and said, “Fuck you old man!”

I for one was hoping this was going to get good but alas… Everyone in the seminar kept sticking up for McKee and told the guy to eat shit and get the hell out of there if he couldn’t handle it… Yada yada yada… LOL.

And, the former Marine did in fact leave only to show back up later and take on the mob mentality himself, by clapping and laughing at McKee’s every breath…

I had about all I could stand when, on Sunday, we started going through Casablanca… Of course, I didn’t buy his copy of the script so I couldn’t follow along but I have gone through Casablanca on my own many many times so I felt qualified to at least sit there and listen.

It was BRUTAL yet everyone was eating it up… I finally got up and hit the road. Thank fuckin’ God but I did go ahead and purchase Mr. McKee’s STORY audio book on cassette tapes (he didn’t yet have the seminar on CD).

As I eeked my way through the Loyola Marymount University campus on a late Sunday afternoon, I inserted tape number ONE.

And guess what?

He did memorize the book!

The only thing that was different on the tape were the jokes! Nobody laughed at his jokes hence, they were not funny… By the time I got back home, I was listening to him go through his discussion of CHINA TOWN.

Word for fucking word I listened to the tape and while I cannot say with 100% accuracy that he simply went through the book word for word (but why wouldn’t he?), these audio tapes were exactly what I had just paid over $500 to sit through on a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday when I could have been at home or my favorite coffee shop, WRITING.

So there you have it… You can get the entire three days on audio for $15.00 — well, that’s what it cost me at the seminar so it might be more if you purchase it elsewhere IF you can purchase it elsewhere…

*NOTE: I see over at Amazon, that he now has the book on CD… Nice. Anybody know how I can convert my cassette tapes over to CD?

Shit…

So now the question… To McKee or not to McKee… Is that the question?

Is it?

If you want to witness the performance, by all means… Pay the $575 and see the one man show.

If you want the material, read the book. That IS the seminar. Better yet… Buy the book, buy the STORY audio CD and then follow along in the privacy of your own home, coffee shop, bathroom stall, etc…

My only regret is not actually paying $675 instead of $575.

Why?

For $675, I could have gotten the latest version of Final Draft instead of paying almost $200 for it about 2 months ago…

I never learn.”

-The Unknown Screenwriter

Here is another opinion, by John August. The disclaimer: John has written a few screenplays that manifestly stray from the generally accepted 3-Act convention. Up to you to decide if he’s a reliable source in this.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Since writing the below post, I have come to realise that the mid point may well be the last checkpoint to make sure you have the most powerful story you can get.

I believe the mid point can only exist if everything else works. Without knowing exactly what the outer objective is (Turning Point 1) and how the character changes (Turning Point 2) it is impossible to create the right mid point. The mid point changes the direction of the visible goal (Outer Journey), sometimes it completely changes the goal altogether. It also accelerates the Inner Journey as the protagonist is now committed to resolving the Need.

I have added some notes on THE INCREDIBLES and THE LIVES OF OTHERS to the examples below.

Many unsuccessful movies run out of steam halfway. Even a fair few memorable pics are weak in the middle, or have a ‘soft belly’. The Second Act seems to be the hardest nut to crack. But why? Perhaps because the protagonist is chasing the same objective all along? After all we have a massive chunk of script to fill, about an hour of screentime on average. One remedy is to chop the movie up in quarters. First and last act are roughly one quarter each already, so Act Two we just cut in two.

It’s variously called the mid-act climax, the mid-point, first culmination or the mid-point reversal. I prefer the latter, although it is not always a strict 180 degree turn. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a climax either but it must be a ‘major turning point’. Things will be dramatically different from this point onwards.

Syd Field describes it something like this: “An important scene in the middle of the script, often a reversal of fortune or revelation that changes the direction of the story.” Field suggests that driving the story towards the Midpoint keeps the second act from sagging. For once I find Field more helpful than others. An executive at the talent agency ICM is trying to get his head around it:

“An event occurs wherein the character cannot give up his pursuit. It is a “no turning back point.” The bridge has been burned behind him (figuratively speaking), and he can only move forward. Often, this is manifested as a TICKING CLOCK. In classically structure (sic) romantic comedies, this is the point where the man and woman sleep together.” Hmmm… Not sure about that last one.

Here’s my favourite definition, from Frank Daniel:

“Mid-Point or First Culmination: a Major Reversal of fortune, making Main Character’s task even more difficult. Often, give the audience a very clear glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question “‘ the hope that Main Character will actually succeed at resolving his problem “‘ only to see circumstances turn the story the other way. First Culmination may be a glimpse at the actual resolution of the picture, or its mirror opposite.”

Let’s look at a few examples to understand the mid point better:

THE UNTOUCHABLES – Not only a well-structured, commercial movie with a top notch cast; it has a midpoint that ticks all three boxes: After a shootout on the Canadian border far away from the crime-ridden streets of Chicago, Eliot Ness and his team find out they can get to Capone through his accountant.

The mid-point sequence happens halfway the movie (ironically, not all midpoints really do), it changes the course of the story (Ness is no longer after Capone but after his accountant) and it takes place in a very different environment/change of scenery from the rest of the movie. And indeed: catching the accountant does get Capone in court. Important for the Inner Journey at this point is Ness’ response to the criticism on the way Malone forces a confession out of one of Capone’s men. When he says “Well, you’re not from Chicago”, it proves Ness is now open to approaching things ‘the Chicago Way’, as taught by his mentor Malone.

JAWS – It’s more than thirty years old and scary as ever, and not because of its state-of-the-art FX. Look closely and you’ll see: that plastic shark is a big joke! This is one piece of brilliant writing. Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) has been unsuccessful in trying to stop the shark killings by urging the mayor to close the beaches. When his own son narrowly escapes death, he is forced to change tactics (different direction): he must go and attack the shark in its own habitat. It brings a fresh turn to the movie with a change of scenery and the stakes are heightened because we are now fighting the killer on his own territory. What’s more: the protagonist is under greater jeopardy because he can’t swim. At Brody’s Inner Journey mid point, he is committed to tackle things at the core in stead of dealing with the symptoms. See also my notes at the bottom of the structural overview of Jaws.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST – In his book THE SEQUENCE APPROACH, Paul Gulino mentions another function of the midpoint: it gives the protagonist a flavour of the possible outcome of the story (Frank Daniel’s “glimpse of an answer to the Central Dramatic Question“). Here, Nicholson’s character tastes freedom when he takes the patients out on a trip. The reality however is that after this point he learns he may never leave the asylum again. A powerful reversal: rather than proving he’s insane, he now has to try and get out. The scene/sequence of the mad men’s outing is another beautiful example of a change of scenery. At one stage during the edit, director Milos Forman cut the sequence out. About the result he says: “I cut it down television style, under two hours. And you know what was funny? It felt much longer.”

I wouldn’t necessarily call the following movies class examples but I’ll give them any way because their mid-points worked really well for me:

THE PARALLAX VIEW – Bang in the middle of this classic conspiracy thriller, Warren Beatty’s character undergoes a five minute brainwashing. The scene is borderline unbearable and would have probably been cut by today’s studio heads. We undergo the character’s psychological torture first hand while we stare at the seemingly random images, exactly like the protagonist experiences them. After this, Beatty’s character is no longer the curious outsider vs. the mysterious corporation; he is fighting the system from within, which will ultimately lead to his demise.

GIU LA TESTA (A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE) – Very much like in THE PARALLAX VIEW, we share the point of view of Rod Steiger’s character Juan while he watches what will cause a major change in his personality and in the course of the movie. At the very midpoint in the movie Juan witnesses a lengthy, traumatic shootout with a life-changing effect: from a mindless and merciless robber dreaming of the ultimate big heist he has now become a freedom fighter and finally commits to the cause of his alter-ego Sean (incarnated wonderfully by James Coburn).

THE QUEEN – The Queen is stuck in the lonely hills near Balmoral, her Land Rover having let her down. Without help from anybody she is out of her comfort zone when she notices the deer her grandsons have been stalking, upon her own advice and encouragement. A moment of realisation (with a lot of symbolism) leads to the decision to chase the dear away in an attempt to save its life from the hunters. The parallel with Princess Diana’s end becomes even more apparent when it turns out the deer was shot by a group of hunters after a chase on a neighbouring land (France?). The Queen has witnessed something that has changed her view and we see it externalised in her lukewarm response to the Queen Mother’s statements about the British people in a following scene.

NORTH BY NORTHWEST – The single most memorably scene of this film sits right in the very middle: the famous cropduster scene. Again, an entirely new setting in the movie, with hardly any other characters around. While most of the movie is rather talky, this sequence offers pure visual cinema with minimal sound design, then gradually picking up the pace and finally (literally) exploding in a symphony of action and music. The reversal: Roger Thornhill learns that Eve has betrayed him.

THE INCREDIBLES – Mister Incredible has successfully completed the task he travelled to the Special World for: eliminating the evil robot. Now, for the first time he is about to meet with his employer.

The reversal happens when his mission turns out to have been a setup to get him killed. The employer is effectively his arch-enemy Syndrome and the mid point delivers two major reversals: 1) in stead of staying on the island, he will have to escape 2) in stead of working alone, he’ll have to collaborate with his family.

THE LIVES OF OTHERS – In the first half of this 2007 Oscar winning drama, Captain Wiesler tries to expose the suspected playwright Dreyer to satisfy his superior at the Stasi (the former Eastern German State Security Service). While listening to a phone call, he learns that Dreyers best friend and mentor has committed suicide. Wiesler realises his work is not doing the good he had always believed it would. He is effectively killing people. When Dreyer plays the piano music he received as a gift from his mentor, Wiesler is so moved that he decides to not expose but protect Dreyer from this point on. To my taste, this is one of the most wonderful and moving mid points in cinema in recent years.

In my earlier blog “STRUCTURING THE FACTS” I briefly mention the midpoint reversal in UNITED 97: The passengers learn this is a suicide flight, therefore they have to change their tactics from trying to notify their relatives on the ground to actively fight back the terrorists.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Steven Spielberg first drew me into movies with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, back in 1977.

Because I was too young for Jaws in 1975, it wasn’t until later when I discovered the movie that really made Spielberg.

Jaws literally changed the movie industry as its tremendous success not only started the ‘wide opening’ with over 500 theatres, it also launched the summer season as the most profitable movie season in the US.

The structure below is an attempt to break the film down into its acts and sequences. I would welcome comments as you may or may not agree with this breakdown.

Some turning points are more obvious than others. The films Mid Point (of No Return) is beautifully emphasised with a long shot zooming into the ocean. The end of Act One and Two, however, are less obvious and you may have good reasons to see them differently. Please let me know.

Finally, like any other structural breakdown on this site, it is absolutely essential to view the film as the summaries below won’t make much sense without the context of the actual movie scene.

ACT ONE

Sequence A

00.00 Titles
01.00 Night beach party by campfire
03.00 Girl skinnydipping, boy is too drunk
03.30 POV shark
04.00 Girl taken

05.00 Breakfast, Brodys are strangers in town: concerned for kids.
06.00 Phone call. Wife: Be careful. Brody: In this town??
07.00 Brody with boy on beach: they find girl, is crab meat (I.I.)

Sequence B

08.30 Brody types report, minor office stuff
10.00 Buys sign, paint, orders to paint signs to close beach.
11.30 Mayor protests on ferry, your 1st summer, need summer dollars!
13.00 Watching the beach. “not an islander”
16.00 Dog taken, blood, everybody out. Alex Kintner is gone.
17.30 Town meeting, close beaches for 24hs. Brody: didn’t agree.
20.00 Quint’s proposal: $10,000 to bring it in.

ACT TWO A

Sequence C

21.30 Brody reads on sharks. Sees Mikey in boat, parents fight.
23.30 Quint throwing bait.
24.30 Broday reading: images of sharks & victims
25.30 Charlie falls in, almost taken
26.30 Matt Hooper arrives, wants to see girl’s remains first.
29.00 Ocean posse, everybody out in their boats for bounty.
30.00 post-mortem: no boating accident, was a shark.
31.30 Tiger shark caught. Hooper wants to cut open. Mayor: No.
34.30 Mrs Kintner hits Brody: you knew about girl, about shark.

Sequence D

36.30 Home, Mikey copies Brody. Give us a kiss. I need it.
37.30 Dinner stories. Hooper LOVES sharks. Brody HATES water.
41.30 Cut open shark. Nothing. Go see it in the ocean.
43.30 Boat, Brody about NY & Amity: one man can make difference.
45.00 Fish finder equipment, they find Ben Gardner’s boat.
47.00 Matt dives in, finds tooth and head.
48.30 Great white, no tooth. Mayor: beaches stay open for WE.

Sequence E

51.30 Tourists pour in, boats are patrolling.
54.00 Mayor tells people to go in the water, helicopter (DI)
55.00 Brody tells Mikey to go in the pond
56.00 Mayor lies in interview: all fine
57.00 Shark alert: false alarm, boys prank.
59.00 Shark going into the pond, grabs man
60.30 Mikey dragged out, dead? In shock. Zoom on ocean. (MPNR)

MID SEQUENCE

61.30 Hospital: take him home. Wife: to NY?
62.30 Mayor says sorry, signs voucher for Quint.
63.30 Quint vs. Hooper. Q. wants to go alone.
66.30 Goodbye to wife, getting ready. “Gone fishing.”

ACT TWO B

Sequence F

69.30 On ocean, near accident and warning about compressed air.
71.30 Fishing reel moves, pulling. Q.: very big. Hooper: no shark.
76.00 Quint bossing. Hooper hates it. Don’t have to take abuse.
77.30 Chief throws bait, head of shark appears.
78.00 25-footer. 3 tons, is circling boat.
80.00 Q. is radio’ed by Brody’s wife, tells her all is fine.
80.30 Shark harpooned, takes barrel, disappears.
82.30 Chief wants to quit, get bigger boat. Sunset.

Sequence G

83.00 Q. & Hooper compare scars, drink.
86.00 Quint’s shark story of the Indianapolis, ’45.
89.30 Whale song, singing together, bonding.
90.30 Boat under attack, start engines, shark leaves.

Sequence H

92.30 Barrel back, they rope it in, shark appears.
94.00 Brody: Mayday. Quint kills radio.
95.00 Hook up another barrel, harpooned & taken by shark.
96.00 Shark is chasing boat, harpooned, 2 barrels & shooting.
97.30 Shark attack

99.30 Shark eats rope, coming closer, more shooting, 3 barrels.
100.0 Shark tows boat, Quint cuts rope
102.3 Decision to head in towards shallow waters.
104.0 Quint at full power, bearings burned, stopped & fire.
105.0 Stuck, sinking & waiting

ACT THREE

Sequence I

106.0 Hooper’s plan: goes into cage with poison.
108.0 shark attacks & fight with Hooper.
111.0 Pull him up! The winch breaks, the cage stays down
112.0 Shark attacks boat, it starts sinking, Quint is taken.
113.0 Brody alone, bull fight, throws tank into shark’s mouth.
114.0 Brody shoots the tank, shark explodes
115.0 Shark sinks to the sea bed.

116.0 Hooper resurfaces.
117.0 Two men swimming to land with the two barrels.
115.3 Shark dies.

Sequence J

116.0 Hooper returns
117.0 Swimming with barrels

Under the surface of this suspenseful monster movie there is a powerful character journey. I once believed this movie is simply about Brody overcoming his fear of water. It is about much more than that.

Brody escaped the hazards of hardcore NY police work to find peace in Amity, where “one man can make a difference”.

But is he ready to make a difference?

When his wife tells him to be careful, he replies: “on this island?”. He is minimising any dangers before they even occur.

Brody is also dealing with symptoms rather than tackle the causes head-on. He tells his son not to play on the swings rather than reparing them. In the same way he tells his wife not to use the fireplace in the den before he goes out on the sea.

In the course of the story, Brody will learn to dig to the heart of the problem and resolve it at the root.

– Read the part about Jaws in this blog post for a brief introduction to the difference between a character’s WANT, NEED and LONGING.
– Read this blog post about what Jaws would look like if it were made today. Warning: not serious.
– ‘Jaws’ took a bite out of movie history 35 years ago this week.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A

– Tony Stark visits soldiers on duty in the Middle East.
– The convoy is attacked, the soldiers are quickly killed.
– Stark flees when a bomb explodes, severely wounding Tony’s chest.
– Tony is captured and recorded by a group of terrorists.

FLASHBACK

– Tony’s history as a child prodigy, taking over his father’s company at 21.
– Colonel Rhodes presents Tony with an award in his absence.
– Stane accepts the award in Tony’s honor.
– Rhody finds Tony partying in a casino.
– Reporter Christine approaches Stark with questions regarding ethics.Stane
– The two end up spending the night together.
– Christine is greeted by Tony’s assistant, “Pepper” as she leaves the house.
– Pepper helps Tony with some business before he heads out to the airport.
– In flight, Tony talks with Rhody, who is unhappy about Tony’s attitude.
– Tony gets Rhody to relax, they get drunk and have an in-flight party.
– At a military outpost, Tony demonstrates the Jericho, a missile system.
– Tony goes off with the convoy that is soon attacked by terrorists.

SEQUENCE B

– Tony regains consciousness, his chest is hooked up to a strange device.
– His cellmate Yinsen explains the device keeps shrapnel out of Tony’s heart.
– The captors tell Tony to build a Jericho. Tony refuses and they torture him.
– The terrorists show off a huge weapons stockpile and Tony starts building.
– With Yinsen’s help, Tony constructs a super power generator.
– Tony designs a powered weapon suit to defeat the terrorists.
– Terrorist Raza, attempts to torture Yinsen and gives them one more day.
– Yinsen and Tony set off a bomb as distraction as Tony powers up his suit.
– Yinsen grabs a gun and runs off to distract the surviving guards.
– Tony muscles his way through the cave, his suit deflects weapon fire.
– A dying Yinsen encourages Tony to not waste his life as he escapes.
– Tony destroys their weapons, the armor is ruined, but he is alive.
– US helicopters fly overhead, a group of soldiers led by Rhody, find Tony.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C

– Back home Tony announces to shut down Stark Industries’ Weapons.
– Agent Coulson tells Pepper he wants to talk to Tony about his capture.
– Stane confronts Tony about his actions, furious.
– Tony wants Stark Industries to move forward with Ark Reactor technology.
– Stane tells Tony to lay low for a while so the company can sort things out.
– During the upgrade of the Ark Reactor, Tony verges on cardiac arrest.
– Pepper helps in the process, she’s told to get rid of the old model.
– Rhodes says Stark is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
– Tony starts upgrading his armored suit to “Mark 2,”.
– The terrorists gather all fragments of the original armor in the desert.
– Tony perfects the armor’s flight system.
– Pepper comes in and leaves a box on Tony’s desk.
– Stane and the board filed an injunction to gain control of Stark Ind.
– Tony completes the upgrade of his flight system.
– A test flight shows Tony the power supply shuts down at great heights.
– After a near-crash, Tony crashes through three floors of the house.

SEQUENCE D

– Tony finds Pepper’s box with “Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart.”
– Tony rebuilds the suit to solve the icing problem, to code name Mark 3.
– Tony leaves to attend his benefit dinner while the suit is being painted.

MID POINT:

– At the charity event Agent Coulson wants to learn about the incident.
– Tony and Pepper share a moment together in the moonlight.
– Christine challenges him on his weapons being used in the Middle East.
– Stane reveals he filed the injunction against Tony.
– Tony is furious, transforms into Iron Man for the first time.

SEQUENCE E

– In the Middle East, Iron Man defeats the terrorists, destroys their weapons.
– Two F-22 jets spot him.
– Col. Rhodes contacts Tony, who plays ignorant.
– The jets are too much and Tony reveals to Rhodes he is responsible.
– Iron Man is hit by one fighter jet but saves a pilot’s life.
– Tony convinces Rhody to pass it all off as a “training exercise.”
– Back at home, Pepper catches him removing the Iron Man armor.

SEQUENCE F

– The terrorists are visited by none other than Stane.
– He paid them to kill Stark, but they demanded a much higher price.
– Stane takes the remnants of the Mark 1 armor they have gathered.
– Pepper agrees to help Tony.
– In Stane’s office she finds evidence he was behind Tony’s capture.
– Stane realizes what she was up to.
– Agent Coulson agrees to help stop Stane with his fellow agents.
– Stane cannot figure out how to create a power source for the suit.
– Stane arrives at Tony’s house and paralyzes him with a sonic weapon.
– Stane yanks out the power source from Tony’s heart.
– Tony gets the Ark Reactor that Pepper gave him.
– Tony gets the power source installed just as Rhody arrives.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE G

– Pepper and Coulson spot the Mark 1 Armor, Stane attacks them.
– Iron Man fights Iron Monger, with half power in the suit.
– Tony grabs Iron Monger and climbs higher, then loses him.
– Iron Man is now almost completely powerless.
– Tony instructs Pepper to overload the building’s Ark Reactor.
– Pepper is hesitant, believing that Tony could also be killed.
– Tony manages to keep fighting while she builds up power to the Reactor.
– The Ark explodes, killing Stane, injuring Tony but saving him from death.

SEQUENCE H

– At a press conference Tony adopts the name “Iron Man”.
– Coulson: cover stories about Stane and the “truth” about Iron Man.
– Tony goes before the reporters once more, and declares “I am Iron Man.”

EPILOGUE

Back home, Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. talks about “The Avenger Initiative.”

Thank you to IMDb for the full synopsis.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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The start of Act Two is a good place to move to the antagonist’s POV.

We have just seen that our protagonist is ready to take on the main mission of the film. He knows what he is up against, he may even have a plan on how to approach it.

At the beginning of Act Two, you can immediately increase the stakes by creating dramatic irony. You show the protagonist only knows half of the truth and the antagonist is really a lot more powerful and the protagonist may be missing a crucial piece of information.

The shift can happen to any other character, exceptionally even to an omniscient POV. But the most powerful and most frequently used POV outside the protagonist will be that of the antagonist.

Almost always does this increase the stakes as you show how well the villain is prepared, how much stronger this character is than we (and the protagonist) believed and what he/she is capable of.

One of my favourite Act Two opening scenes is in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. Roger Thornhill has to clear his name of the UN murder and he must find out why he is being mistaken for the mysterious Mr. Roger Kaplan.

At the opening of Act Two we are in a boardroom full of unknown faces. The audience’s instinctive reaction will be to find a character to empathise with, to latch on to. None such in this scene.

This is the Secret Service, discussing a fictitious agent, created by them as a decoy for the spies. Now Roger Thornhill has been identified by the spies as this imaginary agent, the secret’s service’s plan works better than hoped for.

Not only do we now know Thornhill’s predicament, we also realise he cannot expect any support from the government as confirmed in the last line of the scene, spoken by one of the agents:

SECRET AGENT
Goodbye, Mr. Thornhill, wherever you are.

This scene shows how powerful a shift of POV can be to reveal an important piece of information the protagonist doesn’t have.

Another favorite example of dramatic irony created by a shifting point of view is taken from ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST and it constitutes the Mid Point Reversal.

McMurphy has just been on a fishing trip with his mates, sampling freedom outside the asylum.

The next scene shows the staff of the asylum discussing his fate, whether they should send him back to the work farm or keep him. McMurphy’s antagonist nurse Ratched drives the scene and the outcome is disastrous: he will stay in the asylum indefinitely.

See also:

Omniscient POV
Shifting POV
When to Shift?
POV in Ratatouille’s Deleted Scene
POV as Controller of Tone

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Terminator 2 offers amazing entertainment, with groundbreaking visual effects and unexpected character layers.

Just like he did five years earlier with Aliens, co-writer/director James Cameron delivered an exceptionally satisfying sequel.

ACT ONE

Sequence A: Two Terminators

00.00 Girl on swings, idyllic ‘silence before the storm’
01.00 2029, war against the machines. Humans lose.
02.30 Narrator: 2 terminators, which one will arrive first?
05.30 First Terminator (T1) arrives, familiar face.
06.30 Enters bar, asks for clothes, boots, bike. -“Please!”
08.30 Fight, T1 takes what he needs, doesn’t shoot man.
09.00 Bar owner tries to stop him. T1 takes glasses & gun.
10.00 Terminator Two (T2) arrives, takes police car.
11.30 T2 searches for John Connor: juvenile delinquent.
12.00 John about foster mum: “She’s not my mother!”

Sequence B: Sarah Connor needs to get out

13.00 Sarah in asylum, forced to take pills.
16.00 Foster parents tell T2 about biker, give T2 photo.
17.00 John robs teller with friend, “Mum’s a total loser”.
18.00 Sarah has vision of Kyle: “Protect him, soldier!”
21.00 Sarah’s vision: Nuclear blast.
21.30 Review: Sarah now denies everything, to get out.
25.00 D.I. Dyson: parts of Terminator kept and studied.
26.30 Review verdict : 6 more months! Sarah explodes.

Sequence C: John in more trouble than ever

27.30 John in game gallery, T2 sees him.
28.30 Both Terminators are approaching John.
30.30 T1: “Get down!”, gunfight, T2 turns into liquid metal.
32.30 Terminators follow John, chase.
33.00 T2 takes truck.
34.00 Chase in aqueduct.
36.00 T1 picks up John, truck explodes.
37.00 John: “Time out!”-T1: “You sent me to protect you.”

ACT TWO

Sequence D: John realises and takes control

39.00 T2 takes cop car.
39.30 T1 explains mission and advantages of T2.
40.00 Calling Janelle. T1: “Your foster parents are dead”.
42.00 T2 sees dogs tag, knows John is with T1.
43.00 Sarah interviewed, prepares escape.
44.00 John realises his mum was right about future.
45.30 John manipulates T1 to help and protect mum.
46.00 John tells T1 not to kill, tests on two punks.

Sequence E: Sarah finally getting out

47.30 Sarah tied to bed, has pin, nurse abuses her.
49.00 Sarah escapes, T2 arrives at asylum.
50.00 T2 kills guard, copies him (takes his form).
53.00 Sarah knocks nurse down and escapes.
53.30 T2 back to normal, looking for her.
54.00 John makes T1 swear not to kill anyone.
55.00 Sarah uses syringe as threat and escapes.
57.00 T2 hears alarm.
58.00 Sarah sees T1, freaks out. John: OK, here to help.
59.30 T1 shoots at T2, liquid sword duel in elevator.

61.00 Heroes escape in cop car, leave T2 behind.
63.30 Sarah: “John, that was stupid.” John hurt.

Sequence F: Regrouping for a new objective

65.30 Repairing T1.
66.00 T1 explains to John; life expectancy: 120ys.
67.00 John stops Sarah from killing T1.
70.00 T1 stands guard all night.
70.30 Heading South; John teaches T1 slang. “Smile!”

73.30 T1 tells about Dyson and Skynet, military comp.
75.00 Going after Dyson. “I have detailed files.”

Sequence G: Dyson must be stopped.

75.30 Dyson at home at work, on a roll.
78.00 Enrique: provides weapons and truck to heroes.
81.00 John & T1, Sarah watches.
87.00 Sarah has a vision of the blast.
89.00 Sarah rides off alone, to stop the future.

90.00 John realises Sarah’s plan: Let’s go!

Sequence H: Dyson becomes an ally

91.30 Sarah shoots at Dyson, misses.
94.30 Sarah spares Dyson.
95.00 John and T1 arrive.
96.00 T1 assists Dyson medically
97.00 T1 explains future, shows cyber-arm.
99.00 Dyson accepts to destroy everything.

99.30 All go to Cyberdyne.

Sequence I: Destruction of a fatal future

100.0 A black highway at night. Entering Cyberdyne.
102.0 Guard finds colleague tied up, for calls backup.
104.0 T2 arrives at Dysons’, hears police message.
104.3 Our heroes destroy files & items at Cyberdyne.
105.3 Police arrives Cyberdyne.
107.3 T1 shoots at police cars, without killing.
109.0 John & Dyson destroy chip.
110.3 Police shoot Dyson.
112.0 Police find Dyson w/ detonators: explosion.

ACT THREE

Sequence J: Getting out

113.0 T2 arrives.

114.0 T1 immobilizes police.
115.3 T1 gets van, John & Sarah get in, T2 takes heli.
117.0 Chase, gun fight between heli and van.
119.3 Heli crashes, T2 takes truck with liquid nitrogen.
120.3 T2 in truck chases heroes in ute. Road duel.
123.3 Truck crash. T1 shoots frozen T2: “Hasta la vista!”
125.0 Steel ovens, heat melts T2 together again.

Sequence K: Final Confrontation

126.0 T2 chases heroes inside steel mill.
128.0 T1 leaves heroes to confront T2, gets stuck.
129.0 T2 goes for John and Sarah.
130.0 Sarah tells John to run. Sarah vs. T2.
131.3 T1 comes to help, finished off by T2.
134.0 T1 goes to alternate power.
134.3 John hears mother call for help, real one appears.
135.0 Mother pumps shotgun empty, T2 regenerates.
136.0 T1 appears with grenade.
136.3 T2 falls in hot liquid metal bath.
139.0 T1 asks to be terminated. John cries.
142.0 T2 terminated.
142.3 TITLES

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Because the plot points are often quite subtle, structurally this film seems a bit fluid and the protagonist’s objective is never explicitly stated. Yet there is a clear Hero’s Journey, with Enid Crossing the Threshold to enter and discover the Special World of Seymour. But where does this happen, at the end of Sequence B or C?

(UPDATE Nov 2010: Looking at Sequence C, with the introduction of the art class as sequence opening device, it is clear to me that this is where Act Two starts. I have also moved Sequence I into Act Three because Enid’s confession to Seymour “you’re my hero” is effectively the climax of their relationship. For the first time she shows the courage and honesty to tell him what she had been feeling ever since first seeing him.)

Enid is a reluctant character, and although she decides to enter the Special World, it is under a pretext. She will be resisting her attraction to Seymour (the Call to Adventure) until the second half of Act Two, when she explicitly suggests to Seymour she could move in (an Approach to the Inmost Cave).

At the end of Act Two, Enid goes through the crisis of losing both Becky and Seymour. The truth about her cruel joke on Seymour has to come out (an Ordeal, both for Enid and Seymour) before she is ready to move on.

I’m not sure if Enid’s visit to the hospital should be seen as the end of Act Two or the first scene of Act Three. Because the scene can be experienced as Enid’s redemption (the victim of her joke she calls now her hero) and she is finally honest about her feelings, I decided to put it in Act Two.

The scenes printed in blue represent the comic book source material that is – almost verbatim – included in the film. It shows how this is more than just an adaptation. It is almost entirely an original story, inspired by the characters created in the comic.

ACT ONE

SEQUENCE A: Life after Graduation

00.00 Panning across rear windows, against 50’s music.
02.30 Eccentric Enid, in her room, is dancing to the music.
03.00 Student graduation speeches; Enid &Rebecca roll eyes.
04.00 Gossiping outside school.
05.00 Enid & Rebecca in bar, making fun of un-cool girl.
06.00 Todd, making fun of the two girls.
07.30 Dennis, dork – not seeing him again: depressing.
08.00 Enid at breakfast with dad: an icon of boredom.
09.00 Enid & Becky at diner making fun, follow old ‘satanists’.
10.30 Wowsville, 50’s diner; Weird Al serves.
11.30 Personals ‘striking blonde’: plan for joke.


SEQUENCE B: A Cruel Joke

12.00 At Enid’s: calling the number, date at Wowsville.
14.00 Annoying Josh at the store, Doug interferes.
15.30 Please, Josh, give us a ride.
16.00 Driving with Josh.
16.30 Rebecca about Al “I want to make love to him.”
17.00 Seymour walks in, has vanilla milkshake.
18.00 Seymour leaves, cruel joke
18.30 Seymour’s near-accident; following; E. feels sympathy.

ACT TWO

SEQUENCE C: Getting closer to Seymour

19.30 Art class;teacher announces community show.
21.00 Looking for flat, stalking Seymour, check his mail.
21.30 Garage sale; Seymour sells record. E.’s impressed.
24.00 Diner, E.: he’s almost cool. Un-cool friend: “funky”.
26.00 Enid dyes hair green, father enters. Rebecca watching.
26.30 Let’s go hassle Josh. Old man Norman at bus stop.
27.30 Josh is not home; Enid’s note: “You are gay.”
28.30 Johnny (magazine shop) provokes “punk rock is over!”
30.00 Enid plays Seymour’s record on repeat.
32.00 Seymour shows her the original 78.

SEQUENCE D: A Challenge for Enid

33.00 Art Class: politically correct art in ‘higher category’.
35.30 Jamie @ Masterpiece Video, 8 1/2, go to surprise party.
36.30 Seymour’s Record Party: loser cracks on to Rebecca.
39.30 Enid in his record room, to Seymour: “You’re cool.”
40.30 I am your personal Dating Service.
42.00 Seymour’s type? Introduce him to Josh; he is shocked.
42.30 Taking S. to Anthony’s Adult: having fun, cat mask.
44.00 Becca’s at work, sick of losers; E.’s job? working on it.
45.30 Dad & Maxine: to bed early – art class for retards.

SEQUENCE E: Enid and Seymour have things in common

46.30 Art class – controversial imagery!
48.00 At diner, invited to band performance, Enid jealous
49.30 In car w/ Seymour; about music, misanthrope
50.30 Bands perform; Enid pushes S. to date; ruins it
53.30 Driving back; can’t relate to 99% of humanity
54.00 At Seymour’s, the story of Coon. Can I borrow?

SEQUENCE F: Things change when Seymour has a date

56.30 Takes Coon to class
58.30 Candy counter, turning customers away
60.00 Fired after one day? Some ideas for money.
61.30 Yard sale. Not selling. Forgot birthday cake.
62.00 Birthday, tells S. about Josh obsession.
63.30 Voice mail from redhead, Enid pushes to call.
64.30 Shopping w/ Becky, who’s sick of Seymour.
66.00 Dana visits Seymour; Enid reads.
67.00 D. & S. dancing; D. wants to see art movie.
68.30 Enid jealous, calls Becky, doesn’t want to see her.
70.00 Seymour; “Dana works out”. Dana arrives.
71.30 Enid almost ruins it, claims she hooked them up.

SEQUENCE G: Lots of offers but no friends.

72.30 Art Class: scholarship offered.
73.30 Dad has job for Enid, she is not interested.
74.30 Art Exhibition: critics hate Coon.
75.30 Seymour doesn’t show because of Dana.
77.30 With Norman on bench. Leaving town.
78.30 Fighting with Becky over flat, they split.

79.30 Dad says Maxine will move in.

SEQUENCE H: Enid wants to move in. With anybody.

80.30 Art Academy: no passing grade, no scholarship.
81.30 To Seymour: move in with you. Don’t you like me?
85.00 Post-coital; Seymour about moving in. Sleeping.
86.00 Seymour wakes up, Enid is gone.
86.30 Seymour goes to break up with Dana.
87.30 Maxine acts like mother; Seymour msg: moving in.
88.30 to Becky: I really want to move in with you.

ACT THREE

SEQUENCE I: Losing it all. A confession

89.30 Seymour alone, calls Enid, no answer.
90.00 Boss calls Seymour: Coon art in newspaper.
90.30 Becky’s new place.
91.30 Enid is packing.
93.00 Becky tells Seymour about Enid’s blind date joke.
94.30 Seymour threatens Josh, Doug: citizen’s arrest.
95.30 Enid visits Seymour in hospital: You’re my hero.

SEQUENCE J: Different paths

97.30 Enid & Becky on bench, reconciling.
99.00 Norman’s bus arrives.
100.0 Seymour with shrink, mother waits outside.
101.0 Enid on bench.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Not all of these films are recent and audience’s expectation may have changed since these films were released. I believe that film goers have become more demanding in terms of structure. Some of the stories that worked then, would today be considered as structurally flawed.

Still, if you look at the protagonist’s journey, you will find that most – if not all – have a clear Inciting Incident, Act One Turning Point (Plot Point 1), Act Two Turning Point (PP2), Climax and Resolution.

In ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, the Inciting Incident is foreshadowed by presenting the antagonists before we meet our hero Bishop. The sheer violence of the gang puts their storyline on a collision course with Bishop. Right from the start, even before he realises (Dramatic Irony) it puts him in extreme jeopardy, which is an effective way to make an audience connect with the protagonist.

This movie written and directed by John Carpenter is not only very entertaining, it is structured around a powerful reversal. The first (outer) objective of Wilson is to keep the convicts inside the police station, thus protecting the outside world from them. At the mid point, this reverses completely: now he needs to protect the convicts from the gang assaulting the police station.

The structural breakdown was done in a single viewing, without going back to check and most likely I will be wrong here and there. Particularly the Inciting Incident doesn’t seem to be strong enough, nor is there any reluctance or clear plot point leading to the ‘crossing of the threshold’. See for yourself and try to improve my breakdown of this film’s structure.

ACT ONE

SEQ. A: BISHOP’S FIRST DAY: A DANGEROUS AREA
02.40 DI: Anderson, CAL, 3.10am: 6 gang members killed by police
04.30 Press conference: weapons missing, serious threat
05.00 DI: Three war lords become blood brothers, arsenal of weapons
06.00 (04.50): Bishop driving, gets supervising duty Prec.9,div.13

SEQ. B: BISHOP GOES TO ANDERSON
08.30 DI: (05.11): Napoleon Wilson, on death row
10.00 DI: Wilson & Co are being transported
12.30 (05.32): Bishop driving
13.00 DI: (05.37) Father & Daughter lost in Anderson
15.00 DI: Gang members driving in car with weapons
16.00 (05.49): Bishop arrives, deputy informs captain, coffee with Kathy
20.30 Captain briefs bishop: first day on the job.

ACT TWO

SEQ. C: GETTING READY FOR THE NIGHT, NEW TASK
22.30 DI: (06.18) Punk trains gun on people while driving; ice cream van.
24.30 DI: (06.41) Transport goes to Anderson, convict is sick
28.00 DI: Punk kills girl and ice cream man
32.30 Bishop puts up sign as bus arrives, convicts go in holding tanks

SEQ. D: THE CONVICTS BECOME ALLIES; STATION UNDER SIEGE
34.30 Wilson checks out Bishop, men check out Kathy.
36.00 DI: (07.00) Father kills murderer, escapes into Police station
38.30 Nobody in car park. Phone dead. Chaney leaves, power down.
40.30 Bishop goes out, is being shot at. Chaney is dead. Silencers.
41.30 Transport minders shot. Police station under siege.

SEQ. E: REVERSAL – KEEPING THE GANGSTERS OUT
45.00 Making plans: flares; waiting for help; gang army approaches
50.30 Marked for a siege. Do they want father of killed girl?
52.00 Gangsters start assault; move in; Wilson fights back, shoots.
54.30 Everybody helps holding the gangsters at bay; armed. Silence.

SEQ. F: STAYING ALIVE
57.00 Julie dead; barricading doors. Squad car here in 5mins (he hopes).
60.30 Explosives in basement; cars back, bodies gone. All in 30mins.
63.00 Not afraid to die: convict knows about ‘ciolo’ revenge; save ass (Wells)
65.00 Counting spare ammo. Wilson gets a cigaret from Kathy.

SEQ. G: GETTING OUT
66.00 Patrol car Unit 7 checking the area
67.30 (08.15): Basement solution – hotwire car.
70.00 Wells goes out: “I’m doomed.”
71.00 Someone will come. “A man with faith”. Wells’ mission fails.

ACT THREE

SEQ. H: SETTING UP A TRAP
74.30 Renewed attack: “out of luck”; basement
78.00 The explosives; patrol: nothing unusual, phone worker dead.
80.00 Molotov attack, invasion & explosion

SEQ. I: HELP ARRIVES
83.00 Police support: “Anybody’s got a smoke?”
84.00 Bishop defends Wilson

(DI: Dramatic Irony)

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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