Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson

It’s two years before the American Civil War, and a liberal and articulate bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz) frees slave Django (Jamie Foxx) to help him identify three sadistic brothers who were once Django’s overseers. Django gets a taste for the work and they partner up, but Django’s ultimate goal is to locate and free his wife, from whom he was separated when they tried to run away together.

This is a Tarantino film, so no-one gets shot… if there’s an option for them to explode in a spray of gore instead. Think of it as a homage to spaghetti westerns, but with extra sauce. It’s violent and funny, though the most painful comedy moment is Quentin trying to do an Australian (or possibly South African) accent in a cameo role. His usual whimsies push running time to 165 mins, but it rarely drags.

8/10

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson

The pig-headed mayor of a small coastal town, Porpoise Spit Dolphin Heads, has a downtrodden wife (Rebecca Gibney in a fat suit) who’s off with the fairies, plus five inconvenient daughters. So when the missus is obliged to undergo some residential therapy, he offers a total stranger, Shaz (Toni Collette) a job as their nanny.

The eldest girl apparently tried to kill herself a couple of years back and one of the younger ones is schizophrenic, but the feisty Shaz sets about improving the daughters’ and wife’s self-esteem, despite being distinctly unhinged herself.

This is a bit unconvincing and try-hard, and it doesn’t do much to advance the cause of mental health, but there are some laughs and Liev Schreiber’s Aussie accent is very impressive.

6/10

Released October 4, 2012

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chrome was nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

by Jonathan Empson

Films could have sex and violence and bad language. Yum.

These days, that’s all changed. Everything’s HD, digital effects are cheaper and televisions are bigger, so TV writers are able to ‘upsize’ their average scene from being just two blokes talking in a small room. Hence creature-feature series like Falling Skies and sweeping period dramas like The Borgias look cinematic rather than cheap and cheesy (check out the 1980s Borgias series for comparison). And subscription TV has allowed for more ‘adult’ material to be broadcast.

These days, film is pretty much having to justify its existence.

It’s currently doing so by outspending TV, either on big-budget international franchises (Spider-Man, Batman, Bourne and Bond in 2012) or on multi-star ensembles (What to Expect When You’re Expecting etc). Or ideally, both (Avengers).

But those of us who don’t already have George Clooney attached to our scripts are going to be asked by agents, producers and funding bodies, “Why is this a film?” And specifically, “Why would someone pay to see this at the cinema?”
I’ve been asked that about two of my recent feature scripts, including Leonardo’s War, a (surprisingly factual) historical comedy about Leonardo da Vinci’s rivalry with Michelangelo. It’s full of Renaissance cityscapes, battles and gigantic artworks (with Clooney playing Leonardo, obviously). The stuff of cinema, surely? Well, apparently not. In the words of one agent,

The fact that The Borgias can be made for TV kills the period film.
If you can grab a slice of historical drama without moving from your sofa,
why the fuck would you pay to see the same thing in a cinema?”

Cinema’s stuffed, then…

Of course, some stories will work only as stand-alone features because they’re about one-off events. It’s hard to imagine, say, The King’s Speech or Margin Call as TV series. But from the scripts, it’s easy to imagine them (with less stellar casts) as made-for-TV movies. And those can be a hard sell – in Australia at least – because TV networks don’t like one-off dramas: they like series that can draw a regular audience. That’s probably why it took David Seidler 20 years to get The King’s Speech made.

So, you may have to ask yourself not whether your movie works on TV,
but if it could work as a TV series instead.

I’m using the word ‘series’ loosely, as these days it’s pretty rare to find a show where episodes are entirely stand-alone and viewable in any order, as was once the case with Colombo, Magnum or the average old sitcom. TV networks used to like such ‘pure’ series because it didn’t matter if you missed the first episode(s): you could join in later after your friends told you how good it was. These days we have endless ‘encore viewings’, video on demand and hard-drive recorders, so most series have at least a few serial elements – usually character back stories or developing relationships – that play out over multiple episodes/series and engage viewers long-term.

Such longer arcs are still pretty light-on in shows such as Castle, Covert Affairs and Person of Interest, but Downton Abbey – a classic example of turning a movie (Gosford Park) into a TV show – is a pure serial.

Most shows walk a middle ground, with a story-of-the-week A-plot
mixed with B-plot and other threads that span other episodes.

It’s the typical cop/legal/medical series format, which is why they’re enduringly popular – think The Good Wife, CSI, House. Most cult series, meanwhile, extend the plot alphabet down to V and W over five or more seasons – think The Wire, Mad Men.
At the more trashy end of the spectrum, Revenge was smart in starting as a series, with the heroine picking off a fresh victim every week, then morphing into a serial once the viewers were on board.

In the US, networks are feverishly hunting for shows with a seven-year lifespan; in Australia and the UK, shorter runs are the norm. Hence they often have a clear destination right from the start, such as Life on Mars (Sam working out how to get back to his own time) or Laid (Roo working out why all her sex partners keep dying). But with, of course, a way of developing further series out of it. So your first task is to work out the ‘shape’ of your TV series/serial.

Next time I’ll discuss pilots, series bibles and my TV series, Chrome – and why it got optioned and AWGIE-nominated, but hasn’t (yet) been made.

– © Jonathan Empson

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

I know it’s just me, but when I look at Ryan Kwanten, I think of a potato. Same thing with Ryan Reynolds. But hey, potatoes are so hot right now.

Here Ryan K plays young and wild Jonah, who makes a somewhat implausible living running paid-entry parties at the house he inherited from his late mum. He shares it with the emotionally unintelligent Gus (Ryan Corr, not potatoey) and the level-headed but relationship-damaged Stevie (Sarah Snook, excellent). Then Jonah cops a testicular cancer diagnosis and the cure will render him infertile. Then it turns out his man-juice won’t survive cryogenics: if he wants kids, it’s now or never.

Jonah’s mad search for a potential mother should be the stuff of farce, but the comedy here is more subtle, and writer Michael Lucas keeps the outcome unpredictable. Nicely done.

7/10

Released June 28, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chrome was nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

Antoine has it all. (Oh dear: you don’t want to be a character who has it all at the start of a film.) He has beautiful kids and a hot wife, and he’s a hot international DJ. He also speaks French (which is hot) as this is a French Canadian film. But Antoine is obsessed by a sense that he cocked up his life when he split up with his first love.

Interleaved with his story are two others: of a single mum (Vanessa Paradis) struggling to raise a son with Down syndrome in Sixties Paris, and of a woman plagued by strange dreams.

The stories are connected but, um, not well, and it’s directionless for too long. But there are great performances (especially the kids), some beautifully observed moments and a resonant dramatic question: can two people be each other’s whole world?

6/10

Released April 26, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chrome was nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.
His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

This melodrama set in post-war London starts with Hester (Rachel Weisz) trying to kill herself in a traditionally genteel 1950s way – with gas. Perhaps it’s to avoid having to star in the rest of this rather glacial film, and it represents the high point of the action.

Hester has left her wealthy, conservative, sweet but passionless (and older) husband to run off with an ex-fighter pilot who’s finding peacetime a bit of a bore, and Hester a bit clingy. It’s a grim and unliberated time to be a woman, and Hester is short of options despite her independent streak.

Small in ambition and minimalist in plot, this is nevetheless more watchable than you might think, largely thanks to the mesmerising Weisz.

6/10

Released April 15, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

Fisheries boffin Fred Jones (Ewan McGregor) doesn’t suffer fools gladly, so when Harriet (Emily Blunt), a sheik’s UK adviser, asks him to head a project to bring salmon to the Yemen for sport fishing, he tells her to sling her hook. Then the PM’s fearsome press secretary (Kristin Scott Thomas) gets wind of this rare good-news story from the Middle East: Patricia’s tongue is so sharp and barbed, she could probably hook and fillet a salmon with no other equipment. Fred soon feels the rod on his back.

But Fred warms to the project, the sheik and, of course, Harriet. However, they’re both in relationships, and how they deal with these is one of the clunkier aspects of this rom-com, which is also a little lacking in stakes and thematic coherence. But it more than makes up for it with crackling dialogue and wit as dry as the Yemeni desert.

8/10

Released April 5, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

Original title: Un Amour de Jeunesse

Camille (Lola Creton) is sexy but clingy, and suffering teen angst over the imminent departure of her boyfriend Sullivan to South America. The angst continues into her 20s as he falls off the map and she studies to be an architect. Will she ever get over him? Only her architectural models reveal her inner state (as opposed to her face, as Camille wears more or less the same pouty and intense expression throughout).

Warning: this is a very French film, meaning it starts in the middle and is pretty much still in the middle when it ends. But with lots of scenes of people romping around the beautiful Ardèche countryside, it’s as easy on the eye as its star.

6/10

Released April 5, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

We first meet Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) as respective geek and jock teens failing to get to their high school prom. Years later, they’re unlikely partners helping each other get through police academy.

After cocking up their first arrest they’re assigned to a school undercover program run by Ice Cube, who embraces the Angry Black Captain stereotype. Their job is to return to high school posing as students in order to crack a party-drugs ring.

The case proves much less challenging than negotiating the new blurry nerd/cool categories, but they soon discover this is life giving them a second chance at growing up.

This bromance is, surprisingly, a great deal of fun, with lots of left-field humour from writer Michael Bacall (Scott Pilgrim vs the World) peppering the farce. And for a rubber-coated brick, Channing Tatum is remarkably funny.

8/10

Released March 15, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.

Mercifully Short Review
by Jonathan Empson

Set in the decade before WWI, this is the story of Carl Jung’s (Michael Fassbender) early application of Sigmund Freud’s new theories of psychoanalysis, as Freud didn’t seem to have much interest himself in actually treating patients. (While Freud seems to be played by James Mason, it’s actually Viggo Mortensen in prosthetics.)

Christopher Hampton’s script is based on his own play and most scenes are of two people talking, with enlivening interludes of Jung thrashing a half-dressed Keira Knightley (or at least once a week, ho ho). Keira plays Sabina Spielrein, whose childhood traumas are behind her masochistic bent. Jung successfully treats her, but discovers there has to be a boundary between therapy and involvement.

Low-key but engaging and witty, this is far from a ‘talking cure’ for insomnia. As with therapy, however, you shouldn’t go in expecting a clear-cut destination.

7/10

Released March 8, 2012.

Jonathan Empson’s TV script Chromewas nominated for an AWGIE in 2010.

His recently completed historical drama-comedy feature Leonardo’s War is in circulation, and his black comedy-thriller Get Out of Here has been optioned.

He is represented by Rick Raftos Management.