_______________________________

With thanks to Sol.

Feel free to give your feedback in the Questions and Comments below.

Enjoy!

Karel

_______________________________

With thanks to Sol.

Feel free to give your feedback in the Questions and Comments below.

COMING SOON to the Story Department:

Best of Mystery Man
6 Avatar Comparisons
Book Review: Writing the Action-Adventure Film

Enjoy!

Karel

by Karel Segers

To my taste – I was not raised on popcorn fare – James Cameron is the only true-bred Hollywood writer-director. His cinema is high concept, superbly entertaining and truly spectacular.

He understands the craft of mainstream cinematic storytelling like no other and like George Lucas back in the 1970’s, he seems to have been listening to Campbell:

And the only myth that is going to be worth thinking about

in the immediate future is one that is talking about the planet,

not the city, not these people, but the planet, and everybody on it.

-Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)

This part of the ‘POWER OF MYTH’ interview with Bill Moyers is effectively anticipating not just stories with a broad environmentalist message but a very specific type of stories like AVATAR and WALL-E.

It seems that the film’s Box Office confirms the audience’s need to see this type of mythology.  The overwhelming and continuing response to the film cannot be just reduced to its technological innovations.

The film is ultimately telling the myth we need to see(*).

Apart from the Gaia principle, AVATAR also expresses an other mythology that has been prominent in science fiction movies of the past decades: Man vs. Machine. Note the parallel between Jake’s Avatar and the Colonel’s exo-skeleton, the helis vs. the banshees etc.

It seems to me that the Hero’s Inner and Outer journey in AVATAR are split almost perfectly in parallel with Jake’s two alter egos: his human identity and his Avatar essence.

Although I’ve seen the film three times now (one viewing ruined by jet lag) I haven’t studied the structure thoroughly yet, as I’ve been pretty much holidaying since its release last month.

Please see the breakdown and notes below as a working structure; I’m keen to see your comments at the bottom of this post.

:: what follows is one big spoiler ::

For a full synopsis in narrative form, check the IMDb. I used this to fill in blanks in my own notes here and there. As usual with these overviews, there really is not much point trying to make sense of the breakdown without having seen the film.

ACT ONE

Sequence A: Pandora Ordinary World & Avatar Call to Adventure (19mins)

00.00    Fox Leader

00.30    Jake VO: Dreams of flying + waking up. “We’re there.”

02.00    Taking over brother’s contract; fresh start in a new world.

03.00    Landing on Pandora // intercut with brother’s cremation.

05.00    Jake in wheelchair: money can fix him. Vehicle with arrows in tyres.

06.30    Colonel: “Not in Kansas anymore.” Safety brief puts Jake’s mind at ease.

07.30    Norm shows Jake the Avatar.

09.00   Norm: “It looks like YOU. This is YOUR Avatar.”    Videolog: for science.

10.00    Grace ‘wrote the book’, she and Norm speak Na’vi.

11.00    Grace: “I need your brother.” She goes to complain to Parker.

12.00    Parker to Grace: Get me some results.

14.00    Jake lacks training. Goes in, to link with his Avatar. Grace going in, too.

16.00    Jake wakes up in Avatar. “Welcome to your new body, Jake!”

(=ENTERS SPECIAL WORLD OF AVATAR)

16.30    Jake walks, doesn’t listen, runs out, has fun. (=INNER JOURNEY CALL)

18.30    Meets Grace’s avatar (“Don’t play with that!”), then goes to sleep.

(=MEETING THE MENTOR)

Sequence B: Refusing Inner Call & Committing to Outer Journey (12mins)

19.00 Wakes up as Jake – “Welcome back”. (=REFUSAL OF THE CALL)

20.00 Introduced to Trudy, she flies the science sorties.

21.00 Col.: Provide intel, get real legs. “Report to me.” Jake: “Hell yes!”

(=CROSSING OUTER JOURNEY THRESHOLD)

23.30 Grace going in, with heli. Jack loves it. Ship lands.

(=SPECIAL WORLD OF PANDORA)

25.30 Jake explores. Lemurs. Helicoradian flowers. (=TESTS)

27.30 Titanotheres. Jake stands his ground. (=TEST)

29.30 Thanator. Grace: “Run, definitely run!” Jumps off waterfall.

(=SEPARATION, CROSSING THE FIRST THRESHOLD?)

ACT TWO (a)

Sequence C: Meeting Pandora Mentor & Omaticaya (17mins)

31.00 Avatar prepares spear, torch. // Neytiri watches, almost shoots.

32.30 Grace & Trudy looking for Avatar. “He won’t make it till morning.”

33.30 Keeps Viperwolfs at bay, but loses torch. Arrows save him.

35.30 Neytiri is saviour: “Strong heart and no fear; but stupid.”

38.00 She is mad at him, because killing animals is sad. “You’re like a baby.”

41.00 Seeds of Sacred tree land on Avatar; Neytiri stays with him.

41.30 They run. Tsu’Tey etc. appears on horses. They take him to the tribe.

44.00 Parents; mother Moat: “Teach him our ways. See if his insanity can be cured.”

47.00 Sleeping in the leaves of the Hometree.

Sequence D: Two conflicting journeys and a deadline (12mins)

48.30 Jake wakes up. -Is the Avatar safe?

49.00 Parker: Find me a carrot that will get them to move. Three months.

51.00 Jake identifies the Omaticaya from photos; Eywa is their God.

52.00 Avatar with Neytiri, on Direhorse. He connects and rides it.

54.00 Jake reports back.

54.30 To the Hallelujah Mountains to set up the science camp.

57.30 Neytiri and her flying Mountain Banshee. Choose your own when ready.

Sequence E: Avatar gets more deeply infiltrated, initiated (17mins)

60.00 Videolog-montage. Neytiri: ‘moron’. Grace: see forest through her eyes.

64.00 Videolog: Deep connection, network of energy, borrowed.

64.30 Jake shoots deer, says prayer. Neytiri: You’re ready. To banshees.

67.30 Under waterfall. Choose, you have one chance. It will try to kill you.

70.00 Fight. Make the bond! Jake falls, then ‘bonds’ & flies.

72.00 Neytiri follows. They fly together.

74.30 Debrief with Grace: The tree of souls. Most sacred place. Lucky swine!

75.30 Attacked by the giant Banshee, the Toruk.

76.30 Neytiri explains: great great grandfather rode the Toruk to unite tribes.

MID SEQUENCE

Sequence F: Jake/Avator reborn – one of the Omaticaya (7mins)

77.30 Everything is backwards now. Out there is true world. In here is the dream.

78.30 Col.doubts resolve. “Terminate mission! Legs back. Done deal. Get it done.”

80.30 “Every person is born twice.” Avatar to earn place among the people – forever.

81.30 Initiation ceremony.

83.00 Neytiri & Jake kiss. With you, Jake. Mated for life.

84.00 Videolog. Jake: “What the hell are you doing, Jake?”

ACT TWO (b)

Sequence G: First betrayal, one hour to negotiate retreat  (12mins)

84.30 Dozers roll in, Neytiri tries to wake him up//Jake eating //Avatar in danger.

86.00 Jack goes in. // Avatar wakes up; jumps on vehicle & kills video cameras.

87.30 Robo-suits go in. Fight. // Colonel ID’s Jake on photo. “Get me a pilot.”

88.00 Na’vi assemble & prepare for attack.

89.00 Neytiri: mated with him. Tsu’tey angry. “He’s not your brother!”

89.30 Avatar: “I am Omaticaya. One of you.”

90.00 Col. goes in to break the link. // Avatar falls. Tsu’tey doesn’t trust him anymore.

90.30 Col. angry. “You let me down.” Grace explains forest biology & pleads.

93.00 Jake’s videolog: “a waste of time. They’ll never leave hometree.”

94.00 Col. & Parker: Minimal casualties. Let’s pull the trigger.

94.30 Trudy: Parker is running the gunships. Jake: Let me try. Parker: One hour.

Sequence H: Diplomacy has failed. All-out war. Ordeal & Death (12mins)

96.00 Avatar pleads with Omaticaya. Neytiri: You’ll never be one. (=APPROACH)

97.30 They’re coming. Military attack on a tree. Na’vi killed.

99.00 Col.: One big tree. Diplomacy has failed. Let’s get this done. Fire!

101.3 Moat frees Jake & Grace: Help us! // Trudy defects. (=REWARD)

103.0 The tree comes down. (=ORDEAL)

105.0 Col.: Good work people!

105.3 Neytiri bemoans dying father. (=ORDEAL) To Avatar: “Never come back!”

106.3 Parker: pull the plug. Jake and Grace’s avatars fall. Na’vi flee.

FADE TO BLACK

ACT THREE

Sequence I: Na’vi armies prepare for battle (12mins)

108.0 Trudy frees Jake, Grace & Norm (=REWARD); they run to the ships.

109.3 Col. notified, runs after them, shoots. They fly off. (=THE ROAD BACK)

111.0 Grace is hurt. Hauling up the lab, fly to the Tree of Souls.

112.0 Jake: The people can help you. Grace: Why would they help us?

113.0 Omaticaya assemble at the Tree of Souls.

114.0 Jake VO: “Take it to a whole new level,” He tames Toruk and flies it.

115.0 Omaticaya praying at the Tree of Souls. Avatar arrives on Toruk.

117.3 Avatar calls on Tsu’Tey: I will fly with you. Praying for Grace.

121.0 Grace dies; with Eywa now. Avatar back to Omaticaya. (=ORDEAL)

122.0 Avatar rallying Omaticaya: Send a message! OUR land! (=RESURRECTION)

124.0 Recruiting more tribes.

Sequence J:  Military prepare and attack (17mins)

125.0 The Colonel rallying his troops: “Fight terror with terror!”

126.3 Jake is briefed by friends on the plans: 0600 tomorrow.

128.0 Avatar prays to Eywa, who protects the balance of life. (=ORDEAL)

129.3 Next day: Helis attack, carrying explosives.

131.0 Na’vi attack: sky and ground. Casualties on both sides.

134.3 Engage all hostiles! Scorpions: pursue and destroy!

136.0 Trudy intervenes: “You’re not the only one with a gun.”

137.0 On the ground: major casualties. Trudy sacrifices herself and ship.

138.3 Avatar can’t reach Tsu-tey, Norm, Trudy.

138.0 Preparing bomb for dropping.

139.3 Avatar to Neytiri: do NOT attack. An order.

140.0 Hold position… Animals come in to the rescue. Eywa’s heard you. (=REWARD)

Sequence K: Final Confrontation (15mins)

142.0 30 seconds to payload drop… Avatar intervenes.

143.0 Bombship falls & explodes; battle moves from the sky to the ground.

145.0 Col. moves towards camp, Neytiri attacks, trapped under killed animal.

146.3 Avatar appears, duels with Colonel. (=RESURRECTION)

148.0 “Hi Sully… How does it feel to betray your own race? Time to wake up.”

149.0 Jake has trouble breathing. Neytiri kills the Col. with bow & arrows.

151.0 Neytiri finds Jake, gives him oxygen. “I see you.”

Sequence L: Aftermath & New Life as a Na’vi

152.0 “The aliens returned to their dying world.”

152.3 Last video log. I don’t want to be late for my own party. Signing off.

154.0 Avatar: Na’vi Ceremony. Reborn as Avatar.

154.3 THE END

______________________________

ACT ONE

The end of Act One is not entirely obvious to me because unlike the Mid Point and Act Two, I don’t believe Cameron used a FADE TO BLACK – or else I’ve missed it.

Here’s my reasoning for putting the first act break where I did in the breakdown.

Jake’s longing is to get new legs. When the Col. says “I look after my own” and he promises Jake new legs in return for intel, this is a CALL TO ADVENTURE for Jake. There is no REFUSAL and he immediately accepts/CROSSES THE THRESHOLD by promising the Colonel he will report back to him (“Hell yes!”).

More important in this story from a structural perspective will be Jake’s INNER JOURNEY of realisation that he belongs in the world of the Na’vi, where he has REAL legs already. The INNER CALL TO ADVENTURE is the sensation of how much he loves his new body and the fact that he can walk and run. However, he REFUSES THE CALL by going back to the base and returning to the military program.

The SEPARATION from Jake’s ORDINARY WORLD happens in a number of stages. You can say that the arrival on Pandora is a first separation, from planet Earth. The first science sortie as an Avatar is the second and the physical separation from his team when he escapes the wild animal is the final one. Symbolic action for this Separation is the jump off the waterfull, a typical ‘Point of No Return’.

Early in the first sequence, we see Jake’s longing and his flaw: he wants his legs back. But he can’t do anything about it as he doesn’t make enough money. His wheelchair is also perceived as his flaw, as becomes clear when one of the military makes the comment “That is just … wrong.” He doesn’t belong in this military world.

Unlike the usual Hero’s Journey, in which we leave the ORDINARY WORLD at the end of Act One, the CALL TO ADVENTURE introduces Jake to a SPECIAL WORLD – that of his Avatar. This structure is similar to movies such as BACK TO THE FUTURE.

Jake meets with Grace, his ORDINARY WORLD MENTOR. However it is not until he meets her in the SPECIAL WORLD that she assumes her role of giving him ‘advice’ (“Don’t play with that!”) and guide him. Later, he will meet his SPECIAL WORLD MENTOR in the shape of Neytiri.

ACT TWO

In the SPECIAL WORLD of Pandora’s jungle, Jake is immediately confronted with a number of tests. The first is the Titanotheres, the second a Thanator. In both cases, he follows the advice from Grace. Once separated, he will need to develop new skills to withstand the Viperwolfs and here he needs the help from his new SPECIAL WORLD MENTOR, Neytiri.

Act IIa is essentially a succession of tests in a positive, optimistic atmosphere, leading to the Mid Sequence that reverses it all. By completing the ceremony and becoming one of the Omaticaya and mating with Neytiri, Jake’s Avatar has now committed to the Na’vi and betrayed the humans.

Immediately after the Mid Sequence, the Avatar proves his allegiance to the Na’vi by attempting to stop the bulldozers on their way to Hometree. Back at the base,  Jake is given a last chance and a deadline (one hour) to negotiate and make the Omaticaya retreat.

But the negotiations fail and the military attack and bring down Hometree, at the cost of many casualties.

This lowest point in the story is the ORDEAL (Crisis) for both Jake and his Avatar. They are arrested; the Avatar by the Omaticaya and Jake by the military. Next they are freed, each by their respective ally: Moat and Judy. This release (REWARD) completes the ORDEAL stage and allows the Hero to set out on the ROAD BACK.

ACT THREE

The last act is not a straightforward battle-confrontation-resolution-aftermath, because the story is explicitly told on two levels.

While the armies prepare for the final confrontation, we see Jake’s Avatar praying to Eywa in what seems a redemptive, spiritual ORDEAL that seals his transformation in the INNER JOURNEY. The REWARD for this follows when later Neytiri says “Eywa has heard you”.

In the OUTER JOURNEY, the story climaxes in the duel with the Colonel and is resolved with the death of the Colonel and the survival of Jake.

The INNER JOURNEY climax lies in the movie’s last sequence, when we see Jake’s last video log about his choice to leave the base forever.

The very last shot before the credits seals this choice, when the Avatar opens his eyes and we know that Jake will continue his life as a Na’vi.

Your comments, please!

______________________________

Could AVATAR have been a more satisfying story in any way? Probably (thanks MM).

Would it have been equally successful? Who knows…

Who cares.

OVERVIEW

ACT I, 3 Sequences (31mins)

ACT IIa, 3 Sequences (46mins)

MID SEQUENCE (7mins)

ACT IIb, 2 Sequences (24mins)

ACT III 3 Sequences (46mins)

Compare this structure with James Cameron’s scriptment of AVATAR.

Total: 12 Sequences (154mins)

(*)If you can think of any other successful films about the same theme, tell us in the comments.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Not only will you find a link to the transcription of the story meeting, Mystery Man adds his own incisive insights and boils them down to 10 terrific points.

You can watch movies, read books and attend workshops but it hardly ever gets any better than this.

Never has there been a better time to be a learning screenwriter.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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“Ron Cobb: Concept to Creation”

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

Did I mention it is also great fun?

A structural overview of Raiders of the Lost Ark (L. Kasdan, Story by G. Lucas and P. Kaufman 1981)

ACT ONE

Sequence A

00.00  Jungle Explorers, being followed.
04.00 Indiana Jones and Satipo enter the cave.
05.00 They find Forestal impaled but continue.
06.00 Indy avoids traps to take the little statue.
08.00 They escape from the cave, Indy is betrayed by Satipo.
09.30 Arriving outside, Indy is surrounded by Belloq and his men.
10.00 Indy manages to escape Belloq, he runs towards the water.
11.00 Indy boards the seaplane, in mid-air he finds the pilot’s snake.

Sequence B

12.30 Indy teaches, the girls are adoring him. Marcus enters.
15.00 Visitors tell the Nazis have found Tannis, are now onto the Ark.
19.30 Marcus got Indy the job, he needs Abner, wonders about Marion.
21.30 Indy boards a plane, but is followed (DI)
22.30 Nepal: Marion in drinking contest. (POV)
24.00 Marion: Abner’s dead. She will give Indy the bronze medallion.
28.00 Nazis come in, claim what Indy wanted, threaten Marion. (POV)
30.00 Indy comes to the rescue, fire. “I’m your goddamn partner.”

ACT TWO A

Sequence C

32.30” ‘Cairo, Sallah as ally, tells about Belloq who found the chamber.
35.00” ‘Monkey runs off to the Nazis (DI)
36.30” ‘They’re attacked, but Jones fights them off, Marion abducted.
39.30” ‘Indy chases the basket, it goes on a truck, which explodes.
40.30” ‘Indy mournes Marion; Belloq: “I’m a shadowy reflection of you.”
44.00” ‘Indy saved by kids & Sallah, followed by man w/ eye patch (DI).
45.00” ‘Sallah saves Indy from poisoned dates: Nazis in the wrong place.

Sequence D

47.30 Nazis are impatient, tell Belloq they want results. (POV)
48.00 Indy and Sallah approach the site.
49.00 Indy descends into the chamber, light beam; Sallah taken away.
53.00 Indy gets out, finds Marion but leaves her.
54.00 Indy finds the place of the Ark.

ACT TWO B

Sequence E

54.30 Belloq and the Nazis (POV)
55.00 Indy starts digging, a storm brews.
58.00 Indy opens the cave, finds a snake pit.
58.30 Belloq releases Marion, gives her a dress to wear //
60.30 Indy descends, burns snakes // Marion drinks // Indy & Sallah find Ark.

65.30 Marion is sober, takes knife, stopped by Nazis.
66.00 Indy and Sallah carry the Ark, lift it out.

Sequence F

67.30 Belloq notices the digging, alerts all.
68.00 Nazis take Ark out, throw Marion in and close the cave.
70.00 Indy and Marion argue in the snake pit, finally break through a wall.
72.30 They find an escape to the side.
73.00 Indy climbs the monowing plane and fights a guard.
75.00 Marion jumps in but Indy rescues her before it explodes.
78.00 Indy hears the Ark is on a truck for Cairo. Makes it up as he goes.

ACT THREE

Sequence G

79.00 Indy on a horse, following the truck.
81.00 Indy boards the truck, overpowers driver and takes over.
85.00 Indy drives truck into town, it is hidden from the Nazis.
86.00 They celebrate with Sallah before boarding the ship with Katanga.
88.00 On the boat, Indy and Marion kiss.

Sequence H

90.00 Engines have stopped, German submarine enters.
91.00 The Germans take the cargo and Marion.
93.00 Jones climbs on board the submarine.
94.00 Jones follows the Ark from the islan submarine base onto the island.
96.30 After a standoff, Jones has to give in.
100.0 Belloq initiates a ceremony that calls in the spirits who kill the Nazis.
104.0 Indy and Marion are free, all Nazis have disappeared.

Sequence I

104.3 Washington DC: Indy is unhappy “Top Men are working on it.”
105.3 Indy and Marion off to have a drink.
106.0 Ark is stored as “Top Secret – Army Intel”

Full Synopsis:

ACT I

In the spring of 1936 an exploration party penetrates thick jungle on the South American continent. When the group’s leader stops to examine map fragments, another of the group pulls a gun. The leader, hearing the click as the turncoat chambers a round, pulls out a bullwhip and disarms the man, sending him fleeing back through the jungle. Thus does Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford) stay alive.

Indy and his remaining companion enter a dank and oppressively vast cave, where a competitor of his, Forrestal, disappeared. Inside the cave are several traps rigged by the ancient people who hid a small, valuable statue there — and one of the traps is found to have snared Forrestal. The two men find and retrieve the statue, but the cave is rigged to collapse when the statue is moved. Indy barely escapes the cave, while his companion betrays him and is killed trying to escape.

Seemingly safe, Indy is cornered by the Hovitos, the local tribe, who are led by Dr. Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman), an arrogant French archaeologist who is a longtime rival and enemy of Indy’s. Indy flees and is rescued by Jock (Fred Sorenson), flying a seaplane, though Indy isn’t pleased to find Jock’s pet snake Reggie inside.

Back stateside, Indy teaches an archeology class and is still upset over the loss of the statue, which he surmises Belloq is taking to Marrakesh; he has found pieces he feels will pay for a trip to Marrakesh to find Belloq, but Indy’s friend Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) dashes that hope by informing him that two Army Intelligence officers want to talk to him about Abner Ravenwood, his former teacher, who was his friend until Indy broke up with his daughter, Marion (Karen Allen).

The Army officers are concerned because they’ve intercepted a German cable concerning a mammoth archaeological dig in the Egyptian desert. When they read the cable, Indy and Marcus realize the Nazis have discovered Tanis, an ancient city buried in a gigantic sandstorm in 980 B.C. and the possible burial site of the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark was built by ancient Hebrews to hold the stone tablets on which Moses inscribed the Ten Commandments. It holds immense mystical power — enough to allow the Nazis to level mountains and lay waste to entire regions.

Indy flies to Nepal (followed by a Nazi agent, Toht (Ronald Lacey)) to confront Marion Ravenwood, who runs a restaurant and bar (and who can outdrink anyone) because he needs the headpiece to the Staff of Ra, whose crystals will allow him to determine the exact location of the Ark. Marion, still bitter over their breakup, nonetheless accepts when Indy offers her $3,000 and the promise of more when they return stateside. She is cryptic about the headpiece, and after Indy leaves she ponders it as she wears it around her neck.

Toht and several Sherpa heavies enter the bar and hold Marion hostage, with Toht ready to torture her for the headpiece. Indy returns and a firefight erupts during which the fireplace is dislodged and the building begins burning down. Toht finds the headpiece but when he grabs it he’s badly burned — leaving an image of one side of the headpiece branded on his hand. He escapes while Indy and Marion do likewise

ACT IIa

Indy and Marion fly to Egypt to see Indy’s pal, Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), who is working on the Nazi site and who reveals that the Nazis are aided by a French archaeologist (Belloq).

Later, while shopping at a Cairo bazaar, Indy and Marion are attacked by sword-wielding Arabs working for Nazi agents. Indy fights them off but in the confusion Marion is trapped in a large basket and taken by two of the terrorists. The effort to track her down is held up by a man brandishing a sword in intimidating fashion. The swordsman is shot down in short order by a thoroughly unimpressed Indy.

Soon Indy spots a basket carried to a truck filled with explosives and is fired on by a submachine-gun-wielding assailant. His Nazi commander orders the Arabs to take off, but Indy shoots them and the truck crashes, exploding and destroying the basket.

Disconsolate over losing Marion, Indy drowns his sorrows in drink but is met by more Nazi agents who escort him to a table at which is seated Belloq, who gleefully talks about finding the Ark. Indy, no longer caring whether he lives or dies, reaches for his sidearm as Arabs inside pull rifles — only to see Sallah’s large brood of children rush in and the “Arabs” to turn out to be US Marines, much to the embarassment of Belloq.

Sallah takes Indy to see a shaman who is reading the Ra headpiece after both men have learned that Belloq and his Wehrmacht aide, Colonel Dietrich (Wolf Kahler), have obtained a copy of the headpiece. (Neither man is aware that it is a duplicate traced from Toht’s burned hand.) The shaman reveals two critical facts: first, that the headpiece gives the precise height of the Staff of Ra, and second, that the staff the Nazis used was too long — so their excavation is over a mile away from the Ark’s actual burial site, which is known as the Well of Souls.

Infiltrating the mammoth site, Indy is lowered into an underground maproom containing a precisely detailed miniature of the city. Using the Ra headpiece, he identifies the precise location of the Well of Souls. Sneaking further around the gigantic camp, Indy is shocked to find Marion, alive but bound and gagged. Indy starts to free her, but when she reveals that the Nazis keep asking about him and what he knows, he realizes he can’t cut her loose without revealing his presence to the Nazis.

Late that afternoon Indy and Sallah sneak a digging party of their own to the actual location of the Well of Souls.

ACT IIb

Late into the night they dig open the chamber, and to Indy’s horror it is filled with dangerous snakes. Indy clears an area of snakes with burning torches, then lowers himself into the chamber and burns many of the snakes alive with flaming gasoline. Sallah follows and the two eventually find the gigantic chest that is the Ark.

By now it is dawn, and only now does Belloq notice the commotion a mile away. The Nazis surround the site and Indy is left trapped inside, but Dietrich leaves him with something else — Marion, who is thrown into the chamber and the area closed off.

Indy notices a wall where snakes are entering. He climbs a mammoth statue and with all his might breaks it from its foundation and it crashes through the wall. The two find an opening to the surface, and discover the airfield at the excavation camp, where there is a bizarre Nazi transport plane. The two sneak up to the plane, but Indy is attacked by a mechanic and a prolonged fight ensues that is joined by a burly Nazi who pummels Indy before being punched backward and shredded to bits by the plane’s propellers. Marion seizes one of the plane’s machine guns and opens fire on Nazi soldiers, in the process setting a fuel dump aflame. The fire destroys the area and the plane explodes, but Indy and Marion escape.

Dietrich orders his men to transport the Ark by truck to Cairo. When Sallah finds Indy and Marion, he is overjoyed they’re alive and tells them of Dietrich’s plan.

ACT III

Indy takes a horse and pursues the convoy, seizing the truck containing the Ark and surviving a brutal chase and fight with Nazi soldiers to drive the Ark to safety.

He and Marion board a ship taking the Ark back to the US, but a Nazi submarine captures the ship. The Ark is taken aboard the sub and Marion taken prisoner for Belloq. Indy, however, escapes Nazi pursuit and rides the submarine as it sails on the ocean surface to an island where Belloq and the Nazis trek to the top of a mountain.

Indy has grabbed a rocket launcher and intercepts Belloq, vowing to blow up the Ark unless Marion is freed. But Belloq calls Indy’s bluff, knowing Indy wants to know what the Ark contains as much as anyone. Indy finds he can’t carry out his threat, and is seized.

At an elaborate ceremony atop the mountain Indy and Marion, tied to a pole, can only watch as the Ark is opened, but it contains nothing but sand, the remains of the stone tablets. No sooner is it opened, however, than its spirits suddenly appear. Indy and Marion, remembering an ancient code that requires people to close their eyes and not look at the now-freed spirits, withstand the mayhem that ensues as the energy of the Ark surges forth and its spirits attack the now-terrified Nazis, killing the entire contingent and destroying Belloq in gruesome fashion. The energy mass surges high into the sky before returning to the Ark and resealing it, leaving Indy and Marion drained but freed.

Weeks later Indy and Marcus feud with the Army officers over the whereabouts of the Ark, Indy angry that the Army has no idea what it has in the Ark — though it appears they in fact do understand what they have, as the Ark is sealed in a large crate and stored anonymously in a gigantic government warehouse, never to be seen again.

Full synopsis courtesy of IMDb.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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Rather than opening a dialogue about why THE INSIDER works for some people and not for others, Linda treated it as an example of a failed script. To her defense: it was only part of that night’s workshop and time constraints didn’t allow her to divert.

THE INSIDER not only put Russell Crowe on the celebrity map with a Best Actor Nomination, the movie was also nominated for another six awards including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. That’s a pretty good result for a ‘failed script’. As a matter of fact, it smells a bit like my not so smart move to call WOLF CREEK a ‘missed opportunity’ in terms of screenwriting at the offices of Australia’s Film Financing Corporation.

Linda Aronson’s workshops got me thinking and inspired me to the idea of an online forum about issues like this and about story structure in general. Australia doesn’t have a screenwriting culture which recognises the importance of story development as opposed to script development.

We have an abundance of script assessment services happily charging writers hundreds of dollars for a full screenplay assessment without assessing the story’s overall dramatic structure first. Does any established producer / government funding body / Hollywood Studio read a full-length spec script without judging the story outline first? Right.

But enough of this sub plot for now. Back to the main story.

THE INSIDER – SCHINDLER’S LIST

I don’t recall Linda’s argument about THE INSIDER in detail as I have the arrogant habit to shut down when I am not allowed to argue my point. In essence, I believe the bottom line was: the casting of Al Pacino shows that the filmmakers considered his character the protagonist (Russell Crowe was pretty much a nobody on the international scene until that movie) but Pacino’s character is too weak and underdeveloped to carry the movie for its runtime of over two and a half hours.

A lot of movie buffs (including members of the Academy) will agree that THE INSIDER worked, despite its slightly unconventional structure. Linda is right: the script does not follow a straightforward three act plot.

Instead I believe here are two main stories with three acts each, hooked into each other very much like SCHINDLER’S LIST in which we first follow Itzhak Stern (Ben Kingsley) who’s objective it is to get as many Jews into the factory as possible. Once we are well into his journey’s second act and over an hour into the film, Schindler (Liam Neeson) witnesses the clearing of the Krakow ghetto which demarcates his first act’s turning point. Now his objective is to get the workers out of the factory and into safety. Think about it: the Schindler character doesn’t really have a strong enough dramatic objective to get the story to that point. But Stern does.

Similarly, in THE INSIDER it is Wigand’s (Russell Crowe) Second Act objective to get his inside information safely to Bergman (Al Pacino), at which point we’re already into Bergman’s Second Act, which is all about getting the information to the public through his television show. Obviously we are now only talking about what Vogler would call the Hero’s Outer Journey, i.e. the ‘visible desire’. But I believe the Inner Journeys of these characters very much follow the same structure.

I would love to hear your view on these (admittedly rudimentary) story analyses. To me these two movies illustrate that:

– it is a myth that a movie should have three acts.
– it is a must that major characters have three acts.

However…

SYRIANA recently scratched a thin layer off my confidence in the traditional three act story structure. For a short while at least. To say that writer/director Stephen Gaghan is not really a slavish follower of the Syd Fields and Robert McKee’s of this world, is a bit of an understatement. Instead he learned from reading Tolstoy’s diaries in which the novelist explains his four main driving principles, the first of which is NOT “story”. Instead, in order of priority Tolstoy lists: Transition, Context, Story and Character.

McKEE vs. TOLSTOY

Clearly, this approach to screenwriting works for Gaghan who won earlier accolades with his script for Soderbergh’s TRAFFIC. Showing structural similarities with the latter film, SYRIANA paints a multi-textured, multi-protagonist tapestry giving us a hint of an insight in the complex issues that govern the world of the oil trade and middle-eastern politics. If you dig it, it’s riveting cinema and you’ll want to watch it again. If you don’t, you certainly have a valid reason for that.

SYRIANA is a brilliant piece of screenwriting but it appeals to the mind rather than the heart. Because of that, I don’t believe this type of political manifesto will mobilise the masses any time soon. Audiences today firstly want to be emotionally moved rather than intellectually engaged.

The above consideration is only an introduction to what I find one of the most entertaining discourses on screenwriting I have recently heard. In a podcast of nearly 90mins, Gaghan talks to CREATIVE SCREENWRITING MAGAZINE about his journey to screenwriting stardom, about his writing process and of course: SYRIANA.

Go to CREATIVE SCREENWRITING to find out how to download this podcast as well as other Q&A’s with the writers of CAPOTE, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE etc. If you can’t find it, send me an email and I might point you to it.

DVD COMMENTARIES

Not a lot of DVD’s come with a commentary that is useful from a story or screenwriting perspective. Hence the excitement when we do find one that sheds a good light on the movie from the writer’s pov.

Hitchcock’s NORTH BY NORTHWEST comes with a commentary track by Hollywood legend Ernest Lehman. And although he doesn’t go into a lot of detail about the actual writing process, he reveals a goldmine of facts and anecdotes about his working relationship with Hitch. Ironically, it’s another movie that wasn’t written following the screenwriting text books.

Speaking of which: a great analysis of NORTH BY NORTHWEST can be found in a work that I have been recommending a lot lately: Paul Gulino’s SCREENWRITING – THE SEQUENCE APPROACH. This book offers only about twenty pages of theory, followed by a thorough dramatic analysis of such great and diverse works as LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, DINER, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST and TOY STORY. The basis is the Aristotelian Three Act model, the principles of drama and anticipation as taught by the late Frank Daniel.

LOOSE ENDS (potential spoilers warning)

THE WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN: Wonderfully crafted feel-gooder. The only problem with this movie is its title. A more appealing label would have drawn even more people to the Box Office and made word of mouth easier. Hopkins is sensational and most side characters go beautifully against cliche. Somebody on IMDb calls it “A Chick Flick for Guys”. So true.

V FOR VENDETTA: When your name is Wachowsky, you don’t have to worry about story structure or character development. As long as you have a strong concept, the fans will queue. I applaude the subversive concept of portraying Guy Fawks as a hero but I wish I could have loved this movie more. The story would have been helped with a more rigorous development of the V / Evey relationship. Also, the Wachowsky’s have the bad habit of leaving their heroes for too long, one of the problems I seem to remember sunk Matrix III.

THE PROPOSITION (DVD): Have a look at it from a story structure point of view. I sincerely enjoyed it until the scene when Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone) throws the keys to the jail in the sand. To me this marks the end of the second act, which comes way too early in the movie. It also takes the wind out of the sails of the Stanley / Martha subplot which up until that point had been really nicely developed.

KING KONG (DVD): If you don’t like the 1933 original, you probably won’t like this one either. After all you’re expected to empathise with an ape and his consenting playmate. Despite the groundbreaking and breathtaking visuals in Jackson’s KONG, the real action after The Longest First Act in Human History (that is not counting SCHINDLER’S LIST) starts with a dino stampede which just briefly looks downright clumsy. But I didn’t mind it and the FX only get better towards the movie’s phenomenal finale on top of the Empire State.

In terms of Jackson’s (or rather: Fran Walsh’s) structure and drama skills, I’d like to refer again to a great article in Paul Gulino’s SCREENWRITING – THE SEQUENCE APPROACH in which the author makes a razorsharp analysis of THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. It shows weaknesses that have been largely ironed out in the later installments of the trilogy and now also his version of KING KONG.

But I think I love this movie for a different reason. Peter Jackson is one of the very few living directors who can handle a colossal production like this and still retain a fresh, innocent and boyish feel. You forget the years of preparation and the sheer unmanageable machinery involved in getting this on the screen. It’s the type of magic which George Lucas has long lost.

Karel FG Segers

Karel Segers wrote his first produced screenplay at age 17. Today he is a story analyst with experience in acquisition, development and production. He has trained students worldwide, and worked with half a dozen Academy Award nominees. Karel speaks more European languages than he has fingers on his left hand, which he is still trying to find a use for in his hometown of Sydney, Australia. The languages, not the fingers.

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