Movie Reviews

Jonathan Empson writes ‘mercifully short reviews’, the best of which we republish here on The Story Department.

Mini Review – Frances Ha

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Frances Ha Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson Frances (Greta Gerwig, also the co-writer) shares a New York apartment and pursues her dream of becoming a dancer. Bearing in mind Gerwig’s awkward physicality, it’s no surprise to discover that her dream is fading. But she stays chipper, despite having no Plan B for her life, … Read more

Mini Review – The Conjuring

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The Conjuring  Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson The Perron family move into a large and run-down house – a deceased estate – in 1971 and discover that the deceased owners seem not to have moved out yet. Clocks stop, doors creak, things go bump in the night, various Perrons get thumped in the night, … Read more

Mini Review – Only God Forgives

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Only God Forgives Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson Julian’s boxing club in Bangkok is a front for his drug business. He runs both using as few words as possible. His brother Billy murders a prostitute, so local cop Chang arranges for the girl’s father to beat Billy to death. Chang wants to clean up … Read more

Mini Review – This Is the End

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This Is the End Mercifully Short Review by Jonathan Empson Hollywood’s A-list stoner set (Seth Rogen et al), playing caricatures of themselves, gather at James Franco’s house (“I designed it myself”) for what turns out to be the last party on earth. Before they know it, the Apocalypse (yeah, that one, with a capital letter) … Read more